Hi, Billy Mays here! Do you want some crap you shouldn't buy?
SHUT UP!
(Music plays)
See, I told you Stephen Hawking can drive.
Fine.
Take it.
Thank you.
Hi, Billy Mays here the star of dozens of infomercials.
Do you ever wish that you can be me and Billy Mays?
Both: Yes.
Well, I'm Billy Mays, and looking for a stunt devil for
my next commercial, and it could be you!
Auditions will be held this Friday!
Competitional will be tough,
so practice your in personation of me, Billy Mays!
Dude, I'm so good at impressions like...
Wow this will be like easy.
Wow.
That was by Christopher Walken.
Ha! How do you like those sweet moves?
I just walked on water.
Ha, Ha! Pretty sweet-
Hey, Anthony, so I did a little research, and I found there's only
one thing we need to look like Billy Mays.
What's that?
His sweet-ass beard.
Well, what are we gonna do? Get fake beards?
No, man. The auditions in a week,
we just grow our beards out.
Alright.
I try my beard I try my beard on
Anthony, what's wrong, man?
Oh my god! What happened your face?!
Every time I try to grow a beard out,
it just drills all patchy like this.
Look, I know not everyone can grow
such an awesome beard like myself.
With enough hard work, and determination
by George I'll have you growing the
most amazing beard in the world!
Now, are you with me or not?!
Yeah!
Let's go.
(Piano Theme Music starts to play)
(Screams)
(Cries)
(Screams over and over)
Hey, these are pretty good.
Oh yeah!
Go on.
Go, alright.
Hi, Billy Mays here with this exciting new product!
From the makers of easy step, we bring you...
The easy sweep!
With 2,000 bristles, it has maximum sweeping power!
Not just that. It's made of super lightweight carbon fiber.
That's the same material F1 racing cars are made out of.
So you better order, before this exciting new product is sold out.
It's gonna go quick!
It's like is that good? Okay, um, please pick me.
Next!
Hey, so, did you make it?
Well, let's see. They said I didn't look,
or sound like him, so that's a no.
Really? I'm coming back for another interview.
What? No, no, no.
Yeah, I am. They said I have to act like
I'm Billy Mays until then.
Well, why?
I don't know, some kind of weird test they do
for everyone that passes.
See, 'cause I thought I did a better Billy Mays impersonation.
I guess I'm just a natural, huh?
Huh? Maybe I'm just a natural.
Maybe I'm just a big stupid dumb ass.
You know what? Go get a ride with somebody else,
big arrogant Billy Mays look-alike prick!
Are you serious?
Yeah, I'm serious. Go away.
(Muffled Screams)
Um, excuse me. Are you Billy Mays?
No. Well... Actually, yes, I am Billy Mays as a matter a fact.
Okay, thanks.
(Groans)
Hi, Billy Mays here! Why am I only... Am I humping?
Billy Mays doesn't hump.