This
is Matt.
He fell in love with
Carmen.
Carmen: Matt and I have been
married for almost nine years now
together for 11.
Then Carmen fell for Keith,
who was already in love with Brooklyn,
and did I mention Brooklyn was also dating Matt?
Brooklyn: I think the best label that
we've come up with so far
is a
heterosexual quad,
or a poly quad
or a
double couple relationship.
Whatever they call their relationship,
not everyone has reacted positively
to them.
Carmen: People just assume that when you're
poly amorous they're like,
"Oh, you're into some weird stuff."
No matter what you do,
I mean, people judge you still.
And it's not just judgment they have to contend with.
Brooklyn: Does anyone ever get jealous
on the count of three raise your hands, ready, go.
Matt.
Yeah, we get jealous. A lot.
[Inaudible]
Carmen: Hey, this is like a normal Saturday night,
trying to look more comfortable but it's not working
How did the quad start?
Matt and I got into west coast swing dancing
last year.
and
Brooklyn and Keith are kind of the top people
in Nashville to do that.
And we had seen them around and
you know, Matt and I personally had talked about
an open relationship
or what that would look like.
And we kind of just all hung out
a couple of times.
It happened pretty quickly.
I mean, it was very organically too.
As a quad, we've been together for about eight months.
Not long into their poly relationship
and all four people in this quad
are living under one roof.
Brooklyn: Keith and I were in an original relationship,
and Matt and Carmen are married
in their original relationship as well
We like to call ourselves the OGs.
And then we also have this switch where
Keith and Carmen are in a relationship.
And me and Matthew are in a relationship as well.
I think the best label that we've come up with so far
is a heterosexual quad,
poly quad,
double couple relationships.
Matt: I've seen a lot of monogamous relationships that
they just make it work.
And that's not something that me and Carmen wanted to do.
We didn't want to just make it work for 20 years, 30 years,
we wanted to actually live a loving life.
And so if this is the way to do that...
Carmen: Always thanks me for laughing at his jokes,
but I think they're funny.
Keith: She laughs and listens which is great
It actually makes me feel really good.
Brooklyn: It's hard to be monogamous in today's
day and age.
Like there's so many social media outlets,
a lot of temptation, if you will.
There are pieces in within yourself and within other people
that aren't always going to align perfectly
and if you have other people in your life to kind of fill those gaps.
Matt: Me and Brooklyn, we tend to have a lot more banter,
like, than me and Carmen.
Carmen: Keith and I really kind of
do more like soul search work together.
Is that fair to say? Or like?
Keith: Yeah,
I think that
we tend to dig a little deeper into our feelings,
Each one of us kind of have roles in each other's lives that
are met by the individuals here.
That's pretty great family unit overall.
But it's not just the four of them living under one roof.
Carmen and Matt's two young children are also part of the picture.
[Inaudible]
Carmen: Ken and Ellie know that Brooklyn and Keith are part of the family
and that we all love them very much beyond that
we refer to them as their godparents,
and that's all you know, they do know.
Ken: Brooklyn and Keith,
Mommy, dad,
and me and Amy.
Interviewer: So what do you think about having Keith and Brook
as part of the family now?
Ken: That they're nice to us
and I like them being here,
Interviewer: Yeah?
Carmen: There probably will be a point where we would tell them,
they don't...
I mean,
Matt: They're just so young.
Carmen: At six and three, I don't think you
really even understand what a marriage looks like
or just a romantic relationship
because you don't really have anything to go off of.
I do think eventually, we would tell them.
Carmen: Get some ice cream at the ice cream store?
Ken: I want to get donuts.
Carmen: Donuts?
Ken: We go out sometimes,
and we go to restaurants.
And that's it.
With two kids and a longtime marriage to Matt
Carmen found it hard opening up about her evolving relationship.
I was pretty nervous to tell my family because I felt like
they weren't going to be okay with it or
judge me.
I put it off for a while and then I finally was just like,
"Mom, we're dating other people."
And I just like blurted it out.
[inaudible]
I was like, I'd rather have it out there and then...
I mean, people are going to judge you
if they love you, if they don't love you,
no matter what you do, I mean, people judge you still.
with some judgment being hard to to deal with than others.
Carmen: They tell me all the time, how they're like,
Are you thinking about your children, and it's going to mess them up.
And it's not right
and all that stuff.
So that's been pretty hard for me because I take
parenting very seriously.
And I would never do something that would put my children in danger.
So that's been kind of difficult.
Carmen: You have it with two hands?
I would say the biggest misconception is that people think that we just,
you know,
do stuff all together and have orgies
all day and every day. And that's it.
I mean, I feel like people just assume that when you're
poly amorous or that you have
multiple loves in your life,
people think, they're like, "Oh, you're into some weird stuff."
We feel the most judgment
when we first tell people about our relationship.
But for the most part, it's been really positive.
Most people just have a lot of questions.
And it's not just the judgment that this quad has had to contend with.
Brooklyn: Does anyone ever get jealous?
on the count three raise your hands ready to go,
Matt?
Yeah, we get jealous a lot, but that's just part of it.
It's one of the challenges, I feel when we're all communicating
that we can work through anything.
Brooklyn: What would I like to do for my next date night?
Matt: Would you like going out and just going to a restaurant
and hanging out?
Brooklyn: I do
I would love to do a date day
and go to like an amusement park or something
Brooklyn: Yes, we do schedule
switch or OG time, however we like to
to not make it so...
Keith: Rigid?
Brooklyn: Yeah,
so rigid, like ...
Carmen: Flexible schedule.
Brooklyn: Yeah flexible schedule, obviously...
If there is a tiff that's happening between
the OG and it's time for us to switch,
we don't do that
because we haven't seen
the best outcome.
So we make sure that our relationships are solid
before we go into switching.
Because we don't want anyone to be hurt.
Matt: We all kind of give each other a look like
"Hey, is it..."
Matt: Brings a lot more excitement into it as well,
because we don't want to lose that
Keith: The benefits of being in a poly relationship are
definitely...
just having another person to lean on
emotionally
and connect with them
in a deeper level.
With so many benefits being poly
this quad have no intention of going
back to being two pairs anytime soon.
Brooklyn: Being in a quad relationship
is just the extra amount of everything.
It's going to be extra love,
which is amazing.
It's going to be extra fights or
extra disagreements.
Sometimes it's amazing and sometimes it's not amazing.
So you have those hills and valleys in every relationship.
Matt: Who doesn't want more love in their life?
It's been pretty great actually.