hey guys look at my new place so the
goal for today's video is to give some
value even if just to a couple to you
all that I ask in this is that you watch
it to the end and that you're kind to
each other so that being said it has
been a while since we've had the
opportunity just to do a sit and talk
video but I figured this was gonna be a
really good topic for it we're talking
today about being lonely in Japan and
some of the things that can lead up to
that and some stuff that you can do but
I kind of want to start by painting a
little bit of a picture so for the sake
of imagination let's say that you've
made the commitment you've decided to
move to Japan you save up your money and
you take the plunge but shortly after
getting here you start to realize that
making friends and meeting people is a
bit more of a challenge than you
initially anticipated it to be and in a
very short period of time you start
finding yourself feeling lonely and
isolated it's not just you it happens a
lot and that's kind of what I want to
talk about today so this entire topic
came up because about a week ago
I was at an event where I had the
opportunity to meet a lot of people who
just came to Japan hi guys it was great
meeting you by the way and fairly early
on in our conversation this topic came
up and what leads to it and what you can
do to combat it and I thought it was a
really great conversation this topic
itself is all too real and for a lot of
people loneliness is going to hit hard
like you're not just moving to a new
country or in general to a new place
where you might not know that many
people but you're also separating from
the people that you do know and that
you've grown up with whether it be
family or friends combined with the fact
that the longer you're away from home
the more stuff back home you're gonna
miss whether it be weddings or events
birthdays or in the worst case scenario
even the passing of loved ones like you
might not be able to get back for some
of those important moments I've been in
Japan now over ten years and I've missed
more than my fair share all things
considered it
pretty easy for the dream of living in
Japan to turn into the nightmare of
being isolated in Japan all of this kind
of reminded me of a story from a couple
years back when one of my friends moved
from Canada to Japan and ended up
leaving a few short months later because
he found himself being really detached
and lonely not having a good time in
Japan at all and I think a lot of it
came down to falling into bad habits or
bad routines like many of us do and I've
spent a lot of time over the years
thinking about this and talking to other
friends about what led to this
individual's eventual departure and
hopefully what's distilled from this
over the years will be able to give you
a little bit of value so starting by
getting one of the most obvious ones out
of the way the language barrier
especially if your goal is to make as
many Japanese friends as possible the
language barrier can feel like a really
big one and I've advocated time and time
again that you don't need to be able to
speak Japanese before you move here
obviously unless your goal is to be able
to connect with and meet as many
Japanese people as possible that
obviously changes things
a little now studying before you come
can have its benefits or even joining a
language school while you here may
introduce you to like-minded people but
more than anything I would hope that it
would give you the inspiration that you
need to go out and use the Japanese that
you've learned it's kind of like when
you get a new car you'll find any excuse
to go out and drive it every time I
learn something new in Japanese I can't
wait to get out there and use it or put
myself in a situation where I have the
opportunity to use it and that's one of
the biggest benefits of studying
Japanese while you're here hopefully it
keeps you motivated and on your toes to
meet people and use that Japanese but
whether you speak Japanese or not
there's a second really big problem that
I think a lot of people fall victim to
I'm just going to put it really simply
go out do something ideally with people
one of the most common pitfalls that I
see people falling into again and again
and again is the pitfall of going too
working coming home and letting your
entire life revolve around that hobbies
can be an incredible gateway in to
meeting a community of people that you
otherwise wouldn't meet like my very
first hobby in Japan that led to me
meeting people and making friends was
vegetables and then after that I got
into cars and drifting and then after
that was the shamisen and then
photography and each and every one of
these led to me meeting a group or
community of people that really helped
me build out a life here in Japan and
that leads me to another really big one
which is building a balanced life not
putting all of your eggs or effort into
one basket whether it be work or one of
your social circles or your running club
or whatever it is because not everybody
is here for the long term in fact a
really really common struggle that I see
is there's a lot of people who are only
here for a year or six months or maybe a
year and a half on a working holiday or
something like that and I see a lot of
newcomers coming to Japan and complain
that the more longer residents can be
unapproachable or snobbish and then I
see these same long-term residents that
are talking about being openly unwilling
to commit to a friendship with somebody
that they know is only gonna be here for
a short period of time and more often
than not all of this starts to lead to
finger-pointing and blame and blame
leads to excuses and that's another
really really big one excuses tend to be
the easy way out and I've seen a lot of
people end up isolated or leaving Japan
and making excuses the whole way out I
don't speak Japanese or I'm too busy
with work or things are too expensive or
even something really super simple like
it getting dark as early as it does
around the winter like I'm from Canada
so it gets dark fairly late thanks to
daylight savings time but here in Japan
around 4:00 4:30 p.m. in the winter it's
already dark and it can feel like the
day is done and people lean into these
excuses because it's disease
and going ahead and doing the work and
legitimately each one of those excuses
and more individually if not put
together can be a reason to not go out
and do stuff and it reminds me of this
CEO that I met a few years back who
throws these networking events for
companies to network with potential
future employees and he went out of his
way to put these events at incredibly
inconvenient times like 8 p.m. on a
Sunday or something like that and when I
asked him about why he scheduled him at
such inconvenient times he made a really
good point he's like the hardest part is
just putting in the effort to show up
excuses are easy showing up is hard and
this issue in itself is not unique to
non-japanese people coming to Japan in
fact it is a well-known issue in Japan
that Japanese people also struggle with
loneliness and in the same way that you
might want to come to Japan and connect
with locals and make Japanese friends
there's just as many Japanese people who
want to be able to get out and connect
and meet non-japanese people and expand
their world as well that being said I
feel like it's also important to mention
the importance of realistic expectations
I'm sure this is not gonna be you but
don't be that person who comes to Japan
and expects all the people around them
to flock to them just because they're
non Japanese that nobody nobody likes
that person do expect to have to put in
the same level of effort that you would
have to put in back home to meet people
and build connections and make
friendships that that's that's a lot
more realistic and with it being almost
2020 there's no shortage of portals to
kick-off friendships things like
interest based Facebook groups or even
Twitter I've made a lot of friends over
the years on Twitter but the key is not
to let the online interaction outweigh
the face-to-face interactions so to take
the risk invite people out for coffee or
a jog or whatever it is that you're into
the point is go outside do stuff meet
people like if you're lonely or worried
about being lonely in Japan so are other
people there's a lot of them actually
and if this little video can help
motivate you or those people to actually
go out and potentially find each other
then hopefully we'll have done something
good today and I want this video to sort
of a purpose beyond just addressing the
topic of being lonely in Japan I wanted
to serve as a conduit for social
interaction so I want to propose
something I want you guys to use the
comment section down below if you know
of a really good hangout spot that's
great for meeting people or you know an
online group for photography or jogging
cooking whatever it is or you even just
have a really good story that you think
will give some value leave it in the
comments section below especially if you
live in Japan or if you're moving to
Japan soon I'd love to see you guys
interacting down there I would also love
it if you would take two seconds to give
a like to this video if you're new to
the channel I'd love it if you'd go and
watch one or two more videos otherwise
thank you guys so much for joining this
today I hope that you got something out
of this at the very least I look forward
to hanging out with you down below and
you guys know I will see you again real
soon
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