Hi there, I'm Angela Oberer and in my opinion, arguments are completely unnecessary.
An argument is two people coming together to voice that they have opposing opinions.
Now this is a free country, and you are both entitled to your own opinion,
so in a sense you're both correct. Now if you're in an argument, you're trying
to convince somebody your opinion is correct and their opinion doesn't make any sense.
Why are you arguing with somebody who doesn't make any sense? That doesn't make any sense.
So, you find yourself in an argument - you don't want to be in, you're goint to turn to what I call
the "Five I Heard Yous". Here's how it works: If you're in an argument
and the other person has their opinion, they want to be heard.
So just listen to them. You're going to say neutral comments that
say "I heard you" and I don't agree, and I don't disagree.
They are comments like this: "That's Interesting" or "Huh, or Hmm", "How
'bout that", "That's fascinating", "Well, what do you know" and you can go back and
cycle through those again, and again, and again.
'Cause guess what? The person may keep talking, but it has been proven that a person
will not argue with themself. So when you give them something neutral that says "I heard
you, I'm paying attention" but you're not agreeing or disagreeing, what happens is it
kind of diffuses itself and they will go away. Now that you have listened to them, when you
are ready to share with them your opinion, they will be more receptive because you heard
them and now they are going to hear you. If they don't hear you and they start back
again, go back to the "Five I Heard Yous." It will make your life a whole lot easier,
and it's a good idea.
It's a good idea.