- [Interviewer] How long have you been drinking for?
- (scoffs)
Wow. I have had an illustrious career behind me.
And hopefully ahead of me, but we'll see how it goes.
I have been drinking...
Have I been drinking longer than I haven't?
(jazz music)
- Today, I'm going to relive my first drinking experience.
- I'm here to drink my very first alcoholic drink
that I ever consumed.
- I'm here to drink a beverage.
May or may not...
I can't speak words.
- Oh, this is going to be gnarly.
You're not going to make me drink my first drink ever.
- May or may not be alcoholic.
That's the word I'm trying to say. I'm gonna drink.
(jazz music)
- I've been drinking almost 10 years now, I think.
- Um, I had my first drink at 17, so not many.
- Quite awhile. Quite some time now.
- Ooh, yeah, a long time.
Decades, in fact. Many, many decades.
(jazz music)
- My very first drink was a very simple one
because we just took it from my friend's house.
So it was Miller.
- Yeah. My first drink was Bulmers Traditional Irish Cider.
- So, I had a Smirnoff Ice.
Yeah, I absolutely locked after that.
- It was a vodka mixed with cider.
- I'm not a fan of beer anyway,
and Miller is the most beery beer that you could possibly...
(drink fizzes)
- It's funny 'cause now I use this as a mixer
and that was my first drink.
- Oh no, no...
(laughs)
- Oh my God. I'm going to relive actually drinking it?
'Cause I hate cider now.
All right, I can do that.
(jazz music)
Bulmers was my first drink.
I think it was a lot of Irish people's first drink.
I was 14.
I was at a wedding.
- We were all trying to be mad older, so we're like,
"Yeah, no, I bought our drink,"
and nagging them for more cans, no problem.
- I had this one friend.
She was kind of the wild child.
So she was kind of the one that was always like,
"Girls, let's drink alcohol."
- I was a very good child.
When I say good,
I was sent to boarding school when I was very young.
So I didn't get to experience much of the world.
- My neighbor who was, I think 18 or 19,
was going to the bar,
and he was buying bottles of cider.
And he was buying me bottles of Cidona.
For those of you that don't know what Cidona is,
it's basically an apple-based soft drink,
which not dissimilar to the flavor of Bulmers.
- We all put our dads' suit jackets on.
We went to the off license.
He's just looking at us going, "Kids, what are you doing?"
So we waited outside, some dude got got us the drink.
I forgot to buy a mixer.
Oh, the smell of regret.
- But I was always that one courage going like,
"I'm going to keep my confirmation pledge.
I'm not going to drink until I'm 18 'cause God's watching."
Cheers.
- When my friends were like, "Let's drink alcohol!"
I was terrified.
I didn't enjoy the experience at all.
I didn't want to do it.
But I was like, "I don't want to be a loser
in front of my friends, so I'm going to try this beer."
- I forgot to buy a mixer, like an idiot.
So we were all in the factory.
I was like, "It's killed."
I just mixed the cider with the vodka.
- I was at my friend's.
I was about 17 and a half, I'd say at this point.
And everyone else was drinking.
So I was kind of like, "Will I? Oh God, should I?"
- So he thought it'd be a great idea to kinda
sneak me one-for-one.
So every second drink, I was having a Bulmers.
I was 14, never drank before.
Um, that was fine, initially. I just felt great.
It was like, "Woo, this is great!"
- So I literally mixed it in this little glass, in this lid.
Like little bit of cider, little bit of vodka.
Whoop. Little bit of cider...
Drank the whole thing in shots.
Nailed it.
- We were in her house. Her parents were gone.
We were with her big sister.
I'm getting her in trouble now.
But I mean, it was nearly 10 years ago, so it's fine.
- When I say (can opens) that I was a very sick boy...
I swear to God, I nearly killed myself.
- But like from the first taste I was like, "Eugh!"
'Cause it's so like... (sniffs drink)
It's like an old man drink.
Like a 14 year old would not appreciate this flavor at all.
Like, let's be honest.
- And I was so drunk.
I would go, "Oh, this Smirnoff, lads. Wow, this is amazing!"
Uh yeah... 4% (whistles)
- And then eventually he stopped
doing one for every second drink,
and just kept giving me Bulmers.
So I think I maybe had like eight bottles of Bulmers cider.
And yeah, I ended up being quite a mess at the wedding.
- I came in. As far as I was...
Like I've been told...
Like obviously my parents knew because I was goosed...
Spent the whole evening getting sick.
Also thought it'd be a great time to start smoking as well.
- Yeah, now we use this as a mixer.
But, um... It was a fun night.
I didn't have any more.
No, I had a Blue WKD after that!
- I'll illustrate.
I'd say I drank to about
just where the little Miller sign is.
And my other friend drank about three or four bottles.
And she was like, "Girls, I think I'm drunk."
- I didn't get sick.
I didn't smash any tables.
I just became an extremely flirtatious 14 year old
complete with a lot of acne and a really bad haircut,
hanging out with a bottle of "Cidona."
- And then she started getting like really weirdly drunk.
Because obviously her body couldn't handle it.
So about... 45 minutes in,
she starts throwing up.
Everywhere.
- So it was a horrible evening, a horrible evening.
I came home after getting sick down by the river
for the whole night.
Tripped over the stairs.
Pulled the coat rack down on top of me.
Got up off the floor asked me dad was he okay?
'Cause obviously I was grounded.
- So she gets it all over her bed sheets.
We have to take all the bedsheets off.
We are "kinda drunk."
'Cause you know, we've had like two sips of beer.
- I thought I was so drunk.
I wasn't anything. I was...
I think I had a sugar rush, to be honest,
more than anything else 'cause there was so...
there's so much sugar in these.
How much sugar's in this?
- And I swear to God, she threw up every half hour.
I didn't get a wink of sleep that night.
And I cried the entire time.
There's no control over the situation.
So I was at the bottom of the bed.
Like.... (crying) "I can't believe we did this.
We're so stupid. Why did we do this?"
My other friend was like, "Ha ha ha, this is goss."
- Went to bed.
I think I surfaced about three days later.
It was awful.
And I'm not looking forward to this.
This is sick, man.
Oh oh ah... Yeah.
Woo, ooo, ooo.
- Most people I know drank in fields
or in train stations, or you know, friends' houses.
Oh yeah. I got smashed at a wedding.
(jazz music)
- All of it. I just wouldn't have...
(laughs)
They'd be like, "Coming out tonight?"
"Nope."
That's what I would've done differently.
- Yeah. I would have done it with friends
and just had like a couple of tastes of beer
and been like, "Whoa, this is mad."
As opposed to going like, all out,
hell for leather first time.
- I think it was good that I had a taste of alcohol
before I went to college the next year...
That I wasn't going in completely blind.
And I also didn't experience what it was like to get
actually drunk yet.
So I think it was a good balance.
- No, I wouldn't do anything differently.
At the time, I used to wake up and hate myself.
But now I look back and I think it's really funny.
Just look after yourself and look after your friends.
Never let your friends go home alone,
or go off with someone or anything like that.
Just be responsible.
You can have responsible fun
and still get drunk while you're doing that.
So... Enjoy.
Cheers to that.
(laughs)
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- And you know...
(clinks glass)
Cheers.
(laughs)