What happens when someone hits you?
What happens when someone pushes you?
You end with a scar, a bruise an injury
an injury
something to show
But, what happens when someone insults you
demeans you disrespects you
or even worse
says that your feelings and thoughts are crazy
What do you have to show then?
Nothing
Here are 5 must know signs of emotional abuse
and how you may be experiencing it without even realizing
My name is Olympia and if you are new to my channel make sure to introduce yourself
in the comments below
If you are not, welcome back folks.
I have a degree in Cognitive Neuroscience
and what I like to do? I like to dissect that
pretty little brain of yours and see what makes it tick
but also what makes you talk
So if you want me to help you decipher what is going on up here
and give you guys some perspective on those BIG and
little questions in life. Make sure
to SMASH that subscribe button and ring that bell
so you guys get notified when I make new videos EVERY Thursday
Let's start
So first of all obvious question, what is emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse is any abuse that is not physical in nature
that involves the emotions
It can go from verbal abuse to constant criticism
to more subtle ways
such as manipulation, intimidating the person constantly and refusing to be pleased
Now unlike other videos out there, including mine
I don't want to throw you guys a bunch of definitions on the types of emotional abuse
such as gaslighting and negging
all of which i've discussed in previous videos, I will link them below
But today I wanted to focus on the emotion part of emotional abuse
Now if you've watched my previous videos you know they're a bit more sciency
Feel free to binge watch
So here are five common signs/emotions/feelings
that indicate that you may be emotionally abused
So let's start
Sign #1
of feeling #1
You are just wrong
That's it
What you do is wrong, what you feel is wrong
what you think is wrong
Everything about you, your whole existence
is wrong
Emotional manipulation is all about seeding self-doubt
criticism, making the person feel worthless
and what faster way to do this
than basically saying that everything that person is, everything that person represents
is just wrong...
Sign #
or feeling #2
You feel that your feelings and thoughts are stupid
simple as that
You are afraid to say what you feel because you think you are overreacting
and you are afraid to say what you think because
you feel it's stupid
You feel like you have nothing to offer to your partner, to the conversation
and worst of all you feel that if you do
express your thoughts that the person may call you out
and say...
Why would you say such a stupid thing?
Don't you ever think before you open your mouth?
Now these are very common responses from a person who is emotionally abusing you
So you just end up keeping silent, because literally you are afraid to express yourself
So my video question for you guys today is
Has a person ever made you feel ashamed of your thoughts or feelings?
Let me know in the comments below
Sign #3
or feeling #3
You don't respect yourself
you think that you are worthless, you think you have nothing to offer the world
your thoughts and feelings are pretty much insignificant
and because you feel you have nothing to offer
you are also terrified that the person may leave you
you may also feel like you have nothing to offer that person, because you're thinking
why the heck is that person with me, when he is smarter
when he is better, more handsome
same thing can go for a girl
and you're thinking "Wow that person is amazing, they love me
even though I'm worthless, even though I don't offer them anything
Now this has gone to a severe extent to emotional abuse
but this is what I mean, when I'm saying that you may be experiencing without even realizing it
My channel is all about perspective. First of all I want to ask you guys a simple thing
I want to ask you to think back and tell me a moment in your life
where you did feel that you had something to offer
If you want, share that moment below in the comments
But after that
I want to change your perspective a little
Imagine you were a mom, imagine you were a dad
a friend
No, actually let's stick to parent. So imagine you are a parent
and I want you to take all these thoughts, all these feelings
of "I'm not worth anything, I have nothing to offer the world
everything I think is stupid, everything I say is stupid
and as a parent
would you allow your kid to think like that?
Because personally, when I'm about to go down that rabbit hole, that dark rabbit hole
where I'm thinking "What can I offer the world?"
that's where I kinda turn my perspective and think
If my kid ever turned around and said that to me
I would be furious
I would be thinking what did I do wrong?
I did not raise you to think of yourself like that
now maybe you have a good relationship with your parents
and you can even
imagine your mom, or your dad or your parents in general
thinking like that
Would your parents want you to be thinking the way you are thinking right now?
or you can do the exercise where you're imagining
your own kid turning around and telling you this
Would you accept that? And if the answer is no
then why do you accept it for yourself?
why do you allow yourself to feel those feelings
Isn't that a bit hypocritical?
Sign #4
or feeling #4
You feel like when you ask for something
you are being selfish. You feel like if you get
what you ask for that that may be used against you
You see emotional manipulators
will sometimes give you things
in order to remind you later that you owe them something
and this really sticks with you and it can be transcended
to future relationships, because every time when someone
tries to give you something, you think that strings are attached
which is really unfair to the other person, who
genuinely wants to give you something
Emotional manipulators will use your boundaries,
before they trash them
will view them as selfish fences
instead of accepting them like an emotionally
healthy person. So if you are a person that has difficulty
receives acts of kindness or you fear
whatever kindness you do receive may
be used as "guilt fuel" for the future
to get something back. There may be a strong chance
that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship
and lastly Sign #5
You feel like there is no future
and it's not the gaze of "I don't know where I'm going"
I don't know who I am, what am I suppose to do
Those are healthy questions that
a person asks themselves, it's part of self-development
No. This is more of
this is my life
I accept it. But when you try to think of your future
you can't think of
what you're going to do, what you will be doing
what you want.
And I'm gonna tell you why
Emotional manipulation like I've said in my previous videos
is all about control
So this person controls your feelings
you surroundings, your thoughts. So let me ask you something
How can you envision a future, when your future
is dependent and controlled by someone else?
How can you draw out a future, when you've given
the pen and paper to another person
Think about it
I will be doing a video on
emotional abuse and how to break the cycle, because identifying
the problem is step 1
fixing the problem is step 2
but using that pain
from emotional abuse as a fuel to get out
and to have future and healthy relationships
well that's the ultimate step right? That's what we all want
What I can say as an emotional abuse survivor
is that you are not alone
even though nor I nor anyone else
can feel the exact way you're feeling
there is common ground between all of us
and if you have identified with any of these feelings
that I have expressed, then you either know
or are realizing that you may be
emotionally abused
But there is a difference between a victim and a survivor
A victim surrenders themselves to the pain
they adopt a passive behavior
a survivor uses that pain
and turns it into power, uses that pain as fuel
to take active steps to get out of that situation
whatever that situation is
Are you ready to be a survivor?
Are you ready to be a little rebel against emotional abuse
Let me know in the comments below
Now don't forget to check out my other videos on emotional abuse and manipulation
If you like what I said, don't forget to
SMASH that subscribe button, make mama algorithm love me
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and that's it folks!!