- [Producer] Today, you're here to try...
rum!
- Of course, we are.
Look at us.
I've never seen two people
(Justine laughs) more suited to try rum.
- Let's get ready to rumble.
(hype music)
- We're drinking rum. (Shannon claps)
- Aye, aye, matey.
- I've had Captain Morgan and Coke and Captain Morgan,
so that's not too bad.
- I like rum, it makes me feel like a pirate.
Ever commandeer a boat?
- (laughs) No.
- Well, loosen that tie.
(Justine laughs) (Martin laughs)
(hype music)
- Appleton Estate! (laughs)
I just bought a bottle of this.
- Oh my God.
- So this is Appleton Estate signature blend.
Jamaican rum.
- Ooh.
- What is that color?
I'm like, I don't know.
(Martin laughs) (Justine laughs)
- Jamaican me crazy.
- Jamaican rum? No, she ran away herself. (Justine laughs)
that kind of joke.
- Here we go. Let the games begin.
- Ooh.
- Oh-oh my.
- Isn't it nice and smooth?
- It is actually really nice.
- (snaps fingers) Oh boy. Oh, oh, oh.
- Shiver me timbers. (laughs) (Martin laughs)
- It's starting to burn at the back of my throat.
Like, now, the aftertaste,
like, a few seconds later is burny.
- Yeah.
- There's a sweetness actually to it, though,
when it stops burning.
Trust that, wait for it.
Sit up, sit up.
Let it go down.
It's trapped in a pipe somewhere.
- Oh, just go down.
(Irish laughs) Just go away.
Just get out. (laughs)
Get out of my throat.
- It's nice.
It's very warmed on the throat, isn't it?
- It is very nice, yeah. - Yeah.
- And very warm.
- Very warm. - Like a hug.
Yeah, you forget you're sharing a bed
with no one drinking this.
(Justine laughs)
- It's warm.
It's tingly.
It's a nice, little, sexy, curvy bottle.
I really enjoy a nice little bottle.
This one, she's got some curves and swerves.
- [Producer] Rum is liquor made
by fermenting then distilling sugar cane molasses
or sugar cane juice.
So, it's made from sugar cane.
- Oh, wow.
- I knew there was a sweetness to it.
That's kind of mad.
It is, yeah.
It's like sugar for adults.
- It's very nice.
Look. (laughs) Let's cut the BS here.
(Justine laughs)
It's a 10 out of 10.
- Rum is fun.
Rum is a really fun drink.
You know, when you think of rum,
you think of, like, a fun party.
You think of Malibu.
You think of, like, really fun holiday drinks.
The best part about it is it does burn,
but unlike whiskey,
there's a sweet taste after it,
and I'm okay with that.
- Yeah, I've heard better rums
because it's too akin to a whiskey.
I do enjoy it.
- Just say 10,
and move on.
- It's a 10.
- Thank you. - Yarrr!
(both laughing)
(hype music)
- So, have you been on land a long time now?
- Yeah, and to be honest,
I'm not as comfortable.
You know, I'm more comfortable on the high seas.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, here's the rum.
- Oh. (Martin laughs)
(Justine laughs)
- Oh my God, is that your man
from "Pirates of the Caribbean", the octopus?
- Could be.
- (laughs) Oh, oh, oh. - Look at this.
This looks dangerous.
Like, you found it on a pirate ship.
- I love Kraken rum.
- Yeah?
- It's crackin'.
- It's literally called The Kraken. (laughs)
- Oh no.
- It looks great,
I have to say.
- Yeah?
- No, no, no, I'm talking about the rum.
(Justine laughs)
Genuinely the bottle.
- The Kraken is wild.
I mean, I love a good mythological tale
on a mythological beast.
And the kraken is crazy.
- This is what the kraken releases.
Instead of ink, there's this stuff.
- There's a bit of a piratey vibe of off rums in general,
isn't it? - Yes.
Like, there's an octopus on that.
It's a very...
- Yep.
- Yeah. (laughs)
- You don't get more pirate-y than an octopus.
Is this the creature the kraken?
Nope, it's a big octopus.
It's famous in the piracy times.
(Justine laughs)
(Martin laughs)
- I know everybody's going to say it,
but release the kraken.
- Oh, that's lovely.
- Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. - Wow.
- Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
(Martin laughs)
- Oh, oh, oh. (whines)
- Like, I'm beginning to appreciate rum more and more.
It's a different kind of burn.
It's a different mouth feel,
but I'm just enjoying rum a lot more
in the past couple of months.
- My throat is just like, "No."
- But then, caramel.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- Like, how did you give that last one a 10?
What's this meant to be? 10,000?
- It's a higher 10.
- I preferred the Appleton Estate, is gorgeous.
That's more, like, ambery and, like, warmy
whereas this one is quite heavy.
- I could sit here with the bottle.
- Do you want me to leave?
- I wouldn't mind. (laughs) (Justine laughs)
- That's actually really nice.
And, like, if you know someone that's really into rum,
I'd say, get them a bottle of that.
- And you're going to take it away now,
but I don't want you to.
Like, for the rest of the shoot,
I just want to keep it here.
- I think this is Martin's child.
Quite frankly,-- - My child.
- I don't think it should be taken away
from his father.
- I slept with an octopus.
(Justine laughs)
And this is the result.
(hype music)
- It looks like Red Bull.
- It does.
- This smells light
(bottle hits table)
and sweet.
- Mount Gay.
(Justine laughs)
- Leave it.
Leave it.
(Irish Jesus laughs)
- I've had it before.
I believe it's very popular in the US of A.
- It's the world's oldest rum producer,
so these guys were definitely drinking rum on the ships.
- This the oldest rum.
I mean, I'll be honest.
- This is the oldest rum ever.
This is the oldest rum,
and those people in this shoes
(finger taps on table) aren't dressed classy?
- Apparently, this is going to be perfectly balanced.
Aroma, medium-bodied-- - It's smells balanced.
- Its water source is pure, coral-filtered spring water.
- Not bad.
- Ooh. - Lovely, juicy, fresh liquid.
- Lovely water.
- Surely, if there's any justice,
if they have any sense (Justine laughs)
of the disrespect they're causing,
they're going to go,
"Actually, we're not going to try this
(Justine laughs)
because we haven't dressed up enough for it."
- Let's just go for a hike off Mount Gay.
- And let's see what happens. Cheers.
- Cheers.
(Irish Jesus laughs)
Queers.
- I can say that. (laughs)
I'm allowed to.
- It's so smooth.
- Oh, it's good as well.
- Oh, that stuff.
- Oh, it's all good.
(Nicole hoots)
- (Slurring) Oh, oh, oh.
- Oh. (laughs)
- It's basically water.
- It's so smooth.
- And this is coming from me.
- Wow. This is the smoothest.
(Shannon laughs) Okay.
- I could have some Kraken and Mount Gay,
but, like,
(Martin laughs)
which do I prefer? Kraken.
- I think I prefer the Kraken.
- Yeah, like, this is definitely better
than the first one.
- Yeah.
- I thought this was really smooth.
It's less sweet,
but I think it went down easier.
- Easier than the first maybe.
- Mount Gay is a gay ol' time.
- Yeah.
- So it's really enjoyable.
- How's this? Is this a 10?
- Here's what I'll say to you, (laughs)
because the rating system's kind of, like, out the window.
Let's be honest.
The last one was two 10s.
The first one was one 10.
This is a 10-and-a-half.
- I fully understand what you mean.
I'm there with you.
- [Producer] Overall thoughts on Mount Gay then?
- It's fine.
- It's a grand, grand liquor.
No, rum.
Jesus Christ. (laughs)
(hype music)
- Oh, look at this.
Take the bottle.
The last one? - Yeah.
You have to give the bottle it's prayer.
- This is 42%,
so we've got the next 2% now.
- We're getting topped off for relief,
pretty much. (laughs)
- It smells very sweet and seductive.
I would take that to bed.
- (laughs) Oh wow.
You've never looked more like an aunty trying to be sexy.
(Justine laughs)
(Martin laughs)
- Are you afraid of burn?
- I'm really scared. (laughs)
- We're afraid of the burn today.
- Oh, oh, oh.
- Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, that's a shudder.
- 'Cause the other tasted like water,
and this tastes like alcohol. (laughs)
That's the difference.
- It's like petting a dog that's the right height.
(Justine gasps)
You don't even have to bend over.
The dog's actually just tall.
You can just (whooshes)
- Usually, when they torture you,
and then give you caramel,
at the end, it's a nice little...
a nice little trade.
(Nicole laughs)
There's no caramel here. (laughs)
- It taste more, like, manufactured.
It tastes more, like, chemically than the other rums.
Like, this is going to sound so shitty.
But, like, the other rums,
you were like, "Ooh, I'm on the beach",
but, like, you can tell that this guy is like,
"I want to make that on the beach feel,
but I'm not feeling like I'm on a beach."
- It's just like stroking a dog.
- It is.
- Yeah.
(Justine laughs)
It's the kind of rum you can stroke to.
- It's-- Do you know what I mean?
- Yeah. (laughs) (Martin laughs)
(hand slams table)
I'm going to rum. (laughs)
I'm going to rum. (taps table) (Martin laughs)
(Justine laughs)
(Justine claps)
- Oh. - Oh.
- Oh God. (laughs)
- You don't have a palette for this.
- I'm sorry.
It's cool and all.
I get it.
My old man friend might fucking like drinking it,
you know, Dermot,
but other than that...
(Nicole laughs)
- You go into these shoots thinking you're Ciara
and then, you come out leaving.
You realize you're Dermot.
- (laughs) Ooh, no.
- [Producer] Has it lost the sweetness?
(Shannon laughs)
- Yes, (coughs) it has lost the sweetness. It's--
- Did you cough?
- Yeah.
- Ciara coughed,
so that says it all.
- It's beyond a 10.
(Justine laughs)
I don't know how much more (laughs) over a 10.
But I'm not sure between this and the last one.
Maybe, we should try them all again.
Is that possible?
Why are you looking at your watch? (laughs)
(Justine laughs)
- Now, that was really fun.
- I like rum.
- Yeah.
- Except for the last one.
- So we've both come out of here
with a new appreciation for rum.
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- [Producer] So, any closing thought about rum?
- Rum's savage.
But watch out for it.
- I mean, what setting would you have a rum though?
- (laughs) Have you ever commandeered a ship?
(Justine laughs)
You're steering the ship.
You're going,
"Lads, do you want me to go port or starboard?"
- Can we just get an Uber out here instead?
(Martin laughs) Fuck's sake, c'mon.
- Yarrr!
- Ye mateys, did ya have grand aul' goody time?
- Oh my God, you're a Dub. (laughs)
- Ye mateys best do be subscribin'. (laughs)
- Subscribe and like. (laughs)
- It's too funny. - I don't know! I can't do an accent.
I'm just a granny forever. (whines)
- Click the bell.