Transcriber: Ariana Bleau Lugo Reviewer: Hom Liu
Show me a stranger
and I'll show you a friend that you haven't met yet.
Because the obstacle in the way of anything
is usually just one of the prices of success.
And people are more than numbers.
To crack a smile is really no stress.
Divide my time like economics,
I love to say "Hi" and "Bye" less.
Multiply first impressions by everything you might have guessed.
Prejudice takes time
but my time is business.
And this just makes big dollars and sense.
Why would you hate when love just costs less?
In fact, the muscles it takes to make a frown
make more work than to just turn it upside-down.
But you hate it when I'm polite.
Can't stand when I'm sincere.
Call me all these names. Wondering why I'm still just standing here?
Mainly because your ignorance leads me to believe
that you really just need a hug. (Laughter)
And I've been public enemy number one
ever since I learned to kill them with love.
I am a psychotic serial lover.
Seriously considering only complimenting our mothers,
because whether you like it or not,
I am your brother.
A teddy bear terrorist chilling with
my well-mannered crew.
Yeah, you're a racist but I'm gonna still hold the door open for you.
'Cause seriously, dude, ain't no need for the attitude
and I ain't mad at you, I had bad days too.
Here's my celly. Let's talk. I'm a great listener too.
Family driving you crazy, man, and I know I ain't do.
Let me know. I love kids, I can be a babysitter too.
Yeah, boy, 'cause I'm nice like that.
I even watch your car if you promise that you'll be right back.
So relax and be cool.
Ain't no point in lying to you.
I am a servant and my master sees all that I do.
So tell me what you need, dude.
A dollar? Here, take two.
Achoo! May a lord bless you, guide you, and make things easy for you.
This respect thing is just what I do.
And it's past tolerating. It's on the path
of understanding and appreciating you.
So tell me what you're gonna do
when the love come for you?
Insult my heritage? We're both from Adam and Eve, fool!
Oh, snap! How you like that?
You gave me extra change and I gave it right back.
I let people pass when they wanna switch lanes
'Cause if it was me, I hope they'd do the same.
You butchered my name but this is OK.
It happens all the time.
I won't correct it anyways.
And it may sound strange but I'm a beat at change.
Improve every day to prove their rudeness is lame.
I believe in modesty and try to lower my gaze,
and if everything is from above than everything is the same.
I ain't impressed by money, cars, clothes, or fame.
I am a Muslim, so the trinkets of this world don't mean a thing.
I was taught that peace is not the absence of war.
But peace is a feeling that can only come
from remembering your Lord so for the sake of peace
there's no point in hating me anymore.
It's a big place. We can all live together in this world.
I invite you all to join me in this jihad of love,
and see first hand why
fundamentalism still begins with fun.
(Laughter)
And if you don't agree
I won't even judge.
I just kill you all
with love.
(Applause)(Cheers)
(Music)