Actually after Kevin Tsai’s Way of Speaking
I feel that if you want to meet every one’s expectation
You would eventually feel tired one day
Ask anyone
About the period in life that he or she wants to go back to
I bet many would fail to answer
Now people seem to get used to
The unawareness and ignorance of themselves
So I want to write a book to offer solutions to the problem
What’s high emotional intelligence in a real sense
Traditionally we think a person with high level of EQ
Tends to ignore his or her own feelings
To please others by upsetting himself or herself
It sounds like a madam running a night club in Ginza, Tokyo
Or a hooker
If a person smiles all the time
You would feel he or she is horrible and hypocritical
It’s not what a high-EQ person should be at all
So first of all you need to feel comfortable about yourself
In the entertainment circle, who has the highest level of EQ
I don’t think it’s Chiling Lin
She is in a traditional sense
She’s always smiling and nice to people
You might be surprised by my answer
I’d say Jay Chou
No matter when he decided to get married or have a baby
Or become a director besides being a musician
He’s been exploring what he wants step by step
And he succeeded
He also has emotions
But you don’t feel offended when he expresses his emotions
Which is a manifestation of high EQ
I think Chiling is just the opposite of Jay
They are good examples
Of our 2 definitions of high EQ
In workplace, what will you do if your boss insults you
I’m insulted by my boss
I really want to die
That’s too exaggerated
Although I’m insulted in front of others, I get my salary
So it’s okay
This is the correct thinking
I mean people with high level of EQ make assessments
What’s its meaning to me
For example the job means money to me
As long as I get paid
I reach my goal
And my emotions disappear
If someone works for dignity
I would be surprised
We need to figure out what’s the most important to us
In each period and phase of life
How to be high-EQ but also not lose myself on social media
Yesterday Sun Li updated a moment
Her son Dengdeng asked her
“You don’t blame sister no matter what she does”
“But you would do that to me”
“Why? Am I your enemy?”
Sun Li laughed and said
“Where did you learn the word “enemy”, you little kid?”
It’s a funny dialogue
We’re watching her children growing up in such interactions
Together with her
So social media is a stage for interpersonal relationships
Not a place to face yourself
I don’t express my feelings on social media
Because I think they would trouble others
If I post “AN UPSETTING DAY” in large capitals
All the friends would be forced
To ask “what’s wrong”
It’s disturbing
I think social media is the showcase of your life
You put a model of yourself that you want others to see in the showcase
My only suggestion is that don’t spend too much time and effort on it
Because the most important thing is to face yourself
But not that showcase
What behaviors of modern people do you think are not done for themselves
If you live your whole life confusedly
And don’t even know what you want to do at the retirement age
You just want your children to live as you wish
That they need to earn how much money each month
Who they should marry
So parents work really hard to buy a house for their children
And make their children feel “I have to prepare a house for my children too”
What is this? Is it a house game?
If you are not brave enough to explore yourself
You would be trapped in such a miserable cycle
You lost your life of 30 or even 40 years to this house
To something you might feel unnecessary in the end
Do we need to forget what should do or should not do before being ourselves
I think many “should-do” and “should-not-do” are all other’s views
You can never finish the “should-do” list by others
You have to refuse and ignore some of the items
Eileen Chang once said “Try to be famous as early as possible”
But did she achieve that in her own life
Dee Hsu has short hair and her elder sister Barbie Hsu has long hair
Someone told her, “You would never get a shampoo advertisement”
She gets it anyway
If you blindly believe that the “should-do” exists, then it seems to exist
But once you don’t, it disappears
Exploring oneself is both interesting and tiring
It’s way more important to figure out who you are
Than to hang out with friends
We human have limited strength and attention
We have to focus on what we care about the most
Will writing become your focus in the future
Writing should have been my focus
So I want to try fantasy stories next
I think in the Chinese literature world there’s a large space for fantasy
Creating another world is a wonderful thing