the New York Times called Gabrielle
Bernstein a role model for a new
generation of spiritual seekers she once
told me she believes her purpose is to
help others
tune in to their own inner voice an
honor blog Gaby tackles everything from
spiritual tips on how to quit sugar to
handling negative comments to
meditations for preventing a freakout
moment Gabrielle's session is called the
universe has your back
Gabrielle Bernstein
New Year's Day of 2015 I had a plan my
plan was to get pregnant I had it down
it was perfect I'm going to get pregnant
right away in February I was going to
take the entire nine months to write my
book the universe has your back and I
was going to give birth in the fall and
then have the baby give birth submit the
book then take three months off with my
baby and go on a book tour perfect plan
right perfect plan the only problem was
I wasn't getting pregnant month after
month
I wouldn't get pregnant and I'd start
counting nine months ahead I start
looking at what I had ahead of me I'd
start thinking okay I've got this
speaking engagement I've got this
contract I've got to deal with and I
started cancelling those contracts and
cancelling those speaking engagements I
started driving my publishers crazy
because I was trying to change the
publication date of the book I was
driving my husband crazy because there's
absolutely nothing sexy about trying to
make a baby happen on your timeline and
I'm driving myself crazy because I'm
trying to control something that I
absolutely cannot control but all the
while I'm telling my friends and my
family members that I'm consciously
conceiving I was consciously controlling
every detail and six months go by and
I'm still not pregnant
at this point I start to worry I'm
getting older my body isn't working
there's something wrong with me I start
to feel this sense of shame but I'm not
going to talk about it I'm not telling
anybody how I'm feeling every time I go
on Instagram or Facebook I see more
bumps and more babies and I feel
separate and I feel alone and I begin to
compare myself to everyone around me to
make matters worse I had prematurely
announced my pregnancy to my friends and
my family members I even went as far as
to get on my stages publicly and tell my
students that I was planning to conceive
and this got really bad it got so bad
that I was at a book signing and this
young woman grabs my hand she walked up
to me and she asked me to sign
her book and she says you know Gabi I've
been channeling your spirit baby and she
has a message for you it's really pushed
me over the edge six more months go by
it's New Years Eve I'm at a dinner with
all of my college friends and they all
have at least one child maybe a second
on the way another couple had adopted a
child and I'm sitting around this dinner
table and I'm looking at everybody
prepare their kids for dinner and get
them ready for bed and I'm feeling like
I'm behind I'm missing out on this stage
of life and I'm not feeling good enough
I wake up the next day New Year's Day a
full year later and I got my period I
spent a year trying to make this thing
happen I spent a year trying to make my
body do something that it's not going to
do I'm feeling that shame I'm feeling
that inadequacy that separation and not
good enough I can't make this happen
thankfully I had a friend staying with
me my friend Jordan a very great
spiritual running buddy of mine and
Jordan looked at me he noticed my
depression and my sadness and and he
looked at me he said honey what is wrong
with you I said well you know Jordan I
couldn't make it happen my body isn't
working I can't make it happen in my
timeline I tried to change everything
around it wasn't working honey stop this
is not how we do things ask the universe
for help
was one of those divine spiritual
encounters when I was ready to listen
and I said thank you thank you Jordan
I'm ready to hear that I'm ready to
receive that and I excused myself and I
walked upstairs to my meditation pillow
and I sat down in my Zen den and I got
really grounded and I asked the universe
for help I went into my meditation and I
began to feel my extremities tingle and
my arms go numb and I started to connect
to that
presence of a higher power of my own
understanding that reliable presence
that is so familiar the presence of love
and magnitude that is within me and I
started to connect and get grounded and
aligned and in that alignment I heard
this voice come forward this voice of my
intuition this voice of my inner wisdom
and that voice said to me your plans are
in the way of God's plans it's time to
surrender at which point I feel this
energy begin to move me and lift me up
and bring me to my desk and they sit
down on my desk and involuntarily I
place my hands on the keyboard of my
computer and my fingers just start
typing and they're moving and they're
moving in all of a sudden at the top of
the page the words that we're not mine
came onto the page these are the steps
for spiritual surrender okay so I just
let my fingertips continue to go for
thirty minutes my fingers just glided
across that computer screen and I just
let the words come on to the page and
words that were not mine ideas that were
not mine belief systems guidance wisdom
that was not mine came on to this page
and within that half-hour period of time
I channeled the five steps for spiritual
surrender the exact steps that I needed
the exact messages that I was looking
for the guidance the wisdom the
connection I channeled the steps but now
I had to become brave enough to wonder
what would happen if I step back and let
the universe take the lead we all have
to become brave enough to wonder every
single one of us in this room today is
trying to control something you know I'm
talking about you all know what it is
maybe you're trying to control that ring
that you're trying to get on your finger
or maybe you're trying to control when
you're going to get that cash in the
bank or maybe you're trying to control
the outcome of a physical diagnosis but
all that control and all that
manipulation all that trying to make
something happen is creating resistance
resistance from the alignment resistance
from that in
to ative voice that is beckoning you all
the time resistance from your connection
to a power far greater than yourself a
magnitude that is within you that you
have forgot to listen to because you've
been too busy focused on what you need
to get but it's in the absence of that
resistance that we realign it's in the
absence of that resistance that we
remember the truth of who we are it's in
the absence of that resistance that we
get connected to the universe and the
universe is an ever-present energy of
love it is within us and around us and
always guiding us and it's through these
steps of spiritual surrender that we are
realigned that we reconnect with that
magnitude and that presence and we let
go of what we think we need and we
remember the truth of who we are so I
have a question for you all are you
ready to surrender great I am here today
to give you these five steps that I have
been using over the past year these
steps have grounded me they've realigned
me thank you for getting your notebooks
out people get ready I have been using
these steps to get reconnected realigned
and and and rebooted in a sense and
these are the steps of spiritual
surrender so that you can know that the
universe has your back even when things
are not working out the way that you
expected you ready step one step one
take your hands off the wheel through
prayer many of you are praying for that
cash or praying for that relationship or
praying for that outcome to be exactly
as you want it to be in the time that
you want it to happen but the secret to
prayer is to forget what you think you
need when we begin to stop praying for
what we think we need but instead begin
to pray for what is the highest good for
all that's when we get lit up that's
when invisible doors begin to open for
us that's when we align with the truth
and the magnitude of the presence of our
authentic power so take that in doesn't
that just feel awesome just to say that
I want to pray for what is of the
highest good for all just doesn't that
feel awesome to even think about that
thing
you've been controlling and holding on
to and simply say to yourself right now
you know what I'm just going to pray for
what's of the highest good for all take
the pressure off right yeah the second
step is to start to focus on what's
thriving we focus so much on what's not
working we so focus on the absence of
something why don't we focus on what's
already thriving in our lives when I
started to take the focus off of this
baby that I thought I needed to manifest
in this exact amount of time and started
focusing on the beauty in my marriage
focusing on my physical well-being
focusing on the spiritual journey that I
needed to go on I began to uncover
things about myself I didn't even know
and I started to let myself off the hook
and realign and get connected and I
started to feel that pressure of meeting
that thing just dissipate so when you
begin to take your focus off of that
thing you need and start to focus on
what is already thriving let me just say
something to you all you are thriving
because you are a super soul session
today okay you are thriving right now
you were playing the drums this morning
with Oprah okay you are good let's focus
on that the third step obstacles are
detours in the right direction so what I
realized was that this obstacle of not
getting pregnant right away was actually
a detour in the right direction it was a
detour towards my spiritual connection
it was a detoured towards hitting
another bottom in my life so that I
could have another awakening Rumi says
that the wound is the place where the
light enters you in that wound I was
awakened and I was given these steps
that I was blessed with and this journey
of developing my spiritual condition in
a way that I needed to really badly and
that obstacle of not getting pregnant
was exactly as it needed to be my baby
was up there going not now we had a plan
and I needed to go through this journey
so maybe you can begin to look at your
obstacles of maybe that divorce is an
opportunity a detour in the right
direction and
opportunity to start to love yourself
some more maybe that loss of that job is
an opportunity to begin to do that thing
you've been dreaming of maybe that
diagnosis is an opportunity to get
closer to God take that in let's
reorganize your obstacles right now what
are the opportunities what is the detour
in the right direction in what way can
you begin to turn it upside down and see
it as an opportunity to thrive an
opportunity to get more connected to the
truth
the fourth step ask for a sign we are
always in communication with the
universe the universe is always giving
us messages it's just that we're not
listening but when we ask we will always
receive it's the law we will receive so
asking for a sign that you're in the
right direction that you're on the right
path just last month I had to ask for a
sign I took 2016 off from trying to make
a baby I was just meeting that break I
wanted to get back into my alignment
with my truth and then last month I
decided it's time let's make a baby so
again an insurer does get ready and I
saw myself like clockwork go right back
to that old story right back into my
next books coming out at this time and
what's going on with my calendar and can
my team handle this and is everybody on
board with my idea and my vision but
thankfully I've been spending the year
in my five steps of spiritual surrender
so I had a little bit more information
and I was able to stop myself in my
tracks so I stopped myself and I just I
just said Thank You universe for showing
me a sign that I'm in the right
direction
later that day I'm looking out the
window of my office and I see these five
fat wild turkeys just hanging out
outside my office they're just chilling
outside my office and I was in awe of
these wild turkeys is so beautiful it's
sat there for like a half an hour just
staring at them two hours later I'm in
my meditation and I'm just doing my
thing in my meditation and I hear my
intuition say Google the spiritual
meaning of turkeys
okay so I come out of my meditation I go
to my computer and I type in what is the
spiritual meaning of turkeys the
spiritual meaning of turkeys is
fertility that was the exact message
that I needed to hear and when we allow
ourselves to get into the Wonder and the
magnificence of the guidance that is
around us and within us that's when we
truly start living the universe once
again was guiding me so ask for a sign
and you will receive and it is your job
to listen people because you all may be
asking for your signs and you may be
getting your messages but you're not
listening
so ask and listen give yourselves a
chance to truly listen and take that
spiritually aligned action from that
place of that wisdom and the final step
the fifth step is when you think you've
surrendered surrender more my favorite
line from A Course in Miracles is those
who are certain of the outcome can
afford to wait and wait without anxiety
that presence of certainty is available
to all of us when we get aligned when we
truly surrender when we ask and listen
and let the universe show us where to go
and what to do let's say prayer let's
offer it absolute surrender some more
are you willing to pray with me
okay so let's on cross our legs place
your palms facing upward close your eyes
take a deep breath in and release we
call on the guidance of the highest
truth and compassion to enter into this
space today Thank You universe for
taking from us what we are now willing
to give away
that thing that you've been holding on
to that situation that area of your life
that you are willing to offer up and we
pray where would you have me go what
would you have me do what would you have
me say
and to whom Thank You universe for
taking this reorganizing this and
showing us where to go take a deep
breath in and release and when you're
ready open your eyes this is my daily
prayer where would you have me go what
would you have me do what would you have
me say
and to whom this beautiful message from
A Course in Miracles take that home with
you use that prayer offer it up
surrender it fully and completely as it
turns out the universe had a plan far
greater than I did the plan wasn't that
I was going to get pregnant in the exact
moment in time that I expected the plan
was that I was going to learn how to
mother myself before I could be a mother
we are living in times where it is
required of us to have a spiritual
foundation an anchor a sense of
alignment if we don't have that
foundation we will be flailing we need
that connection now and it is through
the steps of spiritual surrender that
you realign with that connection to the
universe to a higher power of your own
understanding we need it to survive and
to thrive and these are the messages
that I will leave my child when my child
is ready to come I will bestow upon her
that her true power lies in her
connection to the universe and in that
connection when she surrenders to that
connection she can know that she will be
certain no matter what the in the midst
of uncertainty she can find safety and
that in that connection and in that
alignment she can always know that the
reverse has her back thank you
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