Hello and Welcome to The Show!
It is finally done, 2021 is finally in the books, and we are here today to celebrate the personalities of the year that was, with the very first, annual Sham Sharma Show Awards
Who will win this shiny digital trophy?
This year, many wonderful people have achieved many wonderful feats, and we will do our best to recognize these wonderful people
Our first award the Burnol award for the biggest burn, brought to you by Burnol and co-sponsored by Everest ka Tikhalal
There have been some great burn moments in 2021, and the nominees are
Dalit Diva for being so angry at Brahmins that she confused Agarwal as a Brahmin
Priyanka Chaturvedi for the meltdown after being expelled from Parliament
And the winner is: the great man: Kashi Vishwanath Bhai
who went from Kolkata all the way to Kashi Vishwanath temple to give this amazing reaction
Just like Elon Musk can single-handedly manipulate stock prices, For raising burnol stock singlehandedly, there can only be one winner for the sheer depth of his feelings
Our next award is the Randy Rona Orton(outta nowhere) award, sponsored by Johnson and Johnson no more tears
For excellence in Randy Rona. For those people who have been able to create a situation of Randy Rona for no reason at all
I would have nominated myself but What use do I have of a shampoo?
Our nominees are
Nidhi Razdan: For reigniting a situation after it had been put to bed and forgotten about, and blaming the scam, which was committed by foreigners on Hindu nationalists - Out of nowhere
Swara Bhaskar: For Dragging Hindus and RSS when talking about an Islamic terror attack - Outta nowhere
As if she doesn’t do monkey balancing, the monkey mafia who killed 250 dogs will get her.
And Jaya Bachchan was apparently triggered when someone amongst the RS members questioned her about the summon sent to her daughter-in-law in the Panama Papers leak case
She is giving curses. If her curses were successful, would Rekha be living such a good life right now?
Winner is: Swara Bhaskar
She has Kunal Kamra rabies virus. Just like he cannot do any comedy without Modiji, Swara ji cannot condemn terrorism without shaming Hindus. Show her star wars and she might start calling Darth Vader RSS affiliated
Makes you want to say: Swara Bas-kar
Our next award is the Sabka Saath Sabka Vikaas, Sabka U-Turn award for excellence in u-turns, sponsored by Modiji and His u-turn on the Farm Laws
Our first nominee is: Manish Sisodia who went from University instead of Ram Mandir advocate
To straight Ram Bhakt
Second is: Punjab’s Rahul Gandhi, Navjot Singh Sidhu
and our winner is our very own Munawwar Faruqui
who keep quitting comedy and rejoining it
He is the Duggal Sahab of comedy
It seems he has decided there is more money to be made in playing victim than doing comedy.
He might leave comedy when Rahul Gandhi become PM or Salman gets married, for this sacrifice we can only salute him
Our Next award is the Distorian of the year award presented by Romila Thapar and Irfan habib, for the true macaulayPutras
Our first nominee is Sonia Sikka from the Dismantling Global Hindutva for saying there is no such trying as Hinduism
Our second nominee is Javed Akhtar for comparing Shah Jahan to Obama
But this isn’t enough to win the award: to win, you have to be truly dedicated. Yeah you can defend Shah Jahan, but can you defend Aurangzeb
and so the Winner is Audrey Chuski), whose love for Aurangzeb is unmatched
was willing to destroy the legacy of Shivaji
That she is even willing to take a low rating from her students to defend Aurangzeb
part of the greatest couples in history - Heer Ranjha, laila majnu and Audrey-Aurangzeb
Our next category is Humpe Ye Kisne hara Rang Daala Award Sponsored By madhuri Dixit,for excellence in secularism
Our first nominee is obviously the funniest man on the planet, vir Das. If you don't think he is funny you are a Sanghi
He is being nominated for proving to the world that terrorism has nothing to do with Islam but gangr*pe is Hindu
Very deserving
Our other nominee is FabIndia, who believe that Diwali is a great festival but the stench of casteist religion Hinduism must be removed from it,
so they did what anyone would have done with Diwali, remove Bindi and change the name to Jashn-e-Riwaaz
nominated for Dhong-e-secularism’s fizool-e-bakchodi
But there can be only one winner, and that winner is: Shiv Sena
for a complete makeover. They went from From being a party of Shivaji and Hindutva to celebrating Tipu Jayanti, teaming up with AIMIM in Amravati
and having bigger photo of Sonia on poster than Bal Thackeray.
To have people we have seen people get naked, this is just changing colour from saffron to green
Looking forward to them declaring Shiv Sena to be too communal and changing their name to Jaish-e-Sonia
Congratulation to Shiv Sena
our next award is the narendra Modi best press conference award is obviously Dedicated to Modiji and his press conferences
Anyway, the nominees are
First is obviously Christiano Ronaldo who tanked Coke stock with his press conference
Swara Bhaskar with her clear understanding of problems that India is facing
And of course our winner: Taliban
being so much better than India. Being much more fit to rule than Modi because they at least do press conferences
Their press conference was so good that Indians forgot about Danish Siddiqui
Overnight, they forgot about the fact that their women’s development ministry has no women
The power of press conferences!
And finallyy, the Bilkis Dadi Lifetime achievement award in activism
YoYa for being the grandfather of Indian activism.
Gandhi only campaigned for Indian independence and Dalit rights
but you look at the things that Yogendra Yadav has been involved in and I can say with certainty that this is the most accomplished activist in Indian history
Prashant Bhushan knew that it would take something special to beat YoYa so he opposed what noone opposed: masks and vaccines
Even twitter had to add a disclaimer against his tweets
And Of course our winner, Tikait
who started his protests to deal with farm laws, but has now after YoYa’s crown: protesting against privatization of banks and for free tractors
I’m hearing that till Swara Bhaskar doesn’t get a role in Hollywood he will not leave
and till Dhruv Rathee doesn’t make a dogs vs monkeys scientific video, he will not stop