>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK.
FOLKS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW MY NEXT GHOST FROM
"TWIN PEAKS," "STRANGER THINGS," AND "FLEABAG."
>>> I TRIED TO KISS YOUR SISTER ON HER BIRTHDAY.
>> MY BIRTHDAY!
>> FINE, I MIX UP BIRTHDAYS AND I HAVE AN ALCOHOL PROBLEM JUST
LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS ( BLEEP ) COUNTRY!
BUT I AM HERE, AND I DO THINGS!
I PICK UP JAKE FROM ( BLEEP ).
I MAKE DESSERT FOR EASTER.
I ORGANIZE THE DOWNSTAIRS TOILET.
I FIRED THE HUMMING CLEANER.
>> YOU ENJOYED THAT.
>> I HOOVER THE CAR AND PUT UP ALL YOUR CERTIFICATES AND DON'T
MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME!
I AM NOT A BAD GUY!
I JUST HAVE A BAD PERSONALITY!
IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BRETT GELMAN!
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ >> OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD!
THANK YOU!
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO, HEY!
>> ALL RIGHT!
OH, MY GOD!
THIS IS CRAZY!
PEOPLE RISING TO THEIR FEET FOR ME?
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
>> WHAT A WONDERFUL THING.
>> Stephen: GET USED TO IT, GELLMAN.
>> I WILL.
>> Stephen: I SAW YOU AT THE EMMYS.
THAT WAS NICE.
>> Stephen: AN EMMY FOR "FLEA BAG."
>> WRITING, DIRECTOR, ACTING, CASTING, THE WHOLE DEAL.
>> YEAH, EDITOR.
>> Stephen: YOUR CHARACTER, MARTIN, IN "FLEA BAG" IS NOT A
LIKABLE GUY.
>> NO.
>> Stephen: HE HAS A TERRIBLE PERSONALITY, AS HE SAYS.
BUT IT'S NOT HIS FAULT.
YOUR CHARACTER IN "STRANGER THINGS" BECAME LOVABLE BUT WAS
CRAZY TO START OFF WITH, IRASCIBLE.
DO FANS EXPECT YOU TO BE-- DO THEY LOVE YOU FOR BEING A
TERRIBLE PERSON?
>> IT'S VERY WEIRD.
IT'S ALWAYS A VERY LONG EXPERIENCE, BECAUSE I'LL BE OUT,
AND THEN SOMEBODY WILL COME UP TO ME AND THEY'LL BE LIKE, "OH,
I HATE YOU!
I MEAN, I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOUR ACTING.
BUT BECAUSE I LOVE YOUR ACTING, I HATE YOU.
BUT I LOVE TO HATE YOU.
BUT, YOU KNOW, FOR THAT I KIND OF HATE YOU BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
YOU KIND OF MAKE ME HATE MYSELF A LITTLE BIT BECAUSE I SEE SOME
OF MYSELF IN YOU.
BUT I LOVE YOU, AND I HATE THAT ABOUT YOU, BUT I LOVE THAT ABOUT
YOUR ACTING."
AND THAT'S-- THAT'S LIKE -- >> Stephen: THAT'S VERY
COMPLEX.
YEAH.
>> THIS LITTLE-- LITTLE DANCE WE DO, YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE PART OF MARTIN WHEN YOU
AUDITIONED?
>> I DIDN'T AUDITION.
>> Stephen: WHOA!
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THUD.
"I DIDN'T AUDITION."
>> I'M ONE OF THOSE FEW ACTORS FROM THE BEGINNING OF MY CAREER
IT WAS OFFER ONLY.
NO, I'M JUST KIDDING.
NO, IT HAPPENED IN A REALLY RANDOM WAY.
I GOT, LIKE, A CALL ON A WEDNESDAY FROM AN AMAZON
EXECUTIVE.
AND HE WAS LIKE, "HEY, WE'VE GOT THIS TERRIBLE GUY WE THINK YOU
WOULD JUST BE PERFECT FOR TO PLAY.
COULDN'T REALLY THINK OF ANYBODY ELSE FOR IT.
WE'LL SEND YOU-- YOU KNOW, WE SHOPT THE PILOT AND WE HAVE THE
SCRIPTS.
WE'D LOVE YOU TO DO IT."
I WAS LIKE, "GREAT, I CAN'T WAIT TO CHECK IT OUT."
"IF YOU COULD LET ME KNOW REALLY SOON BECAUSE YOUR FIRST DAY OF
SHOOTING IS TUESDAY."
>> Stephen: WOW.
OVER THERE.
>> OVER THERE.
>> I FLEW TO LONDON.
NEVER HAD BEEN THERE BEFORE.
>> Stephen: NEVER BEEN TO LONDON?
>> NOW I HAVE.
>> Stephen: WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD, WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD.
>> EXACTLY.
>> Stephen: SHOCKING, ISN'T IT?
>> YEAH, IT IS REALLY SHOCKING.
>> Stephen: YOU WERE IN THE SIXTH-EVER EPISODE OF "THE
COLBERT REPORT."
AND I DID NOT KNOW THIS UNTIL THIS AFTERNOON.
I KNEW THE BIT-- >> I DIDN'T WANT-- I DIDN'T WANT
TO TELL YOU THE OTHER NIGHT WHEN I SAW YOU UPON PIFS LIKE, "DO I
SAY THIS?" I WAS TELLING YOU A LOT OF
THINGS, WE MAY OR MAY NOT CONNECTED.
>> Stephen: WE HAD A RECURRING BIT WE WANTED TO DO.
WE DID IT THREE TIMES.
WE WANTED TO DO IT FOREVER ON THE OLD SHOW.
THE IDEA WAS-- WE WERE THE LAST SHOW OF THE NIGHT ON COMEDY
CENTRAL, AND WE WOULD TOSS TO THE NEXT SHOW, WHEN WAS THE
MORNING SHOW THAT DIDN'T EXIST, WHEN WE CALLED "YET ANOTHER
DAY."
AND YOU WERE THE FIRST COHOST OF "YET ANOTHER DAY."
AND I KNOW IT'S YOU, AND I DON'T RECOGNIZE YOU.
JIM.
>> LET'S SEE WHAT CHRISTINA AND SPENCER HAVE PLANNED FOR US
TOMORROW ON OUR MORNING SHOW "YET ANOTHER DAY."
>> THANKS, STEPHEN.
TOMORROW ON "YET ANOTHER DAY ITS WE GET A CHICK FREN "CHICKEN
SOUP TO THE SOUL CONTRIBUTOR."
SHE WILL BE SHOWING US HOW TO MAKE CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE
STOMACH.
>> PLUS, EVER WONDERED IF YOU SHOULD PET YOUR CAD CAT?
WE'LL FILL YOU IN ON SOME OF THE HIDDEN DANGERS.
>> AND I'LL TRY TO FORGET I HAVE A MASTERS IN JOURNALISM FROM
COLUMBIA.
>> ALL THAT AND TWO OTHER THINGS ON "YET ANOTHER DAY."
>> Stephen: DO YOU-- DO YOU REMEMBER?
BECAUSE, LITERALLY-- >> OH, MY GOD!
>> Stephen: LITERALLY, THE SHOW-- THE SHOW WAS SIX DAYS OLD
WHEN WE SHOT THAT.
WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS-- LIKE, THIS WAS GOING TO BE A
LONG-RUNNING BIT?
>> I MEAN, FIRST OF ALL, I WATCH IT AND I LOOK LIKE I WAS WORKING
THE DELI AT YOU KNOW CARNEGIE DELI OVER THERE.
NO, BUT I WAS LIKE, "OH, MY GOD!
I'M A STAR NOW!
I'VE MADE IT.
I'VE MADE IT!
I'M ON THE 'COLBERT REPORT'.
THIS IS A BIT.
I'LL BE BACK."
AND THEN NOTHING.
>> Stephen: WE CUT YOU IMMEDIATELY.
AND I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE.
>> I APPRECIATE IT.
BUT I UNDERSTAND, I UNDERSTAND, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE YOU HAVE A
WHOLE SHOW TO RUN.
YOU'VE GOT THIS REALLY TALENTED GUY IN THERE, AND YOU'RE LIKE,
"OH, GOD, I LIKE HIM BUT I DON'T TOTALLY KNOW HOW TO USE HIM.
I LIKE HIM A LOT, BUT I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM ALL THE TIME."
YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE SAID.
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: "HE'S REALLY GOOD.
HE'D LOOK BETTER WITH A BEARD, BUT HE'S REALLY GOOD!"
>> YEAH, AND WAY LESS HAIR.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF HAIR.
>> DO I?
>> Stephen: BUT NOW YOU'RE ADMITTING IT.
NOW YOU'RE ADMITTING IT.
THEN YOU WERE-- IT WAS LIKE THIS.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> NO, WELL, THEY USED TO, LIKE, FLUFF ME UP THEN.
AND I WAS LIKE, "DON'T DO THAT.
DON'T DO THAT.
JUST COMB IT."
>> Stephen: I LOVE YOU.
THERE'S NOTHING TO FLUFF, I'M SORRY.
THERE WAS NO FLUFFING AVAILABLE.
THERE WAS NO FLUFFING.
>> I SOMETIMES GET ASKED, "HEY, DO YOU WANT US TO FILL IT IN?"
I DID IT ONCE.
I DID AN EPISODE-- I HAD ONE LINE ON "CALIFORNICATION" AND
THEY SPRAYED ME DOWN WITH "MILLION DOLLAR HAIR" THEY
CALLED IT.
DID NOT LOOK LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: A MILLION LIRA.
BRETT, SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: SO GREAT TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: WE'LL GET TO YOUR BOOK NEXT TIME.
"FLEABAG" IS STREAMING ON AMAZON NOW.
BRETT GELMAN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.