TALK ABOUT, LET'S GET STARTED.
AS YOU KNOW TOMORROW IS VALENTINE'S DAY.
EVERYONE EXCITED?
YES?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) BUT I UNDERSTAND YOUR EXCITEMENT
BECAUSE ACCORDING TO A NEW POLL VALENTINE'S DAY IS AMERICA'S
FAVORITE HOLIDAY BEATING EVEN CHRISTMAS.
YEAH.
(LAUGHTER) WHICH IS AMAZING BECAUSE IT
ISN'T A [BLEEP] HOLIDAY.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
YOU HONESTLY, I'M TELLING YOU, YOU AMERICANS HAVE GOT TO STOP
WITH THESE MADE UP FAKE HOLIDAYS.
(LAUGHTER) WHERE DOES THIS END?
WHAT IS NEXT, WE'RE ALL GOING TO BUY EACH OTHER GIFTS FOR ARBOR
DAY?
I MEAN COME ON.
LET'S JUST LET IT BE A DAY.
I LIKE VALENTINE'S DAY, I DO.
WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE.
THERE IS CANDY, THERE IS CHOCOLATE, THAT IS THERE BIG
HOLE INSIDE OF YOU YOU TRY TO FILL WITH CANDY AND CHOCOLATES.
SCRAL ENTIEN'S DAY OR AS A LOT OF COUPLES CALL IT, ARE YOU SURE
YOU DON'T WANT TO DO SOMETHING THIS YEAR, HONEY, NO, I'M
TOTALLY SURE, OKAY, WE WON'T.
WHY AREN'T WE DOING ANYTHING.
YOU CLEARLY DON'T LOVE ME DAY!
YOU KNOW HOW I SAID OTHER COUPLES AND NOT ME AND MY WIFE.
(LAUGHTER) HERE'S HOW MUCH AMERICANS LOVE
THIS MADE UP HOLIDAY.
ACCORDING TO ESTIMATE THIS YEAR AMERICANS ARE EXPECTED TO SPEND
AN AVERAGE OF $200 PER PERSON ON VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS.
AND THEY WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD PASS THAT
INFORMATION ON TO THEIR PARTNERS.
PEOPLE PLAN TO SPEND $200 ON GIFTS THIS YEAR.
HERE'S HOW IT BREAKS DOWN.
$5 ON A GIFT, AND THE REST ON SAME DAY SHIPPING.
(LAUGHTER) IT'S TODAY, OH MY GOD.
NOW VALENTINE'S DAY IS HARD FOR SOME PEOPLE.
AND IF YOU ARE DREADED TOMORROW BECAUSE YOU HAVE RECENTLY BROKE
UP WITH SOMEONE, DON'T WORRY, A ZOO IN TEXAS HAS YOU COVERED,
RIGHT.
THEY SAID THEY WILL NAME A COCKROACH AFTER YOUR EX AND FOR
A SMALL DONATION THEY WILL FEED IT TO A ZOO ANIMAL ON
VALENTINE'S DAY.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) IT IS JUST A BIT OF FUN.
LISTEN, IF YOUR ANSWER TO A BAD BREAKUP IS COCKROACH SACRIFICE,
I'M STARTING TO SEE WHY YOUR EX LEFT YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.
A ZOO WILL WRITE YOUR EX'S NAME ON A COCKROACH AND FEED IT TO AN
ANIMAL.
NOT TO BE OUTDONE A NEARBY AQUARIUM WILL ALSO MAKE A
SPECIAL DEDICATION IF YOUR EX GAVE YOU CRABS.
DON'T CLAP, DON'T YOU DARE, STOP, NO, NO.
NO.
YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THAT.
WE'RE NOT, YOU ARE.
AND IF YOUR TRUE LOVE, IF YOU AND YOUR TRUE LOVE ARE STILL
LOOKING FOR DINNER PLANS TOMORROW NIGHT, ONE RESTAURANT
CHAIN HAS RECENTLY BECOME QUITE THE ROMANTIC HOT SPOT.
THIS IS TRUE.
THIS 24 HOUR ROADSIDE CHAIN WAFFLE HOUSE IS NOW ACCEPTING
RESERVATIONS FOR VALENTINE'S DAY.
AND THEY'RE EVEN OFFERING A SPECIAL MENU FOR THE OCCASION.
YEAH, YOU'VE HEARD OF RESTAURANTS HAVING A BLUE PLATE
SPECIAL.
THIS IS MORE OF A RED FLAG SPECIAL.
(LAUGHTER) AND THIS IS NICE.
FOR AN EXTRA $5 YOU CAN GO BEHIND THE WAFFLE HOUSE TO
SELECT A COCKROACH TO FEED TO.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) WAFFLE HOUSE IS OFFERING A
SPECIAL MENU WHERE YOU CAN GET A ROMANTIC VALENTINE'S DAY MEAL
FOR TWO INCLUDING THIS STACK OF PANCAKES THAT SAY GIRL, YOU CAN
DO BETTER.