So what many of you don't know is
that this is Annie Murphy's first talk show appearance.
Aw.
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
And obviously, because we're all family at this point,
we couldn't have it go smoothly.
So we had to play a prank and annoy the heck out of her.
[CHUCKLES]
Enjoy.
It's oh, so cozy in here.
So I just wanted to say hi.
I just want to say hi.
I am basically your personal assistant for the day.
Literally anything.
[CHUCKLES] I can hook you up with whatever you want.
--salad.
I have this.
I can hook you up with anything you need.
I have--
I have even offered massages, and people have taken them.
--massages, and they've taken them.
Do you want a massage?
Oh, my gosh.
Do you want a massage?
[LAUGHTER]
No--
No, OK.
--not right now, but--
Totally.
OK, [CHUCKLING] no, because I'm feeling kind of easy breeze--
Do you mind if I sit down?
--a round of stress, I will--
Do you mind if I sit down for just a hot sec?
Please, whatever you want.
OK, thank you.
Whatever you want, take a load off.
[SIGHS] No, I think I'll get up.
You OK?
OK.
Yeah, I'll get up.
No, sit-- no.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so nervous.
I'm just nervous.
I love your show--
[CHUCKLES] Oh, my gosh, thank you.
--so much.
Thanks so much.
Would you-- can I offer you any of my liqueurs or--
Oh.
You know what, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah?
Oh, OK, I'll get you one.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, wow, thank you.
So what's it like working with Dan and Eugene?
What's it like working with Dan and Eugene?
I mean, Eugene is my father.
He's the best.
They're just so handsome.
Dan is my brother.
They're both so handsome.
They're both so-- and Eugene is getting more handsome as he
gets older, which I think--
[LAUGHTER]
--and he's just a dapper dude.
Is he really gay?
--welcoming and warm and just--
Can I ask you, is he really gay?
Dan?
Yeah.
No, I meant Eugene.
No, I meant Eugene, sorry.
Eugene's been married for 45 years.
I'm shocked.
I'm so shocked.
Are you wearing perfume?
I'm not.
I think it's this candle.
OK, because I could have sworn that it
was something like when we got close, I smelled something.
I thought I smelled something when we got close.
Maybe it's our drinks.
Maybe it's your deodorant?
Could it be a deodorant, my deodorant?
[SNIFFS]
I don't know.
I [INAUDIBLE] smells.
Hold on.
I actually think it might be me.
It might be me.
That is the most embarrassing thing.
That's very embarrassing.
I'm the one that smells good.
[LAUGHTER]
Not you.
It's not you.
It's me.
[CHUCKLES]
It's definitely not you.
About-- just for a few months.
Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
Cool.
And what before that?
I worked for the--
I worked for--
--FBI.
--the FBI.
[LAUGHTER]
Walk me through this.
Like internship, sorry.
Like internship-- that's--
I should clarify.
[LAUGHS]
I still have a badge--
I still have the badge.
They let you keep the badge?
Yeah, yeah.
--and I stole it.
OK, I stole it.
[LAUGHTER]
Someone came in, loved my personality--
--hired me here.
And I get along really well with Ellen.
I get along really great with Ellen.
Yeah?
I mean, she's running the ship in a big way, right?
She is--
Oh--
Oh, yeah--
--oversees everything.
Speaking of--
--do you know what you're wearing today?
--do you know what you're wearing?
I do.
OK.
OK, the one thing I'll say is it's a bit simple.
The one thing I'll say is it is simple.
And Ellen--
--likes color.
Is there a backup?
There is no backup.
No backup, oh, gosh.
Oh.
Sorry, I feel like I've overstepped--
That was too much.
Yeah, I overstepped.
I overstepped.
I'm sorry.
[CHUCKLES]
That's OK.
I feel like Dan's going to balance us out.
Anyway, I'm a huge fan.
Thank you.
Can I ask a big favor?
Mm-hmm.
So my family's here.
And they're not necessarily fans of the show.
They're not necessarily fans of the show,
But I thought maybe they'd be interested in saying hi to you
or--
--be interested in saying hi to you or--
--taking a picture or something.
--taking a picture?
Sure.
Would it be OK if they hung out in here with you?
Would it be OK if they came in and hung out with you?
Uh-- no.
OK.
I'm just--
They're two and three.
They're very well-behaved.
They're two and three.
They're sweeties, but it's OK.
OK.
Yeah.
Cool.
I would stop that.
Yeah, it's--
I'm just having a bit of a hard time.
OK.
It sounds like you're good.
And it also sounds like I've annoyed you a little bit.
It feels like I may have annoyed you a little bit.
You haven't.
I'm sorry.
It's just--
[DOOR OPENS]
So how-- when did you find out?
OK.
[LAUGHING]
I want to know.
First of all--
[LAUGHTER]
What a great job.
--bless you for that.
[LAUGHTER]
Bless you and curse you for that.
Oh, my God.
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
That's funny.
Schitt's Creek, with our lovely family,
airs Tuesdays at 9:00 on Pop TV.
Catherine O'Hara, Annie Murphy, thanks for doing this with us.
We will be right back.