Alright, when I was a kid, Blockbuster was a special place to me
It wasn't just an abandoned building, where people shoot smack at
Like it is today
No, back then it was a haven for all your videogame and movie rental needs
Now, my family didn't have a lot of money, when I was growing up
So when we went to Blockbuster, it was a huge deal!
I'd be like, "HOLY HELL! WE'RE GOING TO BLOCKBUSTER?!"
"What is it, my birthday?!"
"Did we put our house up for a second mortgage, what the hell is the occasion, Mom and Dad?!"
It was like a mini vacation for me
I'd like get my pictures taken there and make like a photo album
"My vacation to Blockbuster"
"Here's me and the cashier"
"Here's the parking lot"
"Here's the syringe I found in the parking lot"
Now, my most memorable visit to Blockbuster Had to be the time, that I got
Pokemon
Pokemon Stadium
Pokemon Stadium For the Nintendo 64
I remember my friend Michael telling me about this Pokemon Stadium game
"DUDE IT LOOKS SO REAL!"
"I THOUGHT A GODDAMN CHARIZARD WAS GONNA HOP OUT OF THE SCREEN AND SNATCH UP MY LITTLE SISTER!"
*WAW*
I was like, "Hell yes! Give me some of that shit!"
'Cause this was a big deal
It's Pokemon in 3D for Christ's sake!
This was right around that time, where kids were selling their bodies on the street
For Pokemon cards
So, a few days later, a Christmas miracle happens
And we get to go to Blockbuster
So we pull up, get out of the car
I'm prancing through the parking lot, like a Las Vegan showgirl
I waltz into the videogame section, and of course..
Every goddamn copy of that Pokemon Stadium is gone!
There was like a tumbleweed bouncing across the floor
And I'm like, "God damn it! I'm gonna get stuck with Pilot Wings 64.."
"..or some shit, like I always do"
"Nobody wants to play Pilot Wings, what the hell is that shit?"
But on that day, the Lord Almighty decided to throw me a bone
"LET THE BOYYYY HAVE HIS POKEYMON!"
I check up front, to see if on the off chance
A copy might've been returned and not put on the shelf yet
And lo and behold, there it was!
BOOM! I GOT IT! SCORE!
But we're not out of the woods yet
Because now I gotta listen to my dad argue with the cashier
About our triple-digit late fees that we've acquired over the years
Because my dad never returned anything on time
We'd have movies out for weeks
They'd have, like, my dad's picture hanging on the wall
You'd have to, like, sneak in, wearing disguises and shit
"Yeah, it says you guys had Chitty Chitty Bang Bang fooorr... uhhh... 36 days!"
"Okay, look, I'll give you two dollars to put towards the late fee, alright?"
"That's all I got"
"Yeah, you gotta have to do better than that"
"Ah, for Christ's sake! What do you got in your pockets?"
"Uhh.. I got a Skittle.."
"Two dollars and a Skittle, how about that?!"
"Well, if that's all you guys can pay.."
".. you gonna have to pick something a little shittier at a rent, okay?"
"Uh.. you got Pokemon Stadium here, I mean.. that Pokemon in 3D, for Christ's sake.."
"I can rent you like a.. Steven Seagal movie"
"Or.. this one.. AirBud.. plays racquetball"
"Ah, you can kiss my ass with AirBud!"
"I'm not getting that AirBud movie, do you hear me?"
So somehow my dad talked our way into getting Pokemon Stadium that night
It might've been through sheer violence, I don't know, I don't remember
But I did get it!
I do remember sitting in the backseat, spazzing out like an idiot
"Holy hell! I can't want to get home and fight my fake animals against each other"
I got home and I played that game for like.. 16 hours straight
I didn't eat
I was, like, shitting in a bucket in my room
Like I said, it's Pokemon in 3D!
What a time to be alive!
So a week goes by and I still have the game
Now, either my dad forgot to take the game back, or he just didn't care
Probably both, if we're honest with each other
Either way, I wasn't telling him, I was gonna ride this way for as long as I could
Another week goes by.. And then a month goes by
Eventually, we get a letter in the mail from Blockbuster
And they're all like, "Hey, you better give us our shit back!"
"Or we're gonna.. do somethin'.. about it!"
Now, what that something is, I have no idea
They gonna send a SWAT team to my house in the middle of night? Try to steal the game back?
"WHERE IS IT? WHERE'S THAT POKEMON STADIUM FOR THE NINTENDO64?!!"
"Did you hide it in one of your Furbies?! Cut open the Furby!"
*cutting sound*
My dad comes in my room like, "Hey do you got a game from Blockbuster here?"
"Some.. uh.. Poke.. uh.. Pokeman Stadium? What is it?.. Pokey.. Pokeytron? Pokeytron Stadium"
"WHAT THE HELL IS IT CALLED?!"
I'm like, "Yeah, Dad, I've had it, since like the 4th grade"
"I don't even know where it's at right now"
"I think you've been using it as a coaster for your beer the past couple weeks"
I didn't really know, what we were supposed to do at this point
We've had the game so long
Do we just drop it off in the middle of the night? Like we're abandoning a baby at a fire station?
But to my surprise, my dad's like:
"Oh, well, to hell with it! Looks like we're keeping it!"
I was like "Oh, hell yeah!"
We high-five, confetti flew from the ceiling
Looks like I got a Pokemon Stadium for practically nothing
Years went by and I kept that game
And you know what Blockbuster decided to do about it?
And you know what Blockbuster decided to do about it? NOTHING!
They closed! Netflix assassinated it!
*shoots*
I still got that Pokemon Stadium
Now, sure, I guess we practically stole the game, if you look at it that way
But I don't care, I'd do it again!
And you know why? Because it's Pokemon in 3D for Christ's sake!
How many times I got to tell you?
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I just wanted to give a quick shoutout to Mustache Wax, he helped me out on this video
Very funny channel, very underrated too
He's let me do a few voices on a couple of his videos
Plus his animation doesn't look like a bunch of garbage, like mine does
So go check him out! https://youtube.com/user/MustacheWaxChannel
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