it's time to have a serious talk specifically talk about being taken
seriously in this video I want to share a new approach to deciding on what you
want to do - setting goals - taking direction which will help increase the
chances that people take you seriously now this video is not just for enfps and
infps but my hunch is will ring particularly true for my fellow NFPs
who sometimes have a lot of ideas and not a lot of action I first filmed a
version of this video for my dreamers community but decided hey I want to
share this with the whole world so here I am refilling it for you here on
YouTube now the first thing you have to start doing differently is to commit
first then plan and talk with others so often we think out loud we brainstorm we
want to get feedback on something maybe we think of a business we could do and
we're like hey hey Chris what do you think about this and then you know we
share it with someone or even worse we're kind of committed like we actually
want to do it but we're seeking someone to validate the concept so we're sharing
it with the random people in the lineup at Starbucks and assuming that their
feedback will somehow tell us if we should do this business that is terrible
in so so many ways first the feedback you're going to get is terrible it's not
going to be aligned with getting you to your goal and it's going to kill all
your excitement so if you do finally decide to do this thing you're probably
not going to be nearly as excited or committed to it as if you commit first
here's the difference when you commit first you think through what it is you
really want to do you write things down you get it on paper here is what I would
love to do I'm going to use an easy example here with the keto diet I know
some people apparently hate it but oh well so approach number one you hear
this guy Dan on YouTube talking about the keto diet and you think hey that
actually the things he talked about mental clarity and weight loss and
energy that would really help me and you're like yeah we'll see and then you
go into work and you bring it up to everyone and you're like I was thinking
about maybe this keto thing and then you get 10 different
opinion someone whose sister did it and suddenly fell off a cliff and someone
else who had a great experience and someone who read an article about it was
actually both the Atkins diet which is quite a bit different but they got
confused with it and now they're telling you about the keto diet by the way that
happens all the time like most people I talked to tell me about how they went on
the keto diet but they're describing the Atkins diet which is a totally different
thing anyhow by the time you're done you were very confused you have very mixed
emotions about it and so you maybe try out the keto diet for a week you know
that's what most people will get you to write let's say hey just try it out for
a week and see how you feel here's the other approach is you go to a good
source of information you find something you want to do and you realize hey I
really want to try this keto diet and you write down why you want to do it
what benefits that would have for you why you're excited about it and what
committing to it would look like for you so say you say three months I'm gonna
try this diet three months see how it affects me and then reevaluate then you
go into work and you say guys I'm on the keto diet I'm doing it for three months
does anyone have any tips to succeed has does anyone know anyone who's done this
diet and has been really happy and can offer me advice so here's the big
difference there in one case you present people with a possibility and when you
share it with them people naturally want to give advice so they're going to give
advice based on whether or not you should do the diet right if you tell
them you're going to do this people tend to give you advice based on how to do it
successfully and if they don't naturally do that you can nudge them in that
direction right if you're starting a business it's very different to say to
someone hey I'm thinking about starting a business or I'm trying this thing then
saying yeah I'm this is my business I'm moving forward I have a two-year plan do
you have any advice you've worked for yourself before can you help me on this
part of my plan or do you have any success tips that will get you very very
different feedback this happens for a few reasons one is just the linguistic
part of it the way you word it will bring out different answers than people
right how you ask a question will determine the type of answer you get but
the other thing that I found and I found this across the board is when I'm really
committed to something and people see that people don't want to be a hater
they don't want to bring you down they will look for ways to support you and
often be really impressed and inspired at the big steps you're taking in many
cases and this is probably very true if you're an ENFP
you may be the leader in your group of trying new things of taking risks and
people sort of let you go out and see how you do right so if you're saying hey
guys I'm gonna start this keto diet people will say okay like let's see how
this works I've converted probably twelve people to this diet that I've
just met randomly and started talking to and then they're like oh that sounds
really good but they never would have went out and tried this on their own
let's say right so when you're really committed to something people get
excited about it and want to support you when you're on the fence and you say to
them hey I'm thinking about doing this then they want to test you they want to
see wait are you really committed are you serious and they also want to pick
it apart because they want to see for themselves - if you say you're gonna
start a business maybe they've thought about starting a business and if you're
not sure then all their doubts they're gonna bring them up and ask you well
what about this what about taxes how do you figure out the corporation what if
you run out of money what about bla bla bla bla bla
that's what people do but it's not their fault it is your fault for how you
present yourself and the level of commitment you go in with now this stage
especially if you're in ENFP you might be thinking but I need to brainstorm I
need feedback I need to chat with people that's how I think hey I'm the same I
think out loud I have some of my best concept come through conversation so all
you do is you differentiate those you say to be well hey like I'm just
brainstorming or I'm thinking out loud this isn't something serious what would
you think about that or hey wouldn't that be cool and you think that through
you don't say hey I'm probably gonna do this or I'm thinking of doing this and
you separate those two things into brainstorming thinking about pondering
and committed - and I'm going to make this happen if you start
to do this and be careful with how you use your words you'll start to be taken
more seriously people will respect you when you really commit to something and
when you're just playing around and brainstorming and thinking of things
that would be cool they'll know that hey they shouldn't take this seriously and
engage with you in a different capacity now the last part of this is setting
timeframes this is so so important if you want to be taken seriously but also
you actually want to achieve some things and get results you need to set longer
time frames for how long you stick to something I'm gonna go back to the keto
diet and really when I started filming this video I was thinking about business
and starting something for yourself and I will link to a free training I have on
that at the end of this video as well but the keto diet in this case is such
an easy example because I have so much experience meeting people as I've been
traveling I went back home to Canada and I was seeing old friends and people I
know from business and so many people apparently it's become quite a thing in
North America told me yeah I tried that diet and then I'd asked them about it
and they try for like two weeks or like a week and be like I don't really feel
that good the first thing you read in any proper literature about the diet is
the first month sucks and you're tired and drained as your body switches how it
processes food so you have to go in like when I started it I committed for
multiple months I basically committed that I go indefinitely on it but I
committed at least for three months where I would know okay I'm gonna get
through that tough part and the same thing happens with business people go in
with this I'm gonna try it out for a few weeks you're never going to get anywhere
trying something out for a few weeks if you want to try out a business try out
first off get rid of that language from your vocabulary if you want to create an
amazing business for yourself go in thinking I will be stubborn like Rocky
Balboa stubborn no quit no excuses for at least one year then I will consult
with two to three coaches wise friends mentors people with business experience
to reassess if I am on track if I should quit
if I'm cut out for this but if you jump into working for yourself with the
attitude of every day I'll reassess like I'll just try it and on Tuesday if I
feel like it's not working maybe I'll not start this business or
maybe I'll start a different business or maybe I'll go back and get a job you're
gonna fail there's no ifs ands or buts about it
there is no autobiography you'll ever read of a successful entrepreneur actor
artist writer who was like hey I'm gonna try this and every day I'm gonna
re-evaluate and think maybe and then when I tell people what I do I'm gonna
be like yeah I'm kind of trying this entrepreneur side hustle thing and
seeing how it goes I challenge you to find a single story like that so to sum
it up number one commit to your outcome before you get started number two commit
to a time frame where you will pursue without reevaluating your goal and
number three when you share this with other people
choose your words very carefully and ask for their input on how to achieve your
goal not whether or not your goal or outcome makes sense I mentioned a free
business training that I will link to here I'll have that pop up as a card and
link it in the description below as well this training is for you if you'd like
to build a time and location independent business now this does not mean you want
to go travel the world and be a crazy person like I have it may just mean that
you want to be able to work from home on your own schedule but it's primarily
around coaching freelancing and other service businesses and one of the topics
I address in the training is about commitment and staying on track and how
do you deal with self-doubt and focus and being unsure of where to start if
there's multiple things you want to do so I'll link to that training I
encourage you to check it out if you are new to the channel my name is Dan this
is dreams around the world and I publish new videos each and every week so
consider hitting the subscribe button and the bell and I'll catch you in the
next video soon ciao
you