- You nervous? - A little bit.
A little bit.
I am really touched by your family
story and your family issue.
You know, I was trying to figure out what role
everybody plays in the problem.
So I made a sign identifying each person in this story.
Ms. Lula, you are the foundation.
OK.
The elder, yeah?
LULA: Yeah.
Because all of these are your children
and your grandchildren.
So you hold that.
OK.
Now, Uncle Daddy Mr. Herbert, let me give you your sign--
nemesis.
OK.
'Cause y'all had a big scandal.
And you at the core of the fight, simply because you
stood with your sister.
That's why you the nemesis.
[KNOCKING]
Hi, Justin, Derrica, come on in.
IYANLA: Whether they know it or not,
every single person has a role in the conflict
that results in a breakdown.
My hope is that a visual representation will help
these family members understand their roles
and empathize with each other before Miss
Yolanda arrives and tensions rise or tempers flare.
Come on in, youngin's.
Justin, you collateral damage.
JUSTIN: Just like, caught in the crossfire.
IYANLA: Yes, caught in the crossfire.
And you are the fallout, 'cause your relationship to him.
That's your wife, right?
JUSTIN: Yes, ma'am.
IYANLA: She got the fallout outta his collateral da--
I got something for y'all too, ready?
You collateral damage, too, 'cause
you got caught in the crossfire between your mama
and your grandmama.
Baby boy, KJ.
All right.
Make sense?
KJ: Yeah.
IYANLA: When's the last time you asked him what he thought?
I didn't-- I pretty much tried to not keep him involved--
get him involved.
See, that's old school, because between all
of y'all, this is what we got--
the generation gap.
Because the way you see it ain't the way you see it.
And the way you see it ain't the way he seen it.
So we got this complicating all of this.
Ms. Lula, that's you.
Case you didn't know it, you old.
[LAUGHTER]
You with me, Mr. Herbert--
bam.
We were born during the war.
We got a whole lotta other stuff going on, OK?
Bam-- my millennials, y'all are a special breed
that I really don't understand.
And there's a whole bunch a y'all here.
They got some stuff going on that we don't even understand.
Bam-- they speak a whole 'nother language.
What I want y'all to get, it's not just about
what she did or what he did.
It's that we can all agree on the problem,
but then we all got different perspectives about it.
Where does the breakdown come?
Where's the breakdown?
She's not here right now.
IYANLA: Everyone in this family has
a different perspective on their issues with one another.
But one thing is abundantly clear,
everyone has issues with Ms. Lula's daughter Ms. Yolanda.
Ah, come on in, Ms. Yolanda, yeah.
What we've been doing-- we've been identifying
a number of problems.
OK
You were at the core of the breakdown, so that's your sign.
OK.
And then the generation gap is in the middle of all of y'all.
OK.
- This yours. - OK.
You understand what that means?
That's you. - Mmhm.
Yeah.
Do y'all see the levels?
You think it's about one person?
No.
Five generations-- you got a whole lot
of stuff going on here.
And the one thing that y'all forgot
in the process is the love.