Welcome back, you beautiful weeaboos, to another episode of Sebastian Roasts!
On the last episode of Sebastian Roasts,
We went through some of your brilliant poems.
Many of them were fantastic.
Now I want to see how many of you can "pick me up" so to say.
So let's get right into it...
Are you a teletubby? Because I just came all over your face....
This one is one of my... personal favorites.
Since the theme is pick up lines, i'll do as requested! Bends down and starts to pick up lines on the floor
Oh! It looks like we have a person who likes to think they're smart.
Perhaps dreaming of darkness, you were SO unable to make your own pick up line.
you thought taking my words literally would compensate and be funny...
Oh-
Well you are incorrect.
Pluto says
Sebastian you are my master can you fetch me some balls
To my dearest Pluto,
Stay the fuck out of the anime,
you are NOT canon.
Ho-
Ciel Phantomhive sa-
Oh, Ciel, please don't do this.
EVERYONE will get the wrong idea...
you're hotter than the fire that killed my parents.
Wow.
You wanted to pick me up so badly Ciel, you would dishonor your family...
Hmm.
Fitting...
Grrrrrell Bassy says:
OH BASSY~
Lets add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply!
As tempting of an offer as it is, Grell, my dear,
I must decline because you are rrrepulsive.
Do you have a name or can i call you mine
Ooh, that's a cute one.
I like it.
Pikachu15 says:
I suck at pick up lines but i hope this is good.
Hello, my dear. Would you stop for just a moment. I would like to say you're an angel, but I prefer the naughty type so, just for me my dear, will you become a demon?
We will commit the ultimate sin of love. Even if you are religious,
a demon butler and had gotten a nun to commit the sin of love, so I am sure that our relationship will be purely phantom-phine.
I see what you did there and I disapprove on every level.
I seem to have lost my phone number. Can you give me yours?
Are you my self-esteem? Cause I've been looking for you all my life.
I will admit, that is slightly depressing...
Pick up line. I am a Teletubby.
Hooh!
Hooh, is it me or is it getting hot in here?
Better-
Better take off my shirt and jacket... Hoh hoh...
Are you ciel from Black Butler? Because i want to see you bent over in a happy meal.
Yo Sebastian, did you sit in sugar, cause you got a sweet ass.
Ooh, thank you!
Why on Earth would I sit in sugar?!
It's such a waste!
Why would anyone want to do that?!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
I'll treat you like my homework, slam you on the table and do you all night.
I imagine that I, just as your homework, would feel VERY unsatisfied...
Sebastian, I'd offer you a cigarette but it looks like you're already smoking hot.
"My pick-up line rap." oooh
You're hot, i' m not, but i wanna bang you a lot.
Use protection, for dat erection, cuz we don't want to have perplexion,
But just maybe, I can have your baby, because you're driving me crazy,
I may be only 13,
WHAT THE FUCK?!
WHAT?!
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
NO!
NO.
No 13-year olds!
What on Earth is wrong with you 13-year olds?!
Go watch "Finding Nemo"
Or...
Or "Dora the Explorer" for God's sake!
But not "Teletubbies", that's mine...
Demons may fall from heavan, I may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me.
Ooh, that one was quite nice.
It was a poem as well.
Fantastic!
Ooh, creativity!
I'm not great at pickup lines so um
DO YOU WANNA SMASH YOUR FACE WITH MY FACE - god dammit I did it again.
Yes...
Yes you did...
Rrrrrrrowl
Rrrrrr
What the- What the fuck is wrong with me?
You say you are straight. Well, so is spaghetti, before you get it wet.
Ooh!
That one was VERY creative!
Kudos to you, my friend.
I can't even roast it...
But next time, don't write "pick-up line" before a pick-up line.
I'll- I'll know it's a pick-up line, come on...
I saw this one quite a lot...
Hey baby, i"ll treat you like my big toe. And bang you on every single piece of furniture I have.
Ooh!
Well I must decline, as I'm not a big fan of ruining furniture you know?
Are you cinderella? Cause i see that dress coming off at midnight. Kill me please.
Well, I really wasn't a fan of Cinderella previously,
but the way things are going I might have to change my mind!
"Sebastian are you a cat-" I wish...
Because i'm feline a paw-sitive connection between the both of us. Please take meow't on a date and I will love you fur-ever.
You know, I was a very big fan of felines in general
but now I feel like you've just butchered them for me...
Want to hear a joke, Undertaker?
Yes, um, it's yourself.
Burn, my friend! Burn in hell.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
Now, this could just be me,
or perhaps you need a bit more fiber in your diet.
And you know, it's not the love thing...
Whatever.
here's a few of the greatest, told by yours truly.
I don't mean to pikachu, but let's be onix you have a pretty nice ash.
I'd break a vase any day so that we could KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE.
you're like my 3D maneuvering gear, I can't make it in this world without you.
I'll love you longer than ALL the naruto episodes.
Has the world even existed that long, I don't think it has?
Sorry, your so hot I mistook you for the Phantomive manor.
Oh, like I haven't heard that one a million times.
Do you have a Death note? Because every time you smile I get a heart attack.
Are you Ciel? Because I'd tighten your corset anytime.
Sign this butler up.
Kelly you were SO close to picking me up, you really were.
But... come on!
Phantomhive and a fire joke?
Like we haven't heard that one... a million times before in every single thing ever mentioning Black Butler.
No? Come on.
You can do better than this, Kelly!
Come on!
Get. Your. Shit. Together, Kelly!
Sebastian? Are you a cat whisperer? Cause I bet you know what this pussy wants.
Ooh!
Well, if Betty is anything to go by, I surly do know what the pussy wants~
My tear soaked pillow won't be the only thing that's wet tonight.
Oh my gosh... jeez...
You must be the square root of two. cause I feel irrational around you.
Math and a pick-up line... what more could a butler want?! Fantastic job!
A poem in a pick-up line! Fantastic!
Teletubbies are red, Teletubbies are blue, you can try to roast this pick up line but it's already hotter than you.
This isn't supposed to be a poem but can't a girl rhyme? Because my singing will turn you on faster than Ciel's parents died.
I know this poem was lousy, and my pickup lines were sappy. But me and you could make a hardcore yaoi just like Ciel when he calls his butler daddy.
Ooh!
Well, if I wasn't already naked, I certainly would be.
Let's play Titanic. But it turns out the iceberg isn't the only rock solid thing right now if you catch my drift.
The devil isn't the only thing that will be inside you.
Very kinky there!
Let's commit the perfect crime! I'll steal your heart and you steal mine.
Oh! How cute...
But how about...
No.
Are you a happy meal toy? Because I'd like to get you bent over and vibrating.
I'm very surprised anyone remembers that quote to be honest...
You want a pick up line?
I shall do it in a poem.
Because you are the xylem, to my phloem.
Ooh, that was very nice and someone has been enjoying their biology classes.
Yes! Love it!
I'm as obsessed with you, as eleven year olds are with lemons. I'll take you to visit the teletubbies. and we'll bask in their radiant presence.
Ooh, that was a very nice line.
Your the boku to my pico, with grammar oh so sexy. Your voice is so beautifully British, I almost had an apoplexy. I can't give you a life. I can't open my legs wider. However, I can satisfy your feline kink. For I am Betty the Tiger.
Oh, yes!
Now i know that wasn't one line, but don't you think it was classy? I swear on the reaper Grell Sutcliff, I'll make Sebastian my Bassy.
How about... No!
I won't be anybody's "Bassy"
Also, can I say that I nearly got myself an apoplexy,
trying to say the bloody word "apoplexy"?
Holy- Holy moley that's hard to say...
Well, well, well, thank you all so very much for joining me.
And I bet a lot of you are wondering,
"What is the theme for the next episode?"
Well, I'm glad you all asked!
The next video theme will be "Rrrrraps".
So throw a demon a beat and hit that booty and lets get some sick rrraps going!
I will see you beautiful people next time.
The devil isn't the only thing that will be inside of you- for fuck's sake.
(smol laugh)
Jesus.
(swishity swoosh)
Are you a teletubby?
Because I just came all over your face- (laughter)
What the fuck...
(more outtake swooshies)
you want pick up line? i shall do it in a poem
(Love you Connor <3)