hey guys we're back with another
collaboration with insight junkie now he
has written this amazing script on how
to be more social but also if you guys
didn't know he animates the most of my
videos so I'd love it if you want and
check out his channel and also subscribe
to the animations are probably super
familiar to a lot of us have trouble
getting out of the house on a friday
night it seems like everyone else in the
world is having fun while you don't
really have anything special to do some
people are just born social they seem to
be very agreeable and social even as
baby and everyone likes them in the life
of the party then there are people who
don't really like talking to people that
much and end up becoming wallflowers
there's nothing wrong with being an
introvert in fact they can be tremendous
power in that however all of us can
benefit from learning how to be more
social and how to get it out of our
shells because that is the bedrock of
our society we have to communicate with
people on a daily basis and the better
you know how to do that the more
successful you will be in the society in
this video we're going to show you how
you can start to be more social and
start getting out there more often
number one is to join a club or a hobby
if you're not particularly social to
start with this can be very hard to jump
into the deep end and start talking
everyone this is related to join a club
or find a hobby for people with similar
interests of yours can congregate this
will help you break the ice and we'll
give you a decent level of comfort to
converse with these people
it helps a lot of you doing a club which
is more outdoors like sports or
activities and public parts because then
you'll have something to do when you're
not talking to people also being out in
the open and in nature will naturally
easier nerves to be easier for you to
start talking to people you can also use
meetup.com 25 meters that are happening
near you
number two is to say more than just hi
you might know a lot of people in your
school or office but you might not
really know who they are they're just
acquaintances that you see every once in
awhile and every time you see them we
just nod your head and say hi easiest
way to start being more social is to
start talking to people like this in
your life it's not that awkward for you
to start talking to them because you
already know them on some sort of level
but it's also different enough to push
you out of your comfort zone so the best
thing to do is to force yourself to say
more than just hi talk about a current
event that happened or maybe you noticed
something they're wearing try to avoid
cliché topics like the sport or the
weather because then you won't really be
able to form a real connection with the
person helpful thing to remember is the
four techniques which we talked about in
an earlier video another thing i'd
recommend is to avoid talking about-
topics try to stay clear of
controversial topics like politics in
your first few interactions with people
if you do that then you will begin to
associate with negative feelings which
is something that they don't want that
number three is to bring out your rough
edges when you're talking to people
don't try to act like you're perfect
if you make a mistake and laugh about it
share stories about your failures and
talk about how stupid you felt this is
not self deprecating this only helps you
are making a real connection with people
they see you as more authentics we've
all met those really uptight people who
only talk about certain things and
refuse to acknowledge their own mistake
you don't want to become like that
people are attracted to each other's
rough edges people don't care if you're
perfect all they care about is that
you're at ease with yourself let your
personality shine and don't be afraid of
any part of you if you're really into
classical music and all of your
co-workers only listen to pop don't try
to conform to their standards
share your opinions with them let them
know why you're passionate about certain
things when you sure to do this you will
find that more people will gravitate
towards you because they know that
you're actually stand for something that
the important thing is that you don't
start preaching don't be judgmental
towards others for their opinions it's
best to follow the Golden Rule here
treat others like you want them to treat
you so good number for us to start
talking to strangers now this can be
really scary at first when you're little
bit more comfortable talking to people
that you have similar interests with
then you can start going and getting out
there more start talking to random
strangers you might come into contact
with everyday complement the cashier on
its launch talk to the girl sitting next
to you on the train just be open to
having a conversation with everyone and
don't be afraid of it
I know this can be very nerve-racking
and something that is certainly not easy
to do if that's the case with you then
i'd recommend that you start talking to
people who are paid to talk to you
salespeople cashiers you don't have to
have the lengthy conversations about the
meaning of life with them you just talk
a little bit more than you normally
would for example you go to a restaurant
in that waiters just hanging around talk
to them a little bit
ask them what their favorite dishes from
the menu what I've noticed is that as I
start to do this i form a more human
connection with the person and this
helps me way more than you might expect
many times in restaurants waiters have
explicitly told me not to order certain
dishes even though they were expensive
sometimes closed sales people I told me
that it's better if I come in a week
after because we'll be having a sale and
i'll get a better deal just talking a
little bit making a connection can come
back to you in many ways that you
wouldn't
never expect that number five is that
don't be afraid to make a fool out of
yourself in middle school this was
probably the biggest problem for me and
probably for a lot of people to I think
the biggest reason that holds the most
people back socially is that they're
afraid to make a fool out of themselves
well here's the thing even if you do
make a fool out of yourself it's not
really a big deal
nobody will think about it for weeks if
you say something offered to them on the
bus and nobody will remember you if you
fumbled while you're trying to say
something on stage at least for the most
part the thing is that may surprise most
of you is that people are just as
insecure as a you are so they don't
really have time to worry about you
they're too busy worrying about
themselves if you really want to
condition yourself to not care what
other people think
just take your shirt off in public and
walk around wear your underwear around
your pants once you actually do
something like this and realize that
most people simply brush past you will
truly realize that you're afraid of
nothing for so long you don't have to
take it to that extreme though all you
have to do is remember that everyone on
this planet shares some common traits
99% of our DNA is similar to everyone
else on this planet and as long as
you're able to connect with some people
and share who you are with them you're
going to be much happier and in turn
much more successful at every facet of
your life
I hope you guys enjoy this video and
learn something if you did go check out
inside junkies channel
personally I would really appreciate it
if you guys subscribe to him
thank you for watching and until next
video