Please don't feel singled out, special,
or view yourself as a chosen one.
She bites everyone.
This is just the inherent nature of the beast.
There is absolutely no truth to the persistent myths
that mosquitoes fancy females over males,
that they prefer blondes and redheads
over those with darker hair,
or that the darker or more leathery your skin,
the safer you are from her bite.
It is true, however, that she does play favorites
and feasts on some more than others.
Blood type O seems to be the vintage of choice
over types A and B or their blend.
People with blood type O get bitten
twice as often as those with type A,
with type B falling somewhere in between.
Disney-Pixar must have done their homework
when portraying a tipsy mosquito
ordering a Bloody Mary, O-positive
in the 1998 movie "A Bug's Life."
Those who have higher natural levels of certain chemicals
in their skin, particularly lactic acid,
also seem to be more attractive.
From these elements, she can analyze
which blood type you are.
These are the same chemicals that determine
an individual's level of skin bacteria and unique body odor.
While you may offend others and perhaps yourself,
in this case, being pungently rancid is a good thing,
for it increases bacteria levels on the skin,
which make you less alluring to mosquitoes.
Cleanliness is not next to godliness,
except for stinky feet, which emit a bacterium,
the same one that ripens and rinds certain cheeses,
that is a mosquito aphrodisiac.
Mosquitoes are also enticed by deodorants,
perfumes, soaps, and other applied fragrances.
While this may seem unfair to many of you,
and the reason remains a mystery,
she also has an affinity for beer drinkers.
Wearing bright colors is also not a wise choice,
since she hunts by both sight and smell,
the latter depending chiefly on the amount of carbon dioxide
exhaled by the potential target.
So all your thrashing and huffing and puffing
only magnetizes mosquitoes and puts you at greater risk.
She can smell carbon dioxide from over 200 feet away.
When you exercise, for example, you emit more carbon dioxide
through both frequency of breath and output.
You also sweat, releasing those appetizing chemicals,
primarily lactic acid,
that invites the mosquito's attention.
Lastly, your body temperature rises,
which is an easily identifiable heat signature
for your soon-to-be tormentor.
On average, pregnant women suffer twice as many bites,
as they respire 20% more carbon dioxide
and have a marginally elevated body temperature.
As we will see, this is bad news
for the mother and the fetus
when it comes to infection from Zika and malaria.
Please don't go on a shower, deodorant, and exercise strike
or shelve your beloved beer and bright T-shirts just yet.
Unfortunately, 85% of what makes you
attractive to mosquitoes is prewired
in your genetic circuit board,
whether that be blood type, natural chemical,
bacteria or CO2 levels, metabolism, or stink and stench.
At the end of the day, she will find blood
from any exposed target of opportunity.