You have a coworker who is trying to boss you around,
make you look bad in front of your boss
and other co workers and maybe even trying
to sabotage you at work.
This is something that has been coming up so much lately
among my friends, my clients and even
my career besties in the comments,
and we need to talk about it.
Because insecure coworkers who act out and
even try to sabotage you are going to come up
over the course of your career.
We'll start off talking about some of the tactics that you can use.
But really what we're going to get into is how to
make that toxic coworker completely irrelevant.
Get a tea and grab a notebook, because today,
I'm going to give you a few prompts
and tap the like button so we can jump straight into it.
First things first, you need to assess the situation,
Which workplace villain are you dealing with?
And I have a whole video that digs into that,
that you can watch after this one.
But even more important than who you're dealing with?
Who's aware of the situation?
Do other people see it?
And do they see it as a problem?
So for example, has this been obvious to your boss,
and they've made remarks about it before,
maybe it's been a whole conversation.
And remember that if your Boston was abandoned,
a whole bunch might be going on behind the scenes
that you're not going to really know about,
like, maybe they're on a performance improvement plan,
or they've gotten a written warning about it.
But know that if it's a known issue, it's a known issue.
Next we need to audit influence.
What influence does this insecure toxic coworker have?
Do they have the ear of your boss's boss's boss,
or like we just talked about,
Does everyone see right through it?
I also need you to consider your level of influence here
on this is a really important one because so many people
that I talk to when we're in the step where we're assessing situation,
you are the one who is the known top performer,
you're known for being easy to work with
being great at your job.
And even as being an emerging leader on your team.
The point of assessing the situation is to know
the dynamics that are at play because
they are going to have an impact in how you proceed next,
and that is to bring your personal brand into the rescue.
And this is one of the reasons why I talk about personal brand
so much because your personal brand isn't just
about getting a new job or becoming an industry influencer,
your personal brand is what's going to protect you
when you're in a situation where your boss or
a coworker is sabotaging you at work.
If you're just thinking about it now that you're in the situation,
I can assure you, your toxic coworker has gotten a head start
One of the things that comes up with these coworkers
that are trying to sabotage you throwing you under the bus,
they're often trying to take credit for your work,
whether it's stealing an idea or
sticking claim in work that you did that they
had absolutely nothing to do with.
This toxic coworker is a credit snatcher.
And what's the easiest and most foolproof way to
get around this to be known for doing the work that you do.
When you are known for being exceptional at
the things that you do, it makes your work obvious.
And when your name is written all over it,
I mean, not literally all over it...
But when it's really obvious that you're the one who's contributing,
they're not going to be able to take credit for it.
Now if you don't know what you should be known for
the first place do make sure to go and
grab my free UAQ Starter Kit. It's gonna help you figure it out.
My next question this space is who is in your
network of advocates who's going to speak up for you
in the rooms that you're not in
to give you credit for your work
to call that toxic coworker out on their BS,
and otherwise speak for you.
You need to be really clear who these people are.
And you need to make sure that you're regularly
communicating receipts to them so they know exactly
how they can advocate for you. And really,
when we look at the situation,
I have seen instances where that toxic coworker had
this awesome network of advocates, and influential people,
the boss, the boss's boss, the boss's boss's boss, all on their side.
And if that's the situation you're in, again,
they have the upper hand. So you need to ask yourself,
what is your relationship with those people?
Which people of power and influence do you
have the relationship with that can safeguard you from
your toxic coworker BS. Now in the next phase,
we're going to go a little bit deeper in
an attempt to neutralize the situation.
Now when we look at those toxic coworkers,
who are trying to take credit for your work,
make you look bad,
and are maybe even trying to get you fired.
We need to acknowledge the place that they're
acting from: fear insecurity and unworthiness. In fact,
if you're like most of my career besties,
your awesomeness and your potential
is triggering the eff outta them,
and that's why they're acting out against you.
Unfortunately, they're operating at that level of disempowerment,
where they only know to drag other people down
to their level to try to make themselves feel better.
Only it never works, which is why the cycle continues.
So ask yourself Is there a way for you to lift them up
so that they feel better about themselves so they feel
more valid and more worthy?
Now whenever I say this, people in the comments
get really mad at me,
"I'm not going to suck up to them!!!"
This isn't about sucking up. This is about authentically
and organically giving them compliments,
giving them praise or validating the work that
they're doing so that they feel better because
some times this is going to be the thing that is going to
turn that adversary into one of your biggest advocates.
Now, of course, it's not always going to work,
you're going to try it out and see what happens.
If it doesn't help the situation.
Or if it makes a situation worse, you're going to stop doing that.
In fact, I'm going to make a rule right now:
You're not allowed to share your vibe with anyone who
insists on draining it down.
That sad, you need to remember that people are watching.
So in these interactions that you have this
coworker who's trying to sabotage you,
trying to tear you down, do not be the jerk in the situation
under any circumstance. Because when you're not
the toxic employee and the situation,
your boss is more likely to deal with you,
instead of them to say that they're addressing the situation.
I'm not saying it's right.
And I'm not saying that it's fair.
What I am saying is is that their expectations of
that toxic coworker are really, really, really low
on the expectations of how you are based on your
awesome self are much, much higher.
Real quick, I need to interrupt the usual broadcast.
Now before we get into shifting your whole vibe
in this toxic coworker situation, I need to
shamelessly plug my AMA Wednesday over on Instagram
(and well my Instagram in general).
Honestly, up until recently, I really didn't like Instagram.
But lately, I've been feeling it.
So I'm going to be creating more content and
more snippets of the really important things for my video,
I've been running this really fun AMA every single week.
And honestly, it has become my favorite part of the week.
So I would love to see you over there.
I'll leave the link in the description bar below.
Okay, back to the usual program.
Now we know that these annoying situations with
coworkers are going to arise, this isn't the only coworker
doing this that you're going to encounter across your career.
There's a lot of insecure people out there,
which is why and the next step, you're going to get curious.
Now I told you I was going to give you prompts.
So make sure that you get that notepad handy.
The first question,
and I want you to answer this really honestly,
do you care about them?
Like beyond the intrinsic, they're human?
You don't want anything bad to happen,
like we're not being mean about it.
But just genuinely, do you actually care about them?
Would you be bothered if they were not in
your life because they went to another job?
If you're like most of the people that I speak with
the answer is probably not.
Which leads us to the second question,
then why does what they do matter?
Especially in the situations where your boss and their boss
totally see the situation, everyone knows that this
is a difficult coworker, no one really likes them.
Why is this actually bothering you?
Because the truth is that if you didn't have any fear,
or you didn't have any insecurity surrounding these things,
you probably wouldn't be bothered at all.
So we have to ask, why is it bothering you?
When you have a high level of confidence at work,
have a high sense of self worth,
and know how lucky the team and the company
is to have you there, you become uneffwithable.
And honestly, if I can help you create just one thing
in your career and in your life, that is exactly
what I want to help you create.
So you can expect more topics on this theme coming out
if you need them, subscribe to make sure that you
don't miss them when I release them. Now this next step,
when you're dealing with a difficult coworker who was
trying to throw you under a bus trying to get you in
trouble trying to bring you down is to protect your vibes.
Here's the thing about working with negative people,
and in negative work environments,
they can wreck your vibes and throw you off your game.
This is why when you're dealing with someone like this,
you always feel like you have to be on the defensive and
you have to be preparing and you need to be showing people
what they are and all of that kind of stuff.
But really, it's way more impactful if you j
ust protect your vibes and continue on being awesome.
So how can you protect your vibes?
Keep them high, even when you're dealing with
a difficult coworker like that? First,
minimize contact as much as possible.
That one is really obvious.
And you're probably naturally doing that one already.
And if you're not, what are you waiting for?
Another thing that a lot of people I've worked with
have found very helpful is to have a pre and post ritual
when they know they're going to have to interact
with this person. Like for example,
they know that they're meeting with his toxic difficult coworker.
And as the first step here,
what I really recommend is to find a ritual for
yourself when you are interacting with this person
and they say something dumb, take a deep breath,
smile and remind yourself that their attack on you is
a reminder to everyone around how awesome you are.
Now both before and after the interaction.
You want to find ways to re energize yourself. I
t can be very draining dealing with these toxic coworkers.
But how do you do that?
Start by answering this question:
What makes you feel energized, confident and unstoppable?
When are you at your best?
Maybe it's listening to music
slapping on some red lipstick or
having an affirmation that makes you feel great
like I am awesome AF!
Figure out that mood lifting ritual and use it
and then this brings us to the most important step
and this applies if you're dealing with a difficult coworker,
a toxic coworker you're in a toxic work environment
keep being awesome.
Again, the bad news is this difficult coworker type
is everywhere the good news is none of them need
to be relevant control what you can control in your career
and in your work situation, control your focus,
control your impact and control your personal brand
and most importantly,
stop making the workplace villain the main character of your career.
In fact, you need to start centering yourself
and your potential to day go and watch this video now
to get started but before you go,
if this video helped you give it a thumbs up
it really helps my channel
makes you my favorite career bestie
it's a win win situation.
As always, my friend thank you so much for watching.
I will see you in the next video.
Bye for now.