Hey everybody.
Happy Thursday.
And I know this camera angle is a little weird.
But I can't find my tripod since Sean and I came back from Scotland.
Ahh.
So, I'm going to have to find it.
Because right now it's sitting on the books.
That's why I'm kind of looking down at you.
Like, hey.
But anyway.
Happy Thursday.
For any of you who didn't watch the video before,
I encourage you to watch it.
Because I just got back from Scotland.
And I am sad to be home.
I had such a great time.
And it was great to meet everybody.
And everybody was so friendly.
The nine days I was there went like, pew, gone.
Presto goneo.
It's like back to reality.
[Singing] Back to life.
I'm just joking.
Anyway.
So when it's Thursday,
If any of you are new to my channel.
Welcome.
Oh and I've got, received a lot of interest from people asking if I do travel.
And if I do come to different places.
And the answer is yes.
The reason that it worked out with Elgin,
And thank you Sarah and Tori and Donna for setting all of that up in the Elgin Youth Cafe.
Is because when I come to visit.
Like what I have done locally in Las Angeles and the area,
Is just talking at schools mostly.
And I have also done little seminars for other therapists.
And just teaching them about something that I know about.
And then they will teach us something else.
It's kind of like a peer, not supervision.
But kind of just a learning experience for everybody.
But the way that it works if,
If you are hoping that I'll travel to your community to talk.
It's definitely something that can happen.
The way that it works best is if,
First of all we'll have to fund-raise.
Because I can't afford to not only take time off of work, but also to travel.
And so, you know, getting Sean and I there and paying for the hotel.
And that gets really costly.
And so those are things that you'll have to fund-raise for.
But also, I'm willing to set up workshops and different speaking engagements with you.
But you have to let me know how to do that.
And you have to put everybody together.
And then I kind of show up and talk and hang out and all that good stuff.
And then,
Yeah, we do as much as we can to raise awareness in your area.
And also I'll do meet-ups.
And I like to learn about different mental health issues.
And how your mental health system even works.
So, if you're interested,
You can reach out to me.
Let me know.
But it'll be something that you will have to do work on.
Like Sarah and Donna and Tori did a lot of work to put inspiration week together,
And to get everyone out.
So just keep that in mind.
But, I have bag.
Will travel.
Haha.
Okay.
So anyway,
On Thursdays I do an FAQ video.
Or something about the news.
And so today I did a FAQ.
And I gathered those questions,
If any of you are like,
'Where do I ask my questions?'
Ask them below this video or the video before it.
Or you can ask it on the website katimorton.com
Under Kati's videos, Q&A for videos.
Okay.
Okay wow, we're running late.
I'm chatting a lot.
First question,
Lets get going.
'Hey Kati, I feel like my therapist isn't really talking about issues with me.'
'And he never confronts me with things I have a hard time with.'
'I asked him about this and he said I'm responsible for talking about difficult things,'
'And that he wants me to have a good structured and stable base,'
'Before developing things further and going deeper.'
'What do you think of this? I'm clueless.'
Now I wanted to talk about this because, first of all it got a lot of thumbs up.
And also, a lot of people wonder about these.
And I get a lot of questions about, you know,
What do we bring up?
And how do we bring it up?
And all of that stuff.
And it can be really confusing.
And really hard.
But this is kind of bullshit from the therapist.
I mean, I don't like to talk trash about other therapists.
And maybe I'm just misunderstanding,
Because obviously I'm hearing it through someone else.
But the way that I work with my therapist,
Eh, with my therapist. With my clients, as their therapist.
Is, yes, we're going to have hard things.
But it's my duty as the therapist,
To figure out which hard things I think are best to dive into and to focus on,
And part of our goals as a whole.
And then it's your duty as a client to do the hard work.
So I will bring it up.
I will ask the tough questions.
I will try to get you talking.
I will do all of that stuff.
But if you don't want to talk about it, then I really can't help you.
So there is the boundary.
And maybe that's what they mean.
But if you are ready to dive in to the hard things,
And they are kind of stopping you.
I may look into seeing another therapist.
Or I'd bring it up again and just say,
'I'm feeling really discouraged,'
'Because I'm really ready to dive into this stuff and I know it takes time.'
'I know it's a process. But I want to get that process started.'
'Because I feel like I'm, you know, treading water.'
Or I'm like stuck. Or plateauing. Or whatever word you want to use.
But that's how the kind of push and pull of therapy works.
I'm going to ask you the hard questions.
I'm going to, you know, lets say you have an abused past.
I'm going to say,
'Do you remember the first time you were abused, I want you to walk me through that.'
And, you know, we're going to slowly work through those things together.
But you have to do the work on the other side.
So yeah, that's how it should work.
And so if they are not even asking the hard questions.
Then maybe we'll find someone who will.
Okay.
Question number two,
'Hey Kati, what do you do, What do I do if I think that my parents are my biggest trigger?'
Now I made this a very shortened version of the actual question,
So for who asked it, for the girl who asked it, just know that I read it and I responded.
And this is just a shortened version for the video.
'I'm worried because I have to move back in with them for a bit after uni,'
'because of financial reasons. What do I do?'
I hear from a lot of you that your parents are your biggest trigger.
And there are a couple of things we can do.
First, we have to keep in mind that we can't control other people.
If they are really triggering,
Or your mom's always on a diet.
Depends on what you are struggling with.
If your parents put you down.
If they are not supportive.
I know that parents do the best they can.
I can't even imagine being a parent.
And I know it will be really hard.
And it's kind of, you know, a really difficult job.
And it can be a thankless job a lot.
So keep in mind that your parents are doing the best they can.
Most parents,
Not all.
But most, aren't doing anything to be malicious.
They either,
a) don't understand. Or,
b) are too busy and stressed out by their own shit,
That they don't take time to check in with you and see how you are doing.
There could be a lot of things going on.
But if they are your largest trigger,
We can only control ourselves.
Now you may want to put together a thing,
Where you sit down with them and tell them some things that make it hard for you.
Because then they can change, if they are willing.
But I would put a plan in place.
I work with a lot of my clients when they are going home for periods of time,
When they are going on vacation.
We have a plan.
What are your distraction tools?
What's your support team, who can you reach out to?
What's your schedule looking like while you're there?
We can do a lot of things to keep ourselves busy,
To surround ourselves with positive people,
To distract when things get bad.
We can prepare a speech,
To tell our parents what we're struggling with if they don't know.
I have a video about how to do that.
So search, 'Tell your parents kati morton'
I'm sure something will come up.
Because those are all things that we can do.
And at that point that's as far as we can go.
But that's a long way.
That's a lot of work.
That's a lot of distracting,
That's a lot of planning.
That's a lot of preparing.
That's a lot of communicating.
And at that point, I would hope that your parents,
Will not feel like as large a trigger as they did when you first got there.
Now I know that takes time.
But, you know, if you're going to be stuck there for a while,
It might be the best for you to just start putting a plan together,
Start practising how you want to talk to them.
What you need from them.
And lets start doing it.
Because otherwise people in our lives are just always going to be triggering.
And I'd hate to think that you wouldn't want to go home any time in your life,
Because of that.
And it would be a struggle.
And you would really have a hard time.
I'd hope that,
If you were my client, I'd hope that there would be a point in your life,
Where you can go home whenever you want,
Come and stay as long as you want.
And leave, you know, when you're ready.
And you're okay with that.
And so that would be one of my goals for you if you were my client.
So I think that you can work on those things and come to that on your own.
Okay.
And if any of you have experience with that, let us know below.
Okay, journal topic.
Thanks Courtney for sending this out.
And you ready, everybody ready?
It says,
'Hey everyone, I ran across this quote on pinterest.'
Don't you just love pinterest for quotes.
I know I do.
'And I thought it would make for an interesting journal topic.'
This is the journal topic quote.
"If you hear a voice within you say, 'You cannot paint',"
"Then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."
It's by Vincent Van Gogh.
I've heard that before, and it's a really good quote.
'I titled my journal entry "A word of advise from Van Gogh",'
'And I added the quote in it at the top of the page.'
'This quote really inspired me to focus on silencing that negative voice inside my head,'
'And remembering that I am capable. I really recommend it.'
And I want to highlight that.
And remembering that I am capable.
Because I think all of us underestimate ourselves.
Put ourselves down when we don't really need to,
And we don't have any facts to back it up.
And remembering that we're capable,
That we can.
That if there is a little bit of preparation and a little bit of guts,
We can do it.
And instead of letting that negative voice win out,
And us feel in battle all of the time.
Silence that stupid voice.
So thanks Courtney for sending that.
I hope you all love it.
I will see you Monday with my regularly scheduled video.
I love you all,
Have a good one,
Bye!
Subtitles by the Amara.org community