Marcus Aurelius was a fearless ruler who bore trials and tribulations throughout his
life with a quiet strength. His brave exploits against the Germans and Parthians helped him
to become one of the greatest Roman emperors but it was his philosophical mind that truly set him
apart from the rest. In the modern world, history remembers him more for his collection of thoughts,
The Meditations, than his rule over Ancient Rome. But that isn’t the most obscure fact about him.
Welcome back to Nutty History. Today, we’ll be taking a look at Marcus Aurelius, and all
the facts that made this guy something of a wise weirdo. Let's get started!
Marcus Aurelius may have been born with a silver spoon but that doesn’t mean he
had a charmed childhood. His father passed away when he was only three and his mother…
well lets just say she pulled off an antiquity equivalent of going out to get milk
and never coming back. Poor rich boy grew up in the care of nursemaids. His mother Lucilla never
even bothered to check on little Marcus until quite later. This wasn’t out of the ordinary,
Roman mothers weren’t exactly the motherly type but leaving the kid to live alone with
just servants was still harsh enough to cause abandonment issues. Maybe that’s why Marcus
idolized his deceased father so much. Crazily, that wasn’t the end of Marcus’s family issues.
When Marcus grew up to his pre-teen years, his caretakers sent him to live with his grandparents
because he needed a father-figure in his life. Fortunately, Marcus became fond of
his ol’ granpappy almost instantly but this story doesn’t have a happy ending. After
his grandmother passed away, his grandpa took a mistress, and her and Marcus DID NOT get along.
Though generally Marcus was a pretty polite dude, something about this woman rubbed him
in such a wrong way, that he couldn’t get out of the house fast enough after she moved in.
Like hipsters of the modern times, Marcus too was very eager to set himself apart from the elite
demographic of Roman society. Being homeschooled by his eccentric teachers, for the lack of
a better word, the rich boy turned out a bit weird for his time. His philosophical teachers,
especially Diogentus had Marcus learn about stoicism and cynicism and all of a sudden one
of the wealthiest kids in entire Rome was shunning his fancy togas for rough, worn-out clothing and
started sleeping on the floor. In short, Marcus Aurellius perhaps invented hipster culture.
When his mother got a wind of it, Marcus argued that real philosophers do not need beds to sleep.
He probably had a picture of Aristotle on his vision board, though he really liked him better
before he went mainstream. Such a Hipster! Eventually, Marcus’s mother had to beg him to
start sleeping in a bed again. It was bad enough that her son was so eccentric—but all of a sudden,
he became really important really fast. A weird kid was now a weird emperor! But given the long
line of recent weird emperors he was about to join, at least he was weird in a good way!
Interestingly this nerd of a Roman elite was never supposed to be the emperor of
the Roman Empire until he ended up marrying his foster sister. Hold on,
this tale will spin your head like a top! Marcus definitely belonged to a rich and powerful family,
but there were many, many other similarly young, rich, and important kids who had a far better
shot at becoming the emperor. However, Emperor Hadrian had a sudden hemorrhage in 136 AD and
barely survived. Yes the same Hadrian who built the wall in northern England that inspired George
RR Martin to write a series of books that became your favorite TV Show. Hadrian’s first choice for
his successor was Lucius Ceionius Commodus, this absolutely horrified the general public of Rome.
Lucius was old, sickly, and frail and was perhaps going to die before Hadrian.
Rome was terrified of the thought that if both men die in a relatively short amount of time,
who would rule Rome? But Hadrian was trying to play 4D Chess here. The reason why he chose an old
cryptkeeper as his successor was because Marcus was betrothed to Lucius’s daughter but was still
too young to be an emperor. Hadrian thought by making Commodus the next emperor he was securing
the succession to Marcus for when he would grow old enough to rule. Unfortunately, as expected
Lucius kicked the bucket before Hadrian, and the plan went down the drain. Hadrian on his deathbed
quickly devised a new plan. He made Antoninus Pius his new heir on the condition that Antonius
will not only adopt little Marcus, but also marry the kid with his daughter. And that’s how Marcus
ended up marrying his foster sister, but he got the throne so it was totally worth it? Right?
Remember how Marcus just stone-cold dumped Lucius’s daughter to marry his foster sister,
who was also his cousin Faustina, daughter of Antonius Pius? Well, life has a funny way to get
you back for your actions. Though Marcus Aurelius fathered 13 children with Faustina, their married
life was nothing but a trainwreck. While Marcus Aurelius was famously stern and reserved, Faustina
didn’t share his enthusiasm for stoicism. She was a bit of a wild child, and one vice possessed her
more than any else, Lust. You could say that a Philosopher King wasn’t exactly the most exciting
partner for her, because she allegedly had an appetite and fancied sleeping around… a lot.
This was the Roman Empire so obviously she had no shortage of options. And of course, this is why
Faustina enjoyed one particular Roman tradition a little too much, ancient Rome’s version of Fleet
Week. Rome’s finest legionaries, navy men, and gladiators would parade through the streets in
their finest gear—and no one enjoyed the display more than Aurelius’s wife Faustina. She would
use the occasion to scout out new lovers. But mind you, this attitude of Faustina was more
of an effect rather than the cause of their rocky marriage life. Their problems began with Domitia.
Domitia was Marcus and Faustina’s first daughter who was born quite soon after their wedding.
The first of a whopping 13 children, Domitia was a sickly child from the very beginning,
and she barely clung to life for her first years. Almost immediately after she was born, Faustina
became pregnant again, this time giving birth to twin boys. The couple rejoiced, but they were even
more sickly than their first. The twins didn’t survive long, and while grieving them, Domitia
just got worse and worse. Instead of ruling his empire, Marcus spent day and night by the side of
Domitia’s bed hoping and praying for her health to improve. But sadly, his doting and healers’
medicine wasn’t enough to save her as she passed away at the age of three. This loss changed Marcus
forever and hardened him, but fate tested him more and more as only one son and four daughters out of
13 children would outlive him and these surviving descendants would not end up making him proud.
Ever see the movie Gladiator? With the cartoonishly evil and crazy emperor played by the
brilliant Joaquin Phoenix? Yep, that’s Commodus, the sole surviving heir of Marcus Aurelius.
Though the movie was fictional, Commodus was quite close to his real counterpart. During his own
reign, Commodus also saw the end of the Pax Romana - an era of relative peace that defined the first
two centuries of the Roman empire. Marcus Aurelius did co-rule with Commodus for several years before
Commodus became full emperor. Perhaps Marcus was hoping some of his wisdom and self-restraint would
rub off on his son. But unfortunately, Commodus didn’t have much of his father in him…He’d
go on to be one of the most bloodthirsty, arrogant, and hated emperors in Rome’s history.
Marcus’s fondness with stoicism put him at odds with being the emperor of Rome. That’s like being
a prominent atheist and then being named pope. He was actually worried about this when he was
pronounced emperor. His first worry was about moving to a palace. You’ll remember he was in
the habit of sleeping on the floor. But he consoled himself, and is recorded as saying,
“Where life is possible, then it is possible to live the right life. Life is possible in a palace,
so it is possible to live the right life in a palace.” And Marcus did, indeed,
find a way to blend his power and philosophy into a weirdly successful smoothie. Interestingly,
Marcus Aurelius didn’t rule Rome alone at first. He had a co-emperor:
Lucius Verus. Now, if you think that Roman emperors don’t tend to be the “sharing” type,
you’d be right. Though both of them were emperors, Marcus Aurelius technically had a little bit more
power than Lucius Verus. He also happened to be smarter, calmer, and all-around less
nuts than Verus. While Marcus was pretty good at his job despite being not very fond of it,
Verus was the exact opposite. Marcus managed to keep Rome stable, managed to expand its borders,
and didn’t make half the empire despise him. To be honest, given Roman emperors’ overall track
record, that’s about as good as it gets. Verus was a total screw-up in contrast and hated to be
working in Marcus’s shadow but for all his schemes and plots, he couldn’t manage to get out of it.
Marcus Aurelius may have been a philosopher, but he was also a philoso-force to be reckoned with.
When the Parthian Empire to the east gave him trouble, he squashed them like they were negative
thoughts in a Stoic’s well-balanced mind. He fought raiding Germanic forces, though he wasn’t
so decisive with them - eventually they would become quite a problem for Rome. In the end,
Marcus Aurelius was deified, and remembered throughout history as one of Rome’s best emperors,
and a true Philosopher King. In his lifetime, he was seen as wise, admirable,
and a nice break from all the crazy ones. That’s right, we’re looking at you again, Caligula.
However, Marcus Aurelius wasn’t a perfect ruler. The oppression of Christians worsened under his
reign. His military campaigns were successful in his time, but not ultimately definitive.
And he left an heir who would inflict lasting damage on the empire and end the Pax Romana.
What did you find most surprising about Marcus Aurelius? Let us know in the comments below.
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