oh [ __ ] hey guys welcome to a new video
okay so january 30th that means there's a couple weigh-ins i need to show you guys still doing 100
days of weighing in so it is currently 107. i just got out of the shower i woke up at noon
which is so late for me even my girlfriend woke up at like 11 that is so late for her because
she usually wakes up like 7am sometimes a little bit before that i usually i'm gonna be honest if
we have to do an average here i'm up at like nine every morning we've all slept in for sure
and this is the dress i wear when i'm just like not in the mood to give any [ __ ] about anything
it's just like one of them like laid backs laid backs what i'm laid back type of dresses
i don't know what i'm talking about half the time so in this video i want to show you guys
what i eat when i'm off track because i actively woke up today because it is sunday
and i said you know what the lord is telling me to eat what i want and it's his day today
you know i'm just doing the lord's work out here but it's like
every day now i just feel scared that i'm gonna die because my weight because it's like i know
i'm gonna die because of my weight so uh yeah i'm just actively making the choice like i'm not on
track today like it's sunday tomorrow's monday i'm gonna get back on track like will i be continuing
weight watchers or doing something else like i have been in the 490s forever it feels like
and it's just like my body won't let me lose more weight i know it sounds like oh my god why are we
like listening to a 500 pound girl talk about this like she knows what she's talking about
unfortunately i do people are always talking about like self-sabotage like addicts do it and
food addicts do it and people who binge eat and i'm just like how does one sabotage themselves
without realizing it but like they're also doing it on purpose like i don't understand i nearly
do more research on self-sabotage because i just don't get it it's like i know i'll be okay if i
don't binge but it's just like it takes so much out of you like so much energy to not do it and
because it is what it is i have these days a lot off a camera as you guys know i'm having
a hard time losing weight currently and sticking to a plan so i wanted to show you guys a bit like
okay so this is what i eat when i just don't fully care at the moment i'm actually in a really good
mood today i woke up like totes happy like if i go to bed happy my ass is waking up happy if i go to
bedside you're gonna see me waking up with tears already dripping down my eyeballs i wake up and
i do great throughout the day like amazing once night hits it's as if i'm a completely different
person that's not normal if you're on a weight loss journey and like you're off track today or
you've been off track in the last week or you have a plan to be on track do not let this video and do
not let the things i'm saying derail you from wanting a cheat day if you will or a day where
you're not counting calories or points or carbs our bodies are not meant to be robots it seems
like i'm being a little bit of a hypocrite at the moment but it's very important that if you are at
a healthy weight to count calories or figure out what it is that you need to do to lose weight but
you have to be realistic and you have to know that you are you are going to allow yourself
to have days where you don't actively worry about every single thing you put into your mouth because
sometimes it gets like into an unhealthy head space i don't want to be skinny because skinny
isn't always healthy because girl you probably do deserve that cheat day you probably do deserve
that freaking three pieces of cheesy pizza do i deserve it no is it still gonna happen
yes it is so okay so i had a chocolate peanut butter yaso is the first thing and then i ordered
this like open face turkey cheesy onion sandwich some like cheesy and steaky fries it's pretty
tasty um then i got some starbucks this is just a chai tea and i got some other mandolin cakes
which is one of my faves and i was craving a chocolate chip cookie oh my god this sounds
so good right now okay you guys so the next thing i'm having if i ever say that i'm off
a track it's it's probably because i either had one of these i plan on having one of these
i'm kind of obsessed i get the uh blue coconut with the cherry the anemic in me says hell to
the s so that is what i'm having hey i'm a mukbang channel and i've gained 125 pounds
sorry i was thirsty okay guys so my tongue is blue
that's from the slushie but i ordered arby's i got a large diet coke so large curly fry
that's good so good i got a mac and cheese that's a stir before eating
okay oh look how cheesy okay do as they say stir before eating
so juicy last thing i got is a crispy fish burger sandwich who knows what wow so it looks like it's
just tartar sauce the fish some lettuce looks good smells good let's dive into it shall we
10 out of 10 recommend i was stuffing my face and i felt literally stick to my stomach i was so full
and you know what i did i kept eating i kept eating and i couldn't stop something i don't do
is i never eat the calories i've burnt i like to celebrate the calories i've burnt but i'll
never eat them back because i feel like it was pointless that i invert them to begin with
if i sit there and eat the calories that i just burnt from walking or
dancing or something um i don't show calories but i figured maybe it'd be a good idea if i did
because i think this is educational for me i don't think i ever realized like how many
calories i was eating i would like it to be known that not every day i am off track is like this are
there days like this yes of course but this off track day was just insanely bad in total
i ate 5 121 calories i'm shocked i'm appalled like i literally am disgusted with myself
i have an eating disorder so i'm not gonna blame it on a character flaw or because
i'm disgusting i know what the comments say trust me eating disorders are a very real thing and
food addictions are a very real thing and it's unfortunate that i am suffering so i do hope
that you guys enjoy this video i've had quite a few people asking for a day where i'm just like
completely off track and this is it but yeah so i'll see you guys in the next video bye let's
take it slow where you go i go to and if you hit the bottom i'm going down with you let's take it
you know you'll have a good time
like we're gonna drown but we both know how to swim no worries as well now let's take it slow