- How red does my eye look?
It's not too bad.
I'm having an allergy attack man.
A viewer commented the other day
and said, "Frank, yesterday I turned 20,
"any advice you can give me?"
You know, I think I do have a few things
that I wish I could go back
and tell myself when I was 20,
things that I wish I had known.
Take it from me, a random guy on the internet,
these are the six things
that I think someone who is turning 20,
or who's graduating from college,
who's in your early 20s, embarking on the world
as a young adult, this is what you should know.
Number one, floss your teeth.
Really specific, huh?
Well, it occurs to me
that a lot of people neglect their teeth
in their teenage years.
You're not gonna get away with it much longer,
so start flossing your teeth
because there is nothing that makes you realize
that you are decaying
and will one day die faster
than your teeth starting to decay.
And that's what teeth do,
so do everything you can to preserve them.
Number two, in your early 20s
you're probably going to have maybe your first,
or second, serious romantic relationship.
What you need to realize is you're really young
and you don't know anything.
Don't let romantic relationships get
in the way of your life
and you becoming you.
Because, I know at the time,
when you're in your early twenties,
it seems like you know a lot,
and it might also seem
like this relationship is really important,
and you're willing to make sacrifices for it,
but you don't really know that much.
There are exceptions.
Like my brother, he married his high school sweetheart
when he was 23 and they're happy.
So this isn't like a rule
but I know from my own experience...
(mellow music)
(chuckling)
I know.
Don't take relationships like their life and death,
when you're that young, you've got time,
don't feel the pressure.
Number three, don't spend your money on stupid stuff
but don't be afraid to invest your money in yourself.
If you're like most people
you're not gonna have a ton o' money in your early 20s.
You're gonna be just starting out in the world.
And I know a lot of people who, in the early 20s,
for some reason, had very fine taste, very expensive taste,
and they blew a lotta money on stuff they didn't need.
This is not good.
You should be saving in your 20s,
you should be trying to keep luxury expenses to a minimum.
Now, on the other hand, don't be afraid to take your money
and invest it in yourself.
There is inherent risk in that, but don't be afraid.
For instance, let's say you wanna make some money
as a photographer,
you wanna get into wedding photography, family portraiture.
You're gonna have to make an investment, and get a camera,
and some lenses, and it's not cheap,
but don't be afraid to make that leap
if you think that it's something that you really wanna do,
and that you can make the money back on it.
It's not stupid if you're doing it
because you think that you can get some benefit out of it.
Don't be afraid to take that risk
and invest the money in yourself.
But think about it, don't just jump in
without thinking about it.
Here's a good tip.
If anything costs more than like $50,
don't buy it until you've had time to think about it
for like 48 hours.
Number four, schooling.
I don't know if you are in school, if you just graduated,
or if you decided not to go to college,
but once you graduate from college,
you have perhaps thought about going to graduate school.
And let me tell you something.
As someone who has gone to graduate school,
I am not so sure that it is worth it.
But there are circumstances, let me explain.
I would say graduate school is worth it
if you are getting a free ride,
or if you really want to teach as your profession,
or if you need a master's degree to get the job
that you want.
If one of those three don't apply,
like if you're gonna have to go into debt,
but it's just kind of like this leisure thing you're doing,
it's not worth it.
Number five.
This might be controversial but, alcohol.
If you're turning 20 next year in America,
when you turn 21, you'll be able to drink
and I know lots of other places in the world,
the drinking age is lower.
To be quite honest with you,
there is really no upside to alcohol
and if you haven't started drinking,
this is going to be a very unpopular opinion,
but don't start.
Why bother, why add that to your life?
As someone who does drink,
I am constantly thinking
about when am I gonna have to drop this
because it's probably gonna happen eventually,
and if I had just never started drinking
then it wouldn't be a thing.
I wish that I could be the kinda guy
who was like a connoisseur of fine wine,
and maybe one day I'll get to that point,
where drinking to me,
is just like this highbrow thing
where I can taste,
(smooth jazz music)
(moans) I taste black currant, and plum,
and the finish is so smooth.
But right now, I'm just sorta like, mmm, tastes like wine!
Alcohol is just a big time-waster, and money-waster,
and energy-waster, and ambition-waster.
Like I say, it's not gonna be a popular opinion
but if you haven't started drinking, don't start,
it's not worth it.
Don't start any drugs.
Okay, and number six, the final one.
And really quickly, this point, it got me thinking so much
that I actually made my next podcast episode
about this, at length
so check out the link in the description
to my third podcast episode called "The Cult of the Dream."
The thing is, when you are 20,
when you are just starting your life in the real world,
people, they're going to tell you
you need to find your dream, find your passion,
and follow it, and then life will be okay.
This is kind of like a lie that society is giving you,
because not everyone has a dream.
They make it seem like if they think long enough,
if you think long and hard enough, all of a sudden,
there will be this dream that comes to you,
this thing that you absolutely need to follow,
and you're gonna be driven so hard
to accomplish this dream man,
and it's gotta be a big dream too,
it can't be a small dream, it's gotta be a big one.
You've gotta be like the very best, like no one ever was.
And the thing is, there are some people in the world
who had a dream since they were five years old,
and they know exactly what they wanna do,
and they can go after it, and they're driven, and focused,
Those people are not everyone.
I think those people are kind of rare, actually.
And so the rest of us are stuck thinking,
"Well what the crap, I don't know what to do with my life.
"Why don't I have my dream?
"Is something wrong with me, what's going on?"
This passive idea of a dream coming to you,
and you just follow it, there's no work involved,
is so stupid, it's such a lie.
Most of the rest of us, what we need to do
instead of following a dream, instead of finding a dream
that's out there for us, like there's something hidden
that we need to just uncover,
and it'll be clear what we need to do in our life,
instead, what you need to do
is create a vision for your life,
and it doesn't have to be big and grandiose.
I think it's always good to think big,
but you can start off kinda small.
"What do I envision my life is like this time next year?
"All right, let me go after that."
And it doesn't have to be the answer,
just create a vision and go after it.
The great thing, is you can correct the vision
once you get closer to it
and you're like, "Ah, this isn't quite right,"
or, "Oh I think, actually, it's this other thing now."
Revise and reshape your vision
based on what you've learned so far,
and it's okay to do that.
When you have a dream the problem
is that it's this big thing that you've become attached to
and it's like you can't change it.
"No, this is my dream.
"My dream is to be a singer like Susan Boyle
"and I have to do it man.
"I can't revise it, it's gotta happen
"just like it happened to her.
"I've gotta be on that stage
"and Simon Cowell's gotta start crying."
(dramatic music)
Was it even Simon Cowell
in the audience then; I don't know.
Give up this idea of some dream out there
that's gonna come to you in a vision,
like some kind of acid-induced hallucination,
I don't know why my mind went there,
and just think to yourself,
"I get to choose what I wanna do,
"and I'm gonna figure it out,
"and I'm just gonna start by going one step at a time.
"I don't need to have a huge grand vision."
I mean, it's good, at a certain point, to get a big vision,
and figure out the long-term,
but for now, you're 20, you've got time to waste.
Me, I'm nearing death,
I don't have time to waste (chuckles).
You, you've got plenty of it.
Don't worry about wasting time,
just go after your vision.
To those of you who aren't 20,
go after your vision too.
Even if you're like 60, 70 years old, you've got time.
Create a vision for ourself and go after it.
Don't sit around waiting for the dream.
"What am I supposed to do God?
"Please tell me."
You've gotta figure it out.
For that last point, extrapolated into greater detail,
please check out my podcast.
I hope you get a laugh out of it,
I think it turned out pretty well.
All right, so there's my advice to those of you
who just turned 20, who are in your early 20s,
who're graduating from college.
Let me know in the comments
if any of you old-timers out there
have any advice for 20-year-olds.
What advice do you wish that you had been given
when you were that age?
If you like the video, give it a like.
If you haven't subscribed yet to my channel,
I would love it if you hit that subscribe button,
and that notification bell
because YouTube is screwed up,
and you won't know I posted a video unless you hit the bell.
Thanks so much for watching
and until next time, stay cool and attractive.
(easy listening music)