Let me tell you some things I like about you.
I think that you're so funny.
And I think--
And you-- it's so easy with your eyes
to just switch from being funny to being touching and serious.
You're just a great actor all the way around.
I just think that you're so talented.
That's so nice, coming from Ellen, especially.
I mean, the slightest thing--
I really, really appreciate it.
And sincerely, you know what a fan I am of you.
You're so genuine, and so honest,
and deal with the relatable stuff.
So I always feel very comfortable because I
like your sense of humor.
You're kind to people, and you like to laugh about stuff.
So it's fun to be with you.
Well, good.
Well thanks.
Let's dance it out.
Come on, people.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHEERING]
That's what I mean.
[CHEERING]
See?
That's what I mean.
And you're a white guy who can dance.
You're like-- I don't know what you can't do.
Is there something-- I mean, you really can do--
is there something you're holding out on?
No, I've taken the few talents I've have, and I showcase them.
I have no hidden talent.
No?
There's nothing I-- every thing I'm remedially OK at,
that is out there.
That is there for all to see.
So we really-- we're not going to find out you
play an instrument?
When I was younger, 10 years old in the fifth grade
at the public school, everyone had
to take an instrument for appreciation
of these instruments.
Somehow, I got chosen to play the violin.
I don't know why.
Wow.
But that became my road into music.
Which, by the way, if you started playing maybe the piano
or something, with songs that you actually liked,
I think more kids would stick with it.
But right off the bat, it's like, songs you never heard of.
It's like, stuff that you don't really understand.
So anyway, I was in the violin section and how it worked was,
you would go in to take rehearsals.
And so you'd have to fill out how long you practice each day.
30 minutes was recommended, but if you wanted to go longer,
knock yourself out.
I never found myself in that situation.
No.
But what I would do was, I didn't practice,
but I didn't want to quit because I didn't
want to give up at something.
But I was no good at it, I had no talent for it,
I was dyslexic.
It was all so complicated for me, but I figured I'll go,
and I'll have the dignity of this woman, who's very nice,
Mrs. Baldwin, pulling me aside and saying,
Vince, bless your heart.
You know how they say, bless your heart.
You tried your best.
It's time.
There's other things you might be good at.
This is not your calling.
But I would fill out my rehearsal the day of,
because I didn't want it to look like I didn't rehearse.
I couldn't play a note.
For some reason, Mrs. Baldwin never told me to leave.
Now all of a sudden, we become a full orchestra,
where you're in your sections.
And so I would sit there, there's two sections.
And as the chairs go, so does your talent.
I was in the last chair of the last section.
So she knew I was not a prodigy.
But I would sit there, nervous and sweating,
following the bows, never touching the strings because I
was scared to hit a bad note.
So I would watch the other bows and go, now I'm up,
now I'm down.
And there would be, like, a 10 seconds
part that I knew, and I kind of rocked that out,
and that felt good.
And then it was over with.
And then it ended.
It ended.
And it's safe to say, I did not re-up after that.
No?
But she never said, hey look, I know you can't play, anything.
But I think you should stay and have this experience.
It was the most bizarre, humiliating thing
I've ever gone through in my life.
But you stayed back there and actually just followed?
I thought, she's going to tell me to go home.
I'm not talented.
Which is what she-- but she never said it.
I figured maybe she thought, God, this guy is so, like, not
capable, but he won't go away.
I don't want to tell the poor kid to go home.
So yeah, I would sit there, I'd watch what they did,
I'd move it like this, but I'd never actually touch string
to string.
That was an uncomfortable time.
Because when you're not making the right note,
there's nothing that sounds worse than hitting
a wrong note on a violin.
That is-- there's no way to--
There's nothing worse.
I mean--
That's not--
You're practicing, you have like Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,
it sounds like cats coming home to roost.
It was-- none of it was good.
Yeah.
Hey, I didn't realize this, I found this out this morning
when I was--
we were talking about you.
That's what we do before you get here, we all talk about.
That you're engaged, congratulations.
Yes, thank you.
I didn't know that.
Yes.
Happy for you.
Thank you so much.
I'm really happy.
I met her through a good friend of mine,
and she makes me laugh, and she's wonderful.
I'm just thrilled.
Oh, good.
And when will you get married?
Well, the engagement, like we talked
about, it wasn't one of those things--
have you seen these things where these people ask people
to marry them and really public ways,
and then the people say no?
You think they'd have a little talk before they
went to that extreme.
Yeah, yeah.
It's always like, at some game, in the floor.
And it's like, then you start to wonder,
did they go to such a big public display
to corner the other person so they couldn't say no?
Like, they were forcing them into it instead
of, like, a thing?
So I knew-- we had talked about it,
and I knew we were both kind of in agreeance with it.
And then I sort of was like, then
it became about, when do you ask?
So Valentine's Day rolled around.
I figured this is not a ship to be missed.
Because I will not forget this date.
So Valentine's Day was the day that I asked
her, which worked out great.
Because it would have been kind of weird to have talked
about it and then skip Valentine's Day as if,
he knows when this is coming.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And so, how long have you actually been dating?
We've been dating for about a year and a half.
And do you-- because I know you.
You're very kind of quiet, you don't really
go out a lot and everything.
Do you watch a lot of TV together?
Do you?
Yeah, every relationship, at some point,
you end up watching a couple of shows
that you like together that are not necessarily great shows.
What do you all like together?
That's what I'm getting at.
Well, I've been kind of busy.
I mean, my reality career started 10 years ago
with the show where the one girl was in the house,
and then they had 20 guys.
Sure.
Bachelorette.
They were going to pick who's going to-- that's
when I saw that, I thought, there's
no way that this is actually a show.
Like, these people don't know each other.
They're picking the person to spend their lives with.
Right.
And these people are fanatical, like, they want to get picked.
Right.
But they don't even know this person.
No, they're in love.
They're in love.
And then at the end, I love the wrinkle which is,
do you take true love, or you take a million in cash
on the side?
It's crazy.
Oh, that's another one.
That's not the same one.
Yeah, I don't think that's Bachelorette.
I can't keep up with the enticingness of these shows.
So you like these still?
No, I watched that one, I couldn't believe it.
And I got over it, I said, OK, now this is what they're doing.
But I'm waiting for, like, [BLEEP] My Whore or
some kind of show to come out.
You know what I mean?
Where they, like, it's like My Fair Lady
style with the street ladies.
I don't know where this stops.
You may--
I'll be on it, don't get me wrong.
You may-- yeah.
You actually may have--
Anyone dress me up, I'll be contestant one.
It's called Couples Retreat, and the cast is so great.
Jason Bateman, who is so hilarious, I adore him.
So funny.
And such a good actor, too.
Yeah. So good.
And all the people that are-- the therapists.
It's three couples?
Yeah, four couples, but really kind of three
and one guy who's going through a midlife crisis.
Right.
Who go to Bora Bora on this retreat
to try to see if they're all supposed to be together.
And it's really funny.
Really, really funny.
So in this-- I was trying to figure it out when
you were doing that scene.
I thought, those look like motorized,
or someone's yanking it with-- it's not a real shark.
But they were real sharks?
Well, in that particular scene, a lot of it's
done with computers afterwards.
But the shot towards the end of the movie,
when it's me and Marlon with the full gear on,
those are real sharks.
And growing up in the Midwest where it's flat and cold,
this was an experience I never dreamed of, I never wanted.
And then we were there, they're like,
you should really swim with the sharks.
So I said, OK.
I didn't want-- I was like, I have to swim with the sharks
now.
And then we were done filming, I did go back down and sort of
swim around.
And you got past that initial fear,
and it's really beautiful, and it's really
an amazing opportunity to get a chance to look at all the fish
and--
That was amazing.
That's at the end of the movie, sort of with the credits.
And those stingrays, I swam with stingrays
when I was there, too.
Isn't it the weirdest thing?
It was crazy, because I knew that--
That's you with the shark underneath, I think,
when you were scuba diving.
The stingrays, for me, I knew that one gentleman who
was, like, a brave animal adventurer
was stung and killed by a stingray.
And then these guys said to me, we've raised these stingrays
since they were kids.
Right.
But still, I was like, well, what happens
if the stingray has a bad day?
What if we don't have chemistry?
Right.
So you pet the stingray, and you're out there
with a ton of fish, which is what makes them come around.
But I don't know.
This could go very badly.
But I would feed them, you feed them
through the side, that's where their things are.
And once I got into it, it's just a very humbling thing
to be there with these animals, and to get a chance
to be that close to it.
I really wouldn't think that would be something
that would be on my bucket list, per se,
but I really enjoyed it.
Yeah.
I was there, it was beautiful there.
You jump in the water?
I didn't jump in.
I was chicken.
I climbed down the ladder.
But Portia would jump in.
Because it's, like, 20 feet up.
Yeah, you see--
The water is spectacular.
Oh, God.
And it's crystal clear.
And when we first got there, we're swimming.
Because these your huts are right out over the water.
And we're swimming we're like, God, there's no fish here.
It's amazing, there's no fish here.
And then we were walking by, like, the next day,
and the next hut over there, was like,
a five foot long barracuda.
And they're like, oh yeah, the barracudas.
Don't get near them.
And I'm like, we were in the water imagining
there's no fish in the ocean.
It's weird.
It's an ocean with no fish.
Yeah, I know.
And then the barracuda happens.
There's a Barracuda next to us in the next hut.
Did you get in the water after you
learned that the barracuda was a neighbor?
I did, yes.
I did.
And then we swam with the stingrays and everything.
What was your favorite?
Did you do the sharks as well?
I didn't do the sharks.
We jet skied out and saw dolphins, a whole school
of dolphins that would swim with us when we were jet
skiing, which was really fun.
They just kind of play with the jet skis,
and just jump in front of you and back and forth.
And I was slowing down, I thought I'd hit them.
But then they got bored and went away,
they like when you go fast.
Yeah, yeah.
And they're, you know.