Hello IELTS daily friends, it's Chris I'm here with a special class today. We are
going to be looking at a writing class. We're going to be reviewing a sample
that I have written and it's going to be the academic training task one. We are going to be
looking at a line graph and at the end of the class you will be able to download the sample.
The link will be in the description or in the comments section. Now I know that many of you
find the academic training task one really tricky, and so what this video is going to do is talk step
by step the type of question that you might have, and then when we have finished you might be able
to pick out some of the things that you could take away from this video, and include in your writing.
Shall we, shall we begin? I would love to show you my sample. Now, the thing is
in this test you only have 20 minutes which can be really tricky. I know it can be really difficult
so what I want to do is show you my sample and then see if you can take anything away. On the
left you will see the task which is a line graph and we will read the section in blue.
The graph shows the rates of obesity in men and women in the country of Padonia. Summarize the
information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write
at least 150 words. Now, the first thing that you need to do is interpret the data, the visual data
and see whether you can find any trends. I always find that trends in line graphs tend to be easier
than finding trends in tables, or in bar charts, or in pie charts. That's because line graphs are
you know you can see the trend over time. It's usually something that's over time.
So we can see that there is 2016 to 2020, there are um two lines one in green which is women
and one in men which is blue, and interestingly I can see there are two trends here. I don't know
if anybody else can see the two trends, but you will find those in my overview.
So we're going to have a look at my overview now. You should see the text on the on the right of the
screen, and what I want to do is go step by step and talk about each paragraph. By the way if you
learn anything from this session today, if this really helps you, I would really appreciate just
a like on this video because this means that other people will be able to see it as well. Let's read
my introduction which is just a paraphrase of the task that you see in the box. The line graph
provides information on the percentage of obese males and females in Padonia between 2016 and 2020.
So what we're doing is we're just paraphrasing what we find in the blue box. This should be the
easiest part of the task and you shouldn't have too many problems and sorting that.
The next part or the next paragraph is your overview, and your overview needs to be a summary
of the general trends that you see. You don't want to be including too many details or any details if
possible what you're trying to do is just show the reader that you have found some trends. Let's
look at the overview in grey. Overall, obesity rates in Padonia for both males and females
increased, and with the exception of 2019 women had marginally higher levels of obesity than men. I
told you just before that there are two trends and this overview summarizes those those two trends.
The first trend is that the both lines actually go up and that means that both males and females, the
rates of obesity increased. And in my overview I said with the exception of 2019, with the exception
of 2019 women had marginally higher levels of obesity than men. That means that the green line
if we look on the left, the green line is always higher than the blue line except in 2019. And those
two trends there would probably be expected by the examiner. You'd be looking for those two trends
and being able to demonstrate that you can see that that is the overview. The thing that is the
kind of the top down, the thing that would be the most noticeable, the most striking feature
and that would be you would have to include those two points in your overview to get a good score.
Now, the next thing that I want to bring to your attention is the organization of my ideas. I
have written two paragraphs here, and the first thing that I can see is that I have split my
two paragraphs into one about men and the second one about women. You need to be able to logically
organize your ideas, and therefore for me the most logical thing is to have two paragraphs,
one about the green line, and one about the blue line. I think that's the the most logical way.
I hope you agree. If you do agree and you do like this video, please give us a like.
Next, we'll read the first body paragraph or the first details paragraph, which is about men.
Male obesity started around 10 percent in 2016, and remained relatively unchanged until 2018 when
it increased slightly to 12 percent. Okay so what I'm doing is I'm showing how it started and what
happened. It remained relatively unchanged, and then I included a complex sentence, I said when
it increased slightly to 12 percent. So I'm showing the examiner I have a range of grammatical structures.
Over the next year, the proportion of obese males went up significantly
and overtook women, accounting for almost 20 percent. So I'm using the gerund form here. I'm using the um
the noun form, accounting for. Um so this is quite an important feature. I'm showing that I have a
a wider range of grammatical structures here, and I've shown what happens in 2019. I said over the
next year. And finally by 2020 the rise had slowed. I've used the past perfect, I've said by 2020
the rise had slowed and finished at 22 percent, just lower than that of females. So I've made
a comparison, I've said that at the end of the period the rise slowed, and now the line is below
the female line. So I've kept all my information together in one paragraph, I've covered all the key
features which are in the graph, I've explained what's happened at each stage, and I've given
details of percentages, really really important. The next paragraph that I have is about women,
and I said female rates of obesity showed a slightly different trend. So I'm again, I'm
making a comparison, I'm saying that the trend for women is not exactly the same as men. They started,
now the example here that I'm using, they started, I'm using referencing, I'm using substitution.
I don't say the rates again, I don't repeat words. I said they, this is an example of
substitution and referencing which you need to have at the coherence and cohesion band seven.
They started in 2016 just above males at 11 percent, so again just above males we're making a comparison.
The growth from this point to 2019 was quite steady
reaching 18 percent, so I'm saying what's happened in 2019 having just been overtaken by men.
So I'm making a reference again to this idea that the rates for men overtook those of women.
After this year however and I've included however in the middle of the sentence to show contrast and
to make um, to really exemplify and show it as an example, and contrast. After this year however, the
obesity rates climbed quite significantly. So I'm showing that now the the rates are going
up quickly, and finished in 2020 at 25 percent. So I've included what happens at the very very end of
the stage. Have I included all the key features? Yes, I have. Have I used a variety of complex structures
for my grammar? Yes, I have. Have I um organized my ideas into logical paragraphs? Yes, I have. All of
these features you need to have to reach a band seven, so please make sure that you are thinking,
organizing ideas, complexity of sentences, covering all the key features, having an overview which
really covers the trends, the main trends of what you see. Thank you so much for coming
along to this session today. It was a short and informative session. I do hope you enjoyed it. I
hope you learned something from it, if you did, please share this, like it, and I will see you in
the next session. Take care. I'm Chris from IELTS daily, keep studying hard you're doing so well.