So on last week's Ask Cristen a commenter complained that I didn't look professional
enough in the video. Nothing screams professional like well, um, a tie, right? Your questions
and the sun rising right now as we speak after the intro.
On last week's Ask Cristen I asked one of the most important and contentious questions
in human history which is does it hurt more to have a baby or get kicked in the testicles?
Your responses were nothing short of entertaining so for that dear viewers I thank you. Fake
Geek Girl for instance weighed in. 'Another thing is that people seem to act like it doesn't
hurt at all or doesn't hurt much when a girl gets hit in the crotch. Do you think the female
crotchal region is just numb to the pain? Because that on it's own is still painful,
without even bringing childbirth into the question.' You are correct. Getting punched
or kicked in the vagine area, that's french for outside vagina, don't even tell me again
commenters that the outside is called the vulva. I do know what my genitals are called.
Next comment comes from Christian Rodriquez. 'As a man I would have to say in my honest
opinion' and please be honest, 'giving birth would hurt more than being kicked in the balls
however you give birth what? 1-3 times in your life and maybe even never but being kicked/hit
in anyway in the balls is pretty much a weekly concern and it is extremely painful still
so I would agree with asap science and call it a tie.' That is a great point, Christian
your balls are constantly at risk of getting bonked. That does score one point for the
testicle side of things. So this week's Ask Cristen question actually doesn't come from
comments but from an email that viewer Sam sent me. 'In the dating world when a man wants
to have sex early on with a woman he is attracted to, he will often get a response that goes
something like this: "I am not that kind of girl and need to get to know you better."
Isn't that the biggest lie any woman can tell a guy? Lets believe her statement for a second.'
Yes, Sam lets do believe a woman's statement when she says she doesn't want to have sex.
Seriously. 'Is she really asking us to believe that if the man who wanted to have sex with
her immediately was Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, George Clooney, ect., she would give him the
same response? Is she also asking us to believe that out of the roughly 150 million men in
the USA that she would not be "that kind of girl" with any of them?' Lets try to break
this down as much as we can because there's a lot going on with this question. Why are
you going to assume that every woman who wants to delay sex is lying? That's a real slippery
slope to non-consensual behavior. Let's play devil's advocate for just a minute and say
that women are at least not as forthright about their desires for sex and sexuality.
This is different than saying that in the heat of the moment if a woman says no she
doesn't mean no. I'm just going to assume that she means no. Best that you do too. If
you look at studies of sexual partners and sex acts there is a gender gap. Men tend to
report higher numbers of sex partners and higher numbers of sex acts they have engaged
in. Researchers suggest that it has to do with a little thing called slut-shaming Sam.
Even today in the era of birth control and hooking up, there still remains this double
standard of women having sex carries a larger penalty of judgments compared to men who go
out and have sex. The cost-benefit analysis of the economics of sex, women have this one
little line item called risk of pregnancy. At least give women the benefit of the doubt
if only for biological purposes. I also want to know whether we're supposed to believe
that women wouldn't immediately want to jump into bed with Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom or
George Clooney. Why are you assuming that every single woman is exactly the same? I
can guarantee you that in those A-list Hollywood circles that there are plenty of women who
would actually delay sex with those men. You can flip this though and say well if you put
female celebrities in there, how quickly would men jump into bed with them? Or women jump
into bed with them. That is not an example of how women are all lying liars, it's more
an example of the power that celebrity wields within our society. Finally you want to know
'is she asking us to believe' she being I guess this universal female, 'all the men
in the United States she wouldn't be "that kind of girl" with any of them?' She doesn't
want to be that kind of girl with you. She wants to get to know you more. And then maybe
she's going to have sex with you. That's called dating. And judging someone negatively as
you are in this case based on a sexual history that you do not know is really slut-shamey.
And I wanted to talk about this question from Sam not to throw Sam under the bus but because
I see these similar kinds of troublesome lines of thinking, we'll call it that, around the
internet. I--Sam you're not alone in making these assumptions about women not meaning
what they say when they say no. We need to talk about this. Especially in the United
States, we don't talk about it enough because women are still often scared to. So don't
be scared, comment below and as always let me know your questions for next week.