President Obama: There’s a vicious rumor floating around that I think could really
hurt Mitt Romney.
I heard he passed universal health care when he was governor of Massachusetts.
(Laughter.)
Someone should get to the bottom of that.
And I know just the guy to do it -– Donald Trump is here tonight!
(Laughter and applause.)
Now, I know that he’s taken some flak lately, but no one is happier, no one is prouder to
put this birth certificate matter to rest than the Donald.
(Laughter.)
And that’s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter –- like,
did we fake the moon landing?
(Laughter.)
What really happened in Roswell?
(Laughter.)
And where are Biggie and Tupac?
(Laughter and applause.)
But all kidding aside, obviously, we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience.
(Laughter.)
For example — no, seriously, just recently, in an episode of Celebrity Apprentice — (laughter)
— at the steakhouse, the men’s cooking team cooking did not impress the judges from
Omaha Steaks.
And there was a lot of blame to go around.
But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership.
And so ultimately, you didn’t blame Lil’ Jon or Meatloaf.
(Laughter.)
You fired Gary Busey.
(Laughter.)
And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night.
(Laughter and applause.)
Well handled, sir.
(Laughter.)
Well handled.
Say what you will about Mr. Trump, he certainly would bring some change to the White House.
Let’s see what we’ve got up there.
(Laughter.)
(Screens show “Trump White House Resort and Casino.”)