Today’s video is all about why you’re attracted to the wrong men and how to stop
this cycle so that you can attract great guys, the most perfect kind of man for you!
So many women waste their precious time on Mr. Wrong.
I get emails daily from women trying to get a guy to commit to her, and yes, sometimes
there is something that they’re going that is blocking love with that particular man,
it could be insecurity, it could be not giving the man enough space, it could be that she’s
lost connection to herself and she’s trying to be someone she’s not…
BUT most of the time, these women are simply attracted to the wrong man for them and they’re
hooked, so blinded, that they literally feel like they’re going insane trying to get
the wrong man to love her.
Stay with me as I’m about to share how you can change this forever and never invest your
heart with the wrong man ever gain.
But, I warn you, this goes deep and is a must watch if you want to end dating heartache
forever.Hi,I'm Nadine Piat, a dating and lasting attraction coach for smart savvy women and
the founder of Healthy You Healthy love.
Now before we continue, please be sure to comment below and let me know if there's anything
specific that you'd like help with and if there is a topic you’d like me to do a video
on.
I want to find out who you are and what your needs are so I can support you on your path
to united and passionate love!
And if you’re new and haven’t subscribed to my channel yet, please click the subscribe
button and the bell button to get notified of my next video!
Also I’ve created a powerful quiz that’s going to help you to stop dating the wrong
man.
If you suspect that you have some love blocks standing in the way of you getting the man
you want then check out my quiz - it reveals if you’re experiencing one of what I call,
the 4 Romantic Love Syndromes.
If you’re serious about finding the love you want then the link to my eye opening quiz
is below in the description.
Now back to our topic…
Why is it that you’re attracted to a man who’s not loving you and committing to you
with all of his heart?
Well it’s all about Needs and values… and once you truly understand and embrace
this your life will change forever… in every way…
If you want to have the courage to walk away from the wrong guy and get back your sanity
then let’s start with what you truly value in your life and in a romantic relationship.I
want you to take a moment to write down what your non-negotiable values are with men…
If you do this I promise by the end of this video you’ll see how CRITICAL your values
are to finding love.
So the first is knowing 1.
What are values?
They are your guiding compass in life.
When you need to make a decision in life, when you’re feeling conflicted, your values
will help you steer the ship to a path of more joy and more love.
When you honour your values they allow you to live with integrity and harmony and they
will help you to choose great men for you.
Some common key values people have are; honesty, love, kindness, trust, respect, health, humour,
compassion, acceptance, flexibility, communication, passion, adventure, emotional awareness, consistency,
mindfulness, reliability… and so on.
But here’s the clincher, when you see all of these values, most people think, no kidding,
of course I value honesty, of course I value respect etc… but not every person views
these values in exactly the same way, respect can be very subjective, so can humour, and
people can have very different ideas of what love is to them.
So not only do you need to know what you value, you have to know what that this value means
to you and how you can live by them… in fact, this is what having integrity is largely
about… living by and honouring your core values.
So to help you with this what I want you to do is write down all of your core values…
and when you have chosen your top 5 values then you’re ready for this next step 2.
Choose Values over Neediness -- The best love and relationship advice I can give you is
to have a really good look at what you’re needy about with men.
If you’re hooked to a man who’s inconsistent, unreliable and basically unkind to you then
without a shadow of a doubt you’re 100% overlooking your core relationship and life
values.
If you’re needy for love, needy to feel wanted, needy to be seen as loveable, needy
for attention then it’s very difficult to live by your values because you’re looking
outside of yourself for love, for validation.
This is not valuing love.
This is being needy for love… and when we’re needy we tend to override our values and this
is why so many people struggle with love.
Their lack of worth, insecurities and ego are running their life decisions, not their
values.
You see, neediness can show up in all relationships, have you ever had a friend that was maybe
fun to go out with and yet deep down you knew the friendship wasn’t right?
As much as your friend could be fun, you actually didn’t feel that good being around them,
you’d often feel that they were competing with you, maybe they would say things to put
you down… but you hung out with them because you wanted to go out with at least someone
and all of your other friends are coupled up and not able to catch up all that often.
In this situation, you legitimately valued being social and meeting new people, and even
though you knew this was not a healthy friendship you kept spending time with them because you
feared that without them your social life would suffer.
BUT this connection went against your value for kindness, respect, acceptance and emotional
awareness and hence you no longer felt good with this person, and it was no longer fun.
The same thing can happen with dating… and this is why it can feel so terrible to spend
time with a man who doesn’t actually ad real value to your life, because you’re
hooked to him in a needy way.
You value a relationship and love, but your need to feel loved and adored and wanted is
stopping you from walking away and dating men who are more aligned with your values.
If you’re with a man right now who you really like, and maybe when you spend time together
it can be wonderful, and yet most of the time you feel pretty underwhelmed, unfulfilled,
not respected and valued, he’s not treating you with common courtesy, then guess what’s
happening here, you’re living from a place of neediness and not living by your values..
But this isn’t about him.
This is about you.
He’s not a bad guy, he just values different things to you.
This is as simple and as complicated as it gets.Neediness based action is driven by;
fear, insecurity, desperation, lack of worth and ego.
Values based action is driven by; self-love, self-honour, self-trust and courage.
Needs based action = Inner turmoil --Values based action = Inner peace.
Both men and women can get hooked to people that are not great for them and if you’re
feeling miserable in your life and relationships I encourage you to sit down and write down
your values and see if you’re honouring them with your actions and choices in your
life.
And I’ll let you in on a little secret - no man will ever be able to fill your cup, fulfil
your neediness.
When you’re needy there is very little he can do to satisfy this for you.
You need to love you more, honour you more, be kind to you more first…
I know that this can feel scary, I know that when you’re emotionally hooked you legitimately
think you need this guy to feel loved and happy.
I’ve been there, I know what it’s like to be hooked to someone who’s not good for
me.
The best parts of him were so electric and so exciting, and yet he had little to no partnership
and love skills.
He was so unhappy with himself, so deeply pained, that over time I realised that the
best part of him was just a shiny object that I rarely got to see.
It took courage, though the only way for me to feel good about myself was to walk away.
He wasn’t planning on changing any time soon, he tried, though the lies kept coming
and he rarely honoured his commitments.
In the end I began to feel miserable and it started to take its toll on me.
Sure, I loved a few things about him, the shiny objects, but in the end I actually didn’t
like his character, I realised I didn’t really like him all that much.
He wasn’t kind to me and staying with him meant that I was being unkind to me too and
I value kindness - so if I value kindness how can I be with someone who’s unkind to
me?
And again, he wasn’t a bad guy, he was simply a very unhappy guy with an inability to love
himself or anyone.
So there you have it!
Revealed, the internal battle we can have between our needs and values.
Values always trump neediness needs.
If you want a beautiful, safe and sexy relationship, fill up your own needs and live by your values
— they will help you to guide the way to big rockin’ love.
To help you break this down even further my Never Lose Him Program is all about needs
and values and included in this program is a workbook that will help you to break all
of this all down and allow you to live with a deep sense of inner peace and love!
Plus I also share some love techniques that are game changers!
Like the LIPS method, this will help you to attract and keep the best type of man for
you.
The link to Never Lose Him is in the description below.
Now before you go...please comment below and let me know if these points helped you and
resonated with you, and please share any dating tips of your own.
And while you're at it, if you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this channel as this will
allow me to keep creating these videos for you, just hit the subscribe button below this
vidео and thе bell buttоn tо gеt notified of our new videos every week.Of course, if
you have friends who have a habit of investing time in the wrong men then please share this
with them as it might be the very video they need to see get over that block and start
a great relationship with the man they want.
It’s been lovely to have you here with me, I encourage you to choose to show love a little
more in some way every day, and see you again at my next video.