I love when your out, and you see somebody randomly,
and the first thought that runs through your mind when you see them is:
"We would have the most adorable babies."
I start liking a girl,
I keep it air tight.
I don't let her meet none of my guy friends.
ZERO
I'll be chillin with a girl,
"Aaron is soo cut-
does he have a girlfriend?"
Look, look, mira, mira, HELLOO
Aaron didnt take you out,
and spent 80 dollars on you,
at cheesecake factory.
Right here. ME.
This is just how my life works.
There's always, a plot twist.
So I get invited to a YouTube event, and the first thing I always do when I get an invite is I checked the list
to see who else is gonna be there.
So I'm scrollin, scrollin, scrollin...
and I see this one girl...
Let's just say that it's... Brittany's Choice...
Andrea Choice's sister...
Its not really Brittany's Choice...
even though...
me and her would have...
sexy supermodel babies together...
But its not her.
These YouTube events are usually three days long.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
And each night,
There's a party.
First day ends, I'm waiting by the shuttle to go over to this party,
I turn around,
there go Brittany and her homegirl.
"Listen,
we haven't met...
I mess with you on YouTube...
I like your stuff...
nice to meet you."
So we start chitchattin,
shuttle comes we're chitchattin some more,
get to the party,
we get on the dance floor,
me, her, and her homegirl we're dancing.
I'm going Channing Tatum
on both of these girls at the same time.
Giving them a preview of Magic Mike part 12 ;)
Party starts winding down,
Brittany goes, "Hey, so, what are you doing later?".
"Mmkay, well it's, 2 AM,
what yooou finna go do?"
"Well I am about to go back to my room and freshen up,
I'll text you in like, 20 minutes,
so maybe we can hang out some more."
*Laughs*
Word?
So I give her my number and I'm like, "Aight,
text me when your ready to link."
I'm in my room exfoliating my lips,
I'm like, singing and dancing im the mirror.
"LEMME GET THAT TOOT, TOOT
LEMME GET THAT BEEP, BEEP"
*humming and beatboxing "Ignition" lol*
"DANG SON, WHERE'D YOU FIND THIS?"
Okay, I re-up on my colognay (cologne lol)
*spraying sound effects*
I'm looking
CRRRRISP
An hour goes by,
I don't hear NOTHIN.
Next day, same
I don't see her all day.
Day three, the last day of the convention comes along,
I still dont see her!
As I'm bout to leave,
My boy DeStorm comes up to me,
and he's like "SWOOOZIE!
SWOOZIE MAH BOI!"
"So yesterday, i walk into this restaurant,
and this girl waves at me like:
"Oh my god, hiiiiiii!"
"And I'm like who the- who is this?
So I walk over cuz this girl was bad."
"It's so good to see you!"
"And when I got close I was like: Oh, I recognize who she was from her YouTube.
And I'm like:
'shoot, its good to see you too!'
and then shes like:
"Oh my god, sit down, sit down oh mah gah-
I'm soo sorry for not hitting you up last night,
I went back to my room and fell asleep."
"And at that point, I knew she didn't know who i was.
So then, she starts touching my leg and feeling me up, like,
she's all over me in the middle of this restaurant, she's like:"
"So how you doin today!?!"
"And I'm like:
Pshhhh,
I'm good!"
"Well I'm pretty much done for the day, I finished up all my panels and all my Meet & Greets."
"Well you wanna come back to my room?"
"We go back to my room and we makeout for like, an HOUR!
So at that point I started feeling a little bad,
so then I was like:"
"Ay, uh, who do you- who do you think I am?"
"Uh, your Swoozie."
"I'm not Swoozie, I'm DeStorm."
"Oh my GAHHHHHH!
OH MY GAH I'M SO SORRY!"
Anyways, now Brittany has a boyfriend...
*sniffs*
It's okay. It's fine. No it- it's cool.
*sniffs again lol*
Hopefully I get a lot of Adsense off of this video.
Needless to say, any of these YouTube events I go to if I start feeling a girl I'm always just like, see, ME,
DESTORM
ME
DESTORM
Somebody just sent me,
my Meet & Greet line
footage.
Like, this is some Disney ride type stuff here.
*music*