by the way these are actual letters sent to us by uh actual viewers uh just like yourselves at
home there so here we go and by the way perhaps tonight is the night we read one of your letters
you know what i'm saying it seems highly unlikely think about it cause look we're only reading four
what are the chances we're reading your lousy letter tonight huh damn near non-existent
i'm just jerking your chain relax here we go letter number one dear dave i was wondering if
you and paul ever had a fight in the middle of a show uh cole carney called carney
uh the question is if paul and i and paul and i have known each
other 20 years if we ever had a fight in the middle of a show
i think i'd have to say uh the answer is no we haven't had a fight although you know i'll
tell you what recently i did have kind of an ugly episode with one of our stage managers
biff henderson gosh it went something like this biff and i were for some reason
biff don't say a word you were supposed to be home two hours ago dinner is ice cold
look what i found on your shirt lipstick stains on your collar i have one question for you biff
who is she she's my wife dave
daddy why is that crazy man in our house again
we didn't think it was funny we thought it was important you knew
wow he uh he wow okay letter number
in handy how about your grammar skills are they still coming to andy pal this is from james malone
down there in houston texas and james is referring there was a period in my life when i was actually
a tv weatherman i'm not i'm not proud of it but i was i was a tv weatherman
and i knew you know like this l dingo i know nothing about that i know but the only thing i do
remember is how you know how to work the clicker so we got a clicker hooked up here you know
you've seen your dweeby local weather guy operate the clicker and it goes like this let me see
okay that should be what do we have oh that's the national map see you can see some kind of a you
got a high there you got a trough you got another big orange deal going there oh look look down in
the southeast you have lightning look at the size of that bolt of lightning nearly the size of the
state of mississippi oh my god that's lightning that's king-sized lightning okay let's see take
another one this is your five-day forecast friday today 53 and sunny saw and then you do it one
more time what is that oh that's luck that's al roker let me just try it again there's oh
hey if that was me it'd take like six sons and jupiter
you know what i'm saying paul you know what i'm saying you know what
you know hey hey hey you know what i'm driving at i hear you okay okay
we didn't think it was funny we thought it was something you should know
just like rehearsal in here only quieter dear dave uh letter number three our friend here in
sweden says he saw you on an episode of mork and mindy is he mad stefan alhag and simon sonjin boy
getting some interesting names some unusual names not seeing the stefan alhag and simon
c joden from uh from sweden and uh the question is was i uh ever on an uh episode of mork and
mindy that you know believe it or not boys uh back in the late 70s i did appear on the
swedish version of mork and mindy i played the the wacky next door neighbor lars here take a look
oh no thank you but i will have some of this swedish jell-o though
not noon
yeah
they're lonely out here on the prairie don't it okay it gets lonely out here on a prairie
i think you folks would be happy to have a place to get out of that damn storm
okay here we go let number four uh dear dave i'm sure you get a lot of requests like this but i
was wondering if you would consider letting me propose to my girlfriend on your show oh
uh the young man's name is a carson don from denver colorado this is a great letter and
whenever we get a little something like this we we try you know if we can to play along
and we thought it was so cute we called the man up we invited him to come to new york city to
just do that very thing propose to his girlfriend ladies and gentlemen please welcome the excited
young man and be kind because understandably he's a little nervous here's carson dunn carson
okay
well you must be you must be scared a little bit yeah okay i'm gonna stay out of this you
go right ahead there's the camera do whatever you need to do carson good luck buddy okay uh diane
we've been dating for nearly five years now and
i don't think i'm shocking you when i say that you mean the world to me um so let me just say it
diane will you marry me oh that's great isn't that great huh
that's great good for you thank you thank you very much wow
the phone is ringing we're done i wonder well i bet that's her you think so yeah yeah
yeah did you give her the number of the studio all my friends have it yeah really yeah
okay there you go see if that's her
uh hello yeah hi hey diane oh it is sir hi are you watching yeah okay well well what do you think
okay yeah yeah dave is here yeah um sure well she wants to talk to you oh thank you very much
hi hi diane how you doing uh-huh did you pick out his tie
it's lovely what can i do for you no i'm not married no
it's a lovely offer but i'm sorry i couldn't really now paul is actually married and has a
daughter how old's your little girl well that's why four and a half four and a half years old
let me ask him alan diane wants to know if you're married uh dave i'm gay oh okay
i'm sorry diane he's alan is gay
yeah he's right here there you go she wants to talk to you again hello hello really
she said yes i said yes i love you i'm coming home i'll be home soon
i'm getting married much you're a lucky man she's like a wonderful girl
well what do you think paul time to close the belt back
oh yeah it's been time for quite a while now ladies and gentlemen because we have
that ugly old storm blowing up the coast we have to close up the cbs mailbags