Today, ballpark concessions
- will have to make some concessions. - Let's talk about that.
( theme music playing )
Good Mythical Morning!
We are swinging for the fences today,
debuting our Sam Hunt predictive text music video
and making a game out of some awful vintage commercials.
But that's later. This is now.
And now is baseball season.
And, lately, stadiums across the country have been vying
for that super Instagrammable wild, wacky concoction
that'll put 'em on the food map.
For instance, the deep fried hot dog stuffed pickle
-
But we thought there were still some dishes
that you should be able to get at the ballgame but you can't.
And that's why it's time for...
( chuckles )
So we're gonna be exclusively using
ingredients that you can get at the ballpark
to make food that you probably cannot find at the ballpark.
- No, you cannot. - Let's get to it.
( music plays )
If you go to a "footie" game in England,
you're gonna get yourself a meat pie.
But you can't get that
- at a ballpark here in America. - Nope.
Turns out we just weren't looking hard enough.
This is the 'Merican Meat Pie.
- Yeah. - All right, first thing you're gonna want to do
is get yourself a hot pretzel.
- Woman: Pretzels! - Oh, yeah, over here.
- Woman: Get your pretzels here. - We need a pretzel.
Woman: Hey, batter, swing. Okay.
- But, uh... we'll take-- - Pretzels?
Yeah, we would like one pretzel.
We do not have any cash, though.
- Or a card. - Uh, okay.
Well, I guess-- I'm not supposed to do transaction scenes,
but, uh, I'll make an exception for you two.
- We'll take this one. - Oh, you're just gonna take it. Okay.
Name's Dottie Hinson, after "A League of Their Own."
Thank you. Thank you, Dottie.
Okay, you're gonna take this.
We're gonna do what we call the rip 'n' dip.
Link, I want you to rip up that pretzel
and just place it right into that beer,
You're gonna get, just, you know, about a third of a glass of beer.
And the you're gonna let this congeal
and sit for a few innings.
And then you're gonna end up--
- yeah, you can skip ahead to that. - Yeah.
This is what's gonna end up happening after a few innings.
You're gonna have this congealed bread.
It looks a little nasty, but, trust us,
this is the beginning of a meat pie.
Now you're gonna take the glove that you brought to catch foul balls.
You've got to have one of those.
Of course. Got it.
Oh, you look so ready to catch.
You're gonna take about half of that
and make the bottom half of the meat pie,
just right here in the webbing here.
Just take it and just flatten it out as flat as you can get it.
- Oh, gosh. - This is better than watching the game.
- Really? You don't like baseball? - Yeah, I love to get my hands
really mushy in a mitt.
( sniffs )
Okay, now, you're going to get
a bratwurst, a chili dog, and a hamburger.
This is gonna be the insides of the meat pie.
You want to take the meat from each one of these things
and begin to chop it up.
So just take that chili dog and start chopping it up.
Again, people are gonna look at you like, "What's that guy doing?"
- But then when... - "He's up to something."
...you break out this meat pie,
they're all gonna be jealous. You just wait.
So just chop that into some very small pieces.
Oh, yeah, give me that-- gimme that burger.
And you can get the ham from the hamburger.
Plastic knife. I'm allowed to use these.
Oh, that's not easy to chop.
But, I mean, again, you got plenty of time
because you're at a baseball game.
Right, there's a lot of breaks.
Now, again, we're gonna fast forward a little bit.
Link, this is what you're gonna end up with at the end of that.
We don't need this.
And I'm going to take some mustard...
Look at that. Magic.
...and just mix some mustard in there.
This is a-- this is a ballpark thing,
so you've got to have some mustard.
And some barbecue sauce,
- because why the heck not? - Yeah.
And then mix all that together.
There's some potential here.
Now, take that, as much as you think
you can fit into your meat pie,
Okay, there it is.
Right there, I'm just gonna--
I'm making you a little meat pie top over here.
Oh, this is beautiful.
- See, look, now... - Smells great.
...smoosh the meat pie top right on that.
And then smoosh it down.
- Yes. - Oh, yeah.
- It's just like a baseball. - That's so much better than a foul ball.
And then, you know what?
I'ma pull this out.
Oh, gosh. It's a little damp.
I think we might just be able to eat it right from the glove.
- Well, true pie-dom is just being able to hold it... - Don't you think?
...and bite it.
Okay, we've achieved pie-dom.
All right, let me take a bite.
Now, you're gonna want to share it with your buddy.
I think your buddy's gonna have to keep it in his hands
while you eat from it.
You don't want to touch it, do you?
Oh, no, I'm excited about this.
Now, don't bite my finger.
I'm not gonna bite your finger.
Are you touching it or are you not touching it?
Mm.
- Oh. - Let me get some of that.
Take me out to the ball game.
- Mm. - Man.
Can I come with?
Wow, so many great flavors...
- Yep, a lot of memories we're gonna make... - ...attacking my mouth.
...eating these meat pies at the ballpark.
I hope this thing goes into extra innings.
( music plays )
Now, of course, baseball is America's pastime,
but we feel like the South is underrepresented
when it comes to their concessions.
That's why we want to infuse the ballpark
with some Southern comfort
with Grandstand Grits 'n' Gravy.
- All right. - To start this off,
- you gotta start with popcorn. - Okay.
Popcorn, here! Get your popcorn!
Uh, we'll take a popcorn.
Aw, cool, man.
- How much is this? - Put it on the tab.
Oh, it's free. I got fired last week. I'm just hanging out.
That is so convenient. Thank you.
And, of course, you've already eaten
your ice cream in your batter's helmet.
So you want to take the popcorn, put it down into that,
and you've got some hot water that you've acquired.
Maybe from making tea, if you're one of those weirdoes
that drinks tea at the ballpark.
So you're gonna pour a little of that in there. Ooh!
And then use your signature, um, bat that you purchased--
Commemorative bat.
Commemorative is the word I was looking for.
Start to mush that up.
And while you do that,
I'm gonna add some coffee creamers.
- There we go. - Oh, beautiful.
All right, so you mush that up,
and that's what's gonna make your grits.
If it starts to set up a little bit,
that's totally fine, 'cause you're gonna use that time
while you're waiting for it to set up
to make your red eye gravy.
Now, red eye gravy starts with some coffee.
You can easily get that at the ballpark,
and you want to add some pork grease,
which is gonna come from your bratwurst.
Now, you're gonna want to drink most of your coffee
and just have a little bit of coffee left.
And then you're gonna want to squeeze the bratwurst.
Ooh, that-- it's warm.
Squeeze that-- squeeze that brat.
Oh, there it is.
- Real nice. - Squeeze some grease.
- And you're also gonna take... - There it goes.
That's pleasant for everybody involved.
- ...some barbecue sauce. - Including the bratwurst.
Oh, gosh, wow. You're really greasing your bratwurst.
Yeah, and then add some barbecue sauce to really mix it up,
and use a coffee stirrer for that.
And if you feel a little self-conscious about
keeping a dried bratwurst around,
you can tip the popcorn guy with it.
Popcorn guy! Popcorn guy!
- There he is. - Popcorn guy.
You know what? I want you to have this squeezed bratwurst.
- Thanks, friend. - Did it just for you, man.
He's always up for anything.
( whispers ) He doesn't work here.
He doesn't work here, so he takes food like that.
Oh, my goodness.
Okay, so we've got the gravy.
- And now... - And now we've got--
...look how this has set up.
Look at them grits, boy!
That's nice, girl!
And then you just add a little bit
of the red eye gravy...
Yeah, girl.
All right-- ooh, nice.
- Okay. - That's good.
You wanna mix it?
Uh, yeah.
Mix it in.
Okay, and then...
Now, of course, these aren't warm.
They're the temperature of however it feels at the ball game,
which makes it a beautiful thing.
Well, the hot water should help,
if it hasn't set too long.
I think it's been out... ( sniffs )
...long enough.
Mm.
It tastes great. Um...
- That sounded so-- - But...
You sounded so unsure of yourself.
The smooshed kernels require some--
some mouth navigation.
It is unusual how--
I never thought you could get
such a gritty grittiness from popcorn.
Mm.
But I like it.
Gimme some more of that.
Fill my helmet again.
And you're not gonna get any weird looks.
( music plays )
Now, baseball's thought of as a summer game,
but it starts in March and ends in October.
There are gonna be some cold games to get through!
So we've decided to create a soup to warm you up.
It's called the Make in your Mouth Beer Cheese soup.
Step one, get yourself one of these beer helmets
- from the gift shop. - Check.
And the you wait for the beer vendor to come by.
Woman: Beer. Got your beer here.
- You got beer here? - Yeah. Hey, boys. You two again?
- Yeah. - Yeah, remember us?
Yeah, of course. They got budget cuts at the ballpark,
so I'm doing this shift, too.
- Okay. - All right, enjoy.
We still don't have money.
- Thank you. - No problem.
- Okay, you're also gonna get yourself... - I'm gonna take this off.
some hot nacho cheese.
Now, this is very important
that we do this at the right time.
Usually for the chips, for the nachos.
You're gonna take the nacho cheese,
you put it in one side.
And then you're gonna take the beer,
and you're gonna put it in the other side.
This can't go well.
Make sure they're properly balanced.
Now, the beer's gonna come a lot faster.
So, Link, what you're gonna do
is take the beer side and cork it.
- Oh, cork it. - With your thumb.
And then you're gonna take the nacho cheese side
- and insert it. - Uh-huh.
- Then you're gonna take-- - I'm nervous!
Put it in your mouth and we're gonna prime
the cheese, okay?
'Cause we want the cheese and the beer
to hit our mouths at the same time
for an amazing experience.
I'm doing it.
Here we go. Suck.
Here it comes.
- Mm-hmm. - Okay, now put the beer end in.
- In the beer. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
And now, three, two, one, suck.
Both: Mm!
Mm-mm.
Did you suddenly forget that you had open beer
and cheese on your head?
Because that's what it looks like.
- No. - You know what?
I'm having an amazing experience over here.
All you gotta do is sip, swish, and swallow.
( music plays )
We gotta get some dessert up in this ballpark,
and while ice cream helmets and lemon freezes are pretty tasty,
we thought it was high time to elevate the sweets
you can get to something like Impromptu Tiramisu.
- Ooh, fancy-sounding. - That layered Italian delicacy.
- It is Italian, right? - Woman: That's correct.
- Oh, good, I knew something. - It's not really a delicacy.
All right, you gotta start off with some churros.
Churros here! Get your churros!
- How convenient. - Hot and fresh churros.
You gotta take 'em quick.
Security is looking for me. It's not good.
All right, so we got some churros here, Rhett.
What you're gonna do is take your coffee-- I have it over here.
And you're gonna want to dip the coffee--
dip it in the coffee to make it soggy,
and then rip off the soggy part
to create the first layer.
So, like, make-- rip that apart
'cause you're gonna want to make
the first layer in the bottom there.
A little bit more. You know, you want some soaked goodness.
Use another empty beer cup to smoosh it down.
On top of that layer, you want to add some ice cream,
which you also have there in that helmet.
Don't get the whipped cream. We're saving that for later.
So just throw in a layer of--
- Oh, you're having some trouble here? - Oh!
- Whipped cream's for later. - Whipped cream for later.
Right now, all we want is the ice cream.
Mm-hmm.
So you're gonna want to take that ice cream
to make another layer.
All right, so you're putting that in there.
And then order a Snickers.
"Excuse me, I would like a Snickers."
Oh, we've already got one.
And then take a little knife
and shave some chocolate on there.
Oh, yeah.
Then you want to repeat this again and again
until you get to the top of the thing.
You're doing a great job, but I've already made one.
Oh, thanks for letting me know.
So, we're gonna magically swap that out.
Boom, there it is. Now add your whipped cream on top.
- And the cherry. - And you've got yourself
some Tirama-swing-batter- batter-batter.
Okay, I'm going deep.
- Taste it, man. - Taste this.
You want to get that churro-chocolaty goodness.
Everything in one bite, no?
- Did I cramp your style a little bit? - A teeny bit.
- Oh, look at that. - I'm used to it.
Chocolate, churro, ice cream.
- Mm. - We finally got something right.
It tastes exactly like tiramisu.
That's weird.
It's very good.
Wow. Man.
It's impromptu, it's tiramisu, and it's good for you.
Uh-huh, now click through to see a brand-new
Sam Hunt music "vide-ooh,"
written completely by predictive textbot, too.
Knock it out of the park
with this "Be Your Mythical Best" baseball t-shirt,
available at mythical.store.