If anyone tells you that they weren't surrounded by drugs
when they were in the rave scene
then they're not being honest
I guess the most popular drugs are gonna be
stuff like ecstasy MDMA
Probably mair ecstasy than anyhin else wasn't it?
In Ireland certainly people would half a pill
Yeah
And that would do them for the night
Whereas I came here and people were necking
you know three or four
That's it two pound pills
aw the boys aw runnin aboot wae their face all ooer the place
Everybody was so nice like...
there was never any fights
I don't think I've ever seen a fight at a rave to be honest
If I'm being totally honest I don't think I've seen...
Why do you think that is?
Everybody loves each other
Why do you think that is?
All full ae love
The ecstasy did help no two ways about it
you know what I mean
So the ecstasy made people not fight basically?
I think so yeah
Yep
One million percent
I guess what ecstasy's doing
so it's working on your serotonin regulation in your brain
and that's one of the neurotransmitters
that gives you feelings of happiness and well-being
It would be naïve to suggest that it didn't play a huge part
in the the growth the success the culture
you know all of it was inexorably linked with drugs
It's as simple as that
So the chemical landscape that fed the music?
Definitely yeah
In some ways the two things do dovetail
So I think it's impossible to stop people wanting to use drugs
It's always been there so it's about
how do we make people safe as possible
But no matter how sensible you are Katy right
one pill can still kill can't it?
Yeah there's definitely risks there
Did the drugs landscape in Scotland at the time
cause you anxiety in your events?
I think it causes everybody in the dance scene anxiety
I don't think anybody could get away from it
It's scary yeah
And the two hings they were linked right
but they were almost in opposition
and then other ways they complimented each other
because people would say
the music wouldnae be there withoot the drugs
It's a catch-22 isn't it?
It is
It's a catch-22
I think it's really hard for people organising events
because there's this pressure
to not have drugs at your event
and you know for a lot of the organisers
you know that might be their goal
but realistically speaking that is just an impossible task
What goes up...
must come doon
By 2012 I'd been struggling wae addiction for years
and wae my mental health
I had tae stop using all drugs
For me the party was over
For over ten years I'd been absolutely caning it
Do you think there was a bravado about taking pills in Scotland?
There's definitely an element of bravado
I mean I think we see that with all sorts of things in that age group
We're talking like 18 to 21 or whatever you know
We think we're invincible at that age
So we used to get like people talking about
oh they're the really strong ones
but I'm quite hardcore so I can take a couple and I'll be alright
People that have difficult experiences
the typical things are gonna be
if it's mental health they might become kind of agitated
they might experience panic attacks
because you're getting your heartrate's going up
and that can be quite anxiety inducing
It almost simulates a panic attack
Yeah
Doesn't it so fast heart
racing thoughts
Yeah
Etcetera
Yeah exactly
Quite a frightening experience for some people
Yeah absolutely
and particularly if people have got underlying anxiety
you can imagine that it can be quite frightening for them
We werenae immune tae the headlines
but we didnae really care
Sometimes you'd get a new batch
and we used tae just say well somebody needs tae try them
and then we would drink a bottle ae buckfast
and you know we would guinea pig em
I'm probably lucky tae be alive
I'm really curious to hear what your experience was like
you know when you were talking about it being overwhelming
I've got a complicated relationship wae drugs
Yeah
Because I loved them right
and I used to shout about them aw the time
and then it went wrong know what I mean
And noo I'm probably in the demonising camp
I had trouble wae pacing you know
I would get excited you know
These were the events I loved
and then I would take too many drugs too quickly
I had my first panic attack while using drugs
and that became a legacy that lasted
long after my drug use had ended
You could say I was predisposed to that
but I can't help think that if I hadn't used the drugs
I might not have took that first panic attack
You might be right you might...
If you didn't have that trigger
that maybe would have just stayed dormant
and that's an important point to make
Many studies have found this that ten percent of people that use drugs
will experience more significant problems
So that gives you ninety percent of people that might use recreationally
and then stop using and then never have any issues
but for that ten percent
and I think what I'm hearing is that was your experience
Those problems can be really serious
So it's just about whether you're in that ninety or that ten percent
All drug use has risk
People definitely need to be aware ae that
and think about not just the physical effects
but the potential mental side effects