[Music]
hi again I'm Jimmy I'm the host the show
greetings to those of you who joined me
earlier tonight on Who Wants to Be a
Millionaire thank you for watching that
we are beaming to you from my house
which is where I spend every minute of
my life now my closest friends are my
pillows if nothing else this experience
of being cooped up has taught me that I
would never survive in space three days
into the mission I'd be in the escape
pod trying to find a Costco on the moon
this is a big day for the planet by the
way today is Earth Day today is the 50th
and final Earth Day here in LA not long
after midnight last night we got hit
with an earthquake I was in bed the
earth got up early and won't everyone up
like a five-year-old on her birthday
today I will say though it was scary
because the epicenter was close by it
was in town but it was kind of
refreshing to worry about being killed
by something else for a change
Donald Trump celebrated Earth Day today
with a shovel the president the first
lady and Mike and Karen pence gathered
on the South Lawn to dig a hole to bury
his hair in look at how natural they are
doing physical labor in their suits and
heels well honey is praying right now
they don't dig too close to her escape
tunnel so at the planning the second
lady Karen pence was asked to say a few
words and it was refreshing because
finally someone in this administration
is speaking truth while this tree makes
the earth better and stronger we talked
a lot about mental health and that's an
issue that I know the first lady has
been dealing with her whole time that
she's been first lady boy yeah she she
she's been dealing with it the whole
time since she said I do this is um not
great news the director of the Center
for Disease Control dr. Robert Redfield
says there could be a second wave of the
virus later this year that might be
worse than this one
because it would come
with flu season it could stretch our
medical resources even thinner than they
already are basically he said the next
version of the virus could be like The
Matrix Reloaded just as popular but
worse but the good news is well there is
no goodness and we're getting mixed
messages from our government most
experts say stay in your home but our
president says go get a tattoo and a bus
station and that has given rise to stay
at home protests around the country even
though the CDC has been very clear
saying Americans should avoid gatherings
of any kind the guy in charge of them
seems to think they're totally fine
people want to get back to work
and I've watched some of the protests
not in great detail but I've seen that
and they're separated there's a lot of
space in between I mean they they're
watching believe it or not social been
doing social distancing if you can
believe it and they are and they're
protesting but then they're the groups
I've seen have been very much spread out
sure
look at how very much spread out these
protesters in Raleigh were yesterday
[Music]
[Applause]
mom stop yelling you're embarrassing us
do not tell me not to yell you
ungrateful little you think these
fireworks are gonna sell out of the
trunk of the car themselves but as
ridiculous as this president is he's not
alone he got a run for his money today
from the mayor of Las Vegas who well
let's put it this way our Kelly was
watching this interview and said this
woman is nuts mayor Carolyn Goodman
revealed her lunacy to Anderson Cooper
in the whole country today
she believes that Las Vegas is ready to
open the casinos now but you're
encouraging I mean hundreds of thousands
of people coming there in casinos
smoking drinking touching slot machines
breathing circulated air and then
returning home to States around America
and countries around the world doesn't
that sound like a virus petri dish I
mean how is that it sounds like you're
being an alarmist I'm not I've lived a
long life I grew up in the heart of
Manhattan I know what it's like to be
with subways and on buses you don't
believe there should be any social
distancing you don't believe that's up
to them to figure out I don't want to
casino I don't even own any books if you
watch that back you can see the moment
where Anderson's soul leaves his body it
was a long interview she went on and she
was like the you know that dizzy
neighbor you try to pretend you don't
see when you're pulling into the garage
the gist of what she was saying was why
should we treat this virus any
differently from anything else we've had
polio we've had these none of those were
as infectious in Las Vegas I mean you
didn't have people with Ebola on a
casino floor you know what if you don't
know that well yet you do because if you
had a neighbor of mine died from West
Nile because the swimming pool on the
next property was filled with mosquitoes
and the people who had abandoned the
house left the pool 400 and then you're
right we should reopen Vegas reopen the
case
nose and drain the pools somehow she was
elected last year with more than 80
percent of the vote in Las Vegas and I
can see why mayor Goodman has a lot of
thoughts and the one thing those
thoughts have in common is that none of
them make any sense
how do you know until we have a control
group we offered to be a control group
anybody knows anything about statistics
knows difference into evidence or
offerings of Las Vegas to be a control
group to see if your theory on social
distance what I said was I offered to be
a control group and I was told by our
statistician you can't do that come on
Anderson she isn't offering Las Vegas as
a control group she offered them as a
control group and they told her she
can't it's totally different somehow
Las Vegas elected every lady you've ever
seen at a Baywatch slot machine to be
their mayor many if not most businesses
around the country are shut down right
now but there's one establishment in
Bend Oregon that refuses to surrender to
anything not even the coronavirus can
stop the last blockbuster on earth it's
still open the movie rental business is
offering curbside pickup during the
pandemic customers can call the store
ahead of time order a movie and pull
right up to the front to grab it stores
general manager says they'll survive
this challenge for the same reasons
they've stayed in business all these
years because the man in Bend Oregon are
still horny for Shannon Tweed movies on
VHS good for blockbuster if they can
make it so can we
American companies have had to make
major adjustments over the past month
every commercial now seems to be
tailored to suit the coronavirus era car
companies restaurant chains every
business has one of these earnest
straightforward cautiously uplifting ads
now to remind customers that they are
here for us now and always have been
this one I thought was particularly
effective right now
we're facing uncertain times none of us
know what challenges lie ahead but one
thing's for sure Americans stand strong
when it's time for us to band together
we do when it's time to lend a hand
we lend to Americans get the job done
with a little boost from Beast blast
power energy drink together we'll meet
this crisis and beat it with a blast of
the beast new flavor man glow in the
dark the Beast alright we are going to
take a break but when we come back it
will be hammer time with the god of
thunder Chris Emsworth