Chicken Pig Attack
you know why you are here!
do you understand the consequences?
[muffled protesting, screech of fearsome swine]
who are you?
I have a delivery
delivery of what??
justice
[laughter]
[chicken cluck]
sorry, old man
but I'm afraid now you've seen too much
ha! it is you who will soon wish to unsee this moment
[ancient yodel of of reckoning
now begins the fight of a lifetime
we can end it all and end it right
two warriors challenge you
they came ready to fight
oh, chicken and a pig
bacon and eggs
they're not here to play
chicken and a pig, bacon and eggs
you're on their plate today
six legs! two wings!
and one ass-whooping
COCK ON A SWINE
(cock on a swine)
FRIENDS FOR ALL TIME
(for all time)
SWINE WITH A COCK
(swine with a cock)
THEY CAN NEVER BE STOPPED
there is no escape
from justice
nowhere to hide
from your fate
you may want forgiveness
I'd say yes but for them it's too late
oh, chicken and a pig
bacon and eggs
they're not here to play
chicken and a pig, bacon and eggs
you're on their plate today
six legs! two wings!
and one ass-whooping!
COCK ON A SWIIIIIIIIIINE
(cock on a swine)
FRIENDS FOR ALL TIIIIIIIIME
(for all time)
SWINE WITH A CAHHHHHHHCK
(swine with a cock)
THEY CAN NEVER BE STAHHHHHPPED
they look so cute and cuddly
you might expect a kiss
but if you're on their bad side
you'll only get
their iron fists
[distant drums of reckoning]
your path has led you down the road of evil
but I would like to offer you another way
evil is...
relative.
you...
more than anyone, should know...
in order to make an omelette
it is required that you break eggs.
if you join me
I can make you a wealthy man.
you can own all the chickens and pigs you desire.
I don't own them! These are my friends!
[handshake routine of friendship]
CAHHHHCK ON A SWIIIIIIINE
(cock on a swine)
FRIENDS FOR ALL TIIIIIIIIME
(for all time)
SWINE WITH A CAHHHHHHCK
(swine with a cock)
THEY CAN NEVER BE STAHHHHHHPPED
Takeo-san! Takeo-san!
[sprinting, heavy breathing, sound of beasts and insects at dusk]
ever since you disappeared after saving my brother––
[powerful yodel reverberating across the land]
in English.
whoa...ever since you saved my brother, I've been lookin all over the world for you.
I would love to learn your ways.
you think I can teach you anything?
I was just defeated by my own indulgent secret handshake.
However, I'm looking for an intern.
You can order pizza for me
and answer my emails.
You must be tired from your travels.
You sure you don't wanna see my résumé?
Let's see it.
[ripping of paper]
I hope you don't mind the risk of danger!
No, not at all––I have low self-esteem, so I actually wouldn't mind being harmed
Good. Your first lesson will be about th etime I underestimated the local mafia...
Chicken Pig Attack
next week! will Takeo meet his doom?
or will a small furry warrior come to the rescue?
find out here on Schmoyoho
accent on the Yodel-ay-hee-hoo
that's Schmoyodel-ay-hee-hoo-ho
now have a great day and a great life!
and don't forget to hug a chicken today!
CAHHHHHHHHCK ON A SWIIIII