We may make this look easy, but trust us...
It IS!
You still shouldn't try it at home, though!
Hello, and welcome to "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" And also... 2010!
It feels an awful lot like September 18th, 2009, though... Oh, well! I'm your host, Jory Caron.
Riley: (with slurred speech throughout) And I'm drunk!
You ARE certainly drunk!
Riley: Gin! (hiccups)
Jory: That's great... Um, I think for your own good, I'm gonna microwave this.
Riley: Shhh!
Jory: Yeah, you're drunk!
Riley: Mmmm!
*theme song plays*
Jory: It smells like victory!
Jory: All hands to the deck!
Jory: Nobody likes roasted nuts!
Jory: Let's get outta here!
Jory: Ventilation is key!
Jon: What're you doing?! Put that out!
Jory: Stopping, stopping!
Jory: The masks- they do nothing!
Riley: The tin foil shield- it actually worked!
Jon: Does it still work?
Jory: You're dumb!
Jory and Riley: 2.6!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Happy New Year! Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Laboratory, safety is one of those things that we thought about when we were drunk one time, but we didn't write it down, so we didn't remember.
And that's why we hide behind this giant tin foil shield. It's to protect our nuts, because nobody...
Riley: Why are you so loud?! Shhh!
Jon: (to Riley) You're still hungover from New Year's?
Riley: I'm still tipsy... (mutters)
This was donated by Geoffrey Jones, and you... Yeah...
Riley: Drunk again!
*champagne cork pops; liquid pours into glass*
We've got these fans, to circulate the air, and... Oh! What's this?
Riley: Who cares?
Jon: OH!
It's a nice, little microwave right here! Oh, ooh!
Jon: Very beautiful! Brand new for 2010!
Her name? Zelda!
Jon: Also donated by Geoffrey Jones!
Isn't that interesting? First, and first...
Jon: That was actually a coincidence. He did donate two things, but...
Yeah, but, I mean, you may be thinking, "Oh, the other microwave didn't really die." It DID die, and it kinda sucked!
Jory: Let's just put that right in there!
Riley: (groans) Oh, my head!
Jon: Put it in there for 20:10, pal!
Riley: (groans) So loud!
Jon: Two-thousand-and-ten!
Jon: Get outta there, chief! Hey, guys, what were your New Year's resolutions for 2010?
Jory: I wanna lose some weight... Or gain some weight! I can't remember!
Jon: It's one of the two!
Jory: My New Year's resolution is to remember what I...
Riley: What your New Year's resolution was?
Jory: What I was trying to resolve, yeah! Somethin' like that!
Jon: MY New Year's resolution is to get to 200,000 subscribers!
Jon: So, what do you think's happening to the gin right now?
Jory: Well, glass and ceramics- microwaves pass through. So, it's heating the liquid inside. There's probably a space of air.
Jory: It's building up pressure inside the bottle. The question is whether the pressure will blow off the cap or break the bottle first.
Jory: It's screwed on tight enough where it could not unscrew the cap, so it would actually have to break through the metal or break the glass. So, the question is: Which will give first?
Jon: This sounds dangerous, dude!
Jory: The cap or the glass bottle? That's the question.
Jon: I fear for my life AGAIN!
Jory: Yeah...
Jon: I definitely see a change in the atmosphere, though. Something is liquifying... We're not gonna have an explosive release. It looks like it's a slow, a gas almost.
Jon: It looks like the gin has been...
Jory: Well, the thing that would boil off first would be the alcohol, so if it's boiling off the alcohol and the gas is able to escape...
Jon: Oh! Do you see that?
Jory: What?
Jon: Water droplets on the side of the gin bottle! Like it was, like...
*gin explodes*
Jon: WHOA!
Jory: It blew the cap off first! Let's stop the microwave.
Jon: Yeah, let's do that!
Jon: Wow! Zelda's still goin', it looks like, though!
Jory: That scared the [beep] outta me!
Jon: Whoo, boy! Luckily our door didn't break... Again!
Jory and Riley: It smells like gin in here!
Jon: There you go! There's the cap of the gin bottle.
Jon: (to Jory) Don't tip it over! I think it's still filled with all the liquid. Is it?
Jory: Uh, no! There's absolutely no liquid in there.
Jon: Wow! It just evaporated... Where did it go?!
Jory: It vaporized it and just shot it!
Jon: Do you guys see, like, a giant puddle of liquid in any one spot?
Jon: Alright, so let me get this straight- the bottle of gin completely vaporized! Where did the gin go?
Riley: Can't you smell it? Just smell it- we'll get drunk instantly!
Jory: That one actually cleaned itself out!
Jon: Well, if you have an alcoholic in the family and you want them to stop drinking, that's the best way to get rid of their alcohol! Just vaporize it instantly!
Jon: They'll be, like, "Where'd my gin go?!" "Well, no trace of it left here, Pops!"
Riley: I have no idea!
Jory: (in silly voice) I didn't drink it!
Jon: I didn't drink it!
So, you may be wondering, is it a good idea to microwave a bottle of gin? Absolutely! I mean, we just had an awesome show! You're gonna wanna do it outside!
We just had an awesome show, it blew up, and there was literally, like, no mess! In fact, I reckon that, because it put water everywhere, it just cleaned the microwave.
Jon: Yeah, and plus, now, everyone can get drunk instead of hoarding it for yourself!
Jory: Instead of your mom getting drunk and trying to clean the house, you can put the gin in there, she doesn't have to get drunk, and it will just clean the house!
Jon: Yeah!
Jory: So, that's about it for this episode of "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron. And Happy New Year!
Riley: Have a great New Year!
Jory: What is your New Year's resolution?
Riley: Two-zero-one-zero!
Louder! Do it again!
Riley: Twenty-ten-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten!
Wow! That's MY New Year's resolution right there- never to witness that again!
*end credits play*
Jon: She's red and beautiful!
Jory: Her name is Rose!
Jon: It's "Zelda"!
Jory: Oh, [beep] me!
Jon: Why is the gin bottle at an angle?
Jory: The microwave is slanted a little bit.
Jon: Oh, that's cool. Just like China people!
Riley: That's, um...
Jory: That's pretty racist! I'm just sayin', Chinese New Year, they would...
Jon: Hey! Chinese women have sideways vaginas! Disagree or agree?
Riley: Disagree!
Jory: Disagree!
Jon: Alright! We know who's racist, then! (lowers voice) That would be ME!
*Jory and Riley laugh*
Jon: Can't use this footage! (laughs)
Riley: DVD, DVD!
Jory: (to ESPN theme) DVD, DVD!
Jon: The all-new "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" season 7 DVD! Now, with 29% more racism!