>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT -- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
MY NEXT GUEST TONIGHT DOES WHAT I DO BUT WITH A CHARMING ACCENT.
PLEASE WELCOME THE HOST OF "THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW," GRAHAM
NORTON!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> HI, EVERYBODY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WOW!
DID THEY ALL GOOGLE ME BEFORE I CAME OUT?
THEY SEEM TO KNOW WHO I AM!
>> Stephen: WE HANDED OUT PAMPHLETS.
>> INFO SHEETS.
>> Stephen: EVERYBODY KNOWS.
THEY WATCH YOU ONLINE.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU.
LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: I ADMIRE YOUR SHOW, YOUR SKILL, BUT I ADMIRE
ON YOUR TELEVISION YOU CAN WEAR COLORFUL THINGS.
YOU LOOK LOVELY.
>> THIS I BOUGHT MYSELF.
THIS IS MODEL'S OWN.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW EVEN KNOW WHERE I GOT MY GLASSES.
( LAUGHTER ) >> YOU LOOK SHARP, THOUGH.
>> Stephen: SO DO YOU.
THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, YOU SAID ONE OF THE DIFFERENCES
BETWEEN THE SHOWS IN ENGLAND AND OVER HERE, YOUR SHOW AND MY
SHOW, YOU GET YOUR GUESTS BOOZED UP.
>> NOT BOOZED UP.
WE OFFER THEM.
IS THIS STILL WATER?
>> Stephen: IT IS.
BUT WE HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> THAT'S A WELCOME!
I'D LOVE SOME!
>> Stephen: THIS IS SOME OF THAT --
>> HAVE YOU GOT ICE OR ARE YOU LIKE ANIMALS?
>> Stephen: ONE CUBE OF ICE WILL BE VERY EUROPEAN.
>> NICE.
ARE YOU RATIONING ICE NOW?
>> Stephen: NO, I DON'T WANT TO FREAK YOU OUT BY HAVING MORE
THAN ONE ICE CUBE.
THERE YOU GO.
>> WHAT IS THIS?
>> Stephen: ICE.
IT'S WHAT SANK THE TITANIC.
( LAUGHTER ) >> WE SHOULD STEER CLEAR.
OOOH!
>> Stephen: HERE WE GO.
TO TALKING FOR A LIVING.
>> YES, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: THAT IS TASTY.
IT IS WEIRD THAT TWO TALK SHOW HOSTS SHOULDN'T MEET.
THIS IS LIKE DOGS SNIFFING AROUND EACH OTHER.
IT'S KIND OF WRONG.
>> Stephen: YOU SMELL DELIGHTFUL, I MUST SAY.
I PROMISE NOT TO HUMP YOUR LEG.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU LIVE IN THE U.K.
>> I DO.
>> Stephen: CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OVER
THERE?
BECAUSE WE'VE ALL BEEN WATCHING, LIKE, QUESTIONS OF THE PRIME
MINISTER, WE'VE ALL BEEN WATCHING PARLIAMENT FOR THE LAST
FEW DAYS, IT'S ABSOLUTE CHAOS.
>> IT'S NUTS.
YOU DON'T NORMALLY SEE THAT.
YOU DON'T NORMALLY SEE THE INSIDE OF PARLIAMENT WHERE IT IS
ABSOLUTE BEDLAM.
BUT I THINK THE UNITED KINGDOM WAS EMBARRASSED FOR AMERICA,
FELT LIKE YOU'RE ALL ALONE OUT ON THE WORLD STAGE, SO WE FOUND
OUR OWN ANGRY CABBAGE PATCH KID, AND --
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) -- AND MADE HIM THE LEADER.
IT'S INCREDIBLE!
IT'S, LIKE, YOU KNOW THE G7, SUDDENLY YOU FELT LIKE DON HAS A
FRIEND.
THEY CAN HANG OUT TOGETHER.
IT'S, LIKE, A PLAY DATE.
>> Stephen: BORIS JOHNSON LOOKS LIKE SUCH A CHEAP KNOCK
OFF OF DONALD TRUMP THAT HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE IN TIMES
SQUARE PRETENDING TO BE DONALD TRUMP TO GET YOUR PHOTO WITH OUT
THERE.
( APPLAUSE ) >> I WOULDN'T TRUST HIM TO WATER
MY PLANTS WHILE AWAY BUT HE'S THE PRIME MINISTER.
>> Stephen: EXPLAIN THIS -- I SO CAN'T EXPLAIN THIS ANYTHIN
>> Stephen: THE PRIME MINISTER IS THE LEADER OF MAJORITY IN
PARLIAMENT BUT HE LOST HIS MAJORITY TWO DAYS AGO.
WH STILL THE PRIME MINISTER?
WHAT HE CLEVERLY DID IS SAID IF ANYONE VOTES AGAINST ME IN MY
PARTY, I WILL FIRE YOU.
>> Stephen: KICK YOU OUT OF THE PARTY.
>> YES.
THEY DID VOTE AGAINST HIM AND HE FIRED THEM.
SO HIS MAJORITY GETS LESS AND LESS.
IT'S LIKE HE'S DRILLING HOLES IN HIS OWN SHIP OUT OF SPITE.
I'LL SHOW YOU, AND, LOOK, THERE'S A WORD CALLED PAROGUE,
WHICH IS LIKE SHUTTING DOWN THE PARLIAMENT.
>> Stephen: NO ONE'S HEARD THIS WORD BEFORE.
>> YOU FEEL LIKE THE QUEEN DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THE WORD.
ONE SHOULD PAROGUE?
IS THAT THE ONE WITH THE FINGER?
( LAUGHTER ) I.
>> Stephen: I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS ANYTHING SHE COULD DO
LEGALLY.
I THOUGHT SHE WAS A NICE TOURIST TRAP.
>> SHE IS.
SHE HAS TO SAY YES.
SHE CAN'T SAY NO.
SHE'S THE QUEEN.
>> Stephen: NOW YOU HAVE YOUR SECOND NOVEL TH "THE KEEPER."
WHERE DO YOU FIND THE TIME TO WRITE A NOVEL?
>> THIS IS MY HOBBY.
THIS ISN'T MY JOB, I'M NOT A NOVELIST.
>> Stephen: ARE THERE THINGS YOU LIKE MORE ABOUT THIS THAN
ACTUALLY DOING A TALK SHOW?
>> WELL, THERE'S THE THING -- YOU KNOW THIS -- THAT IN
ANYTHING WE DO, THERE HAS TO BE A MEETING.
>> Stephen: SURE.
YOU AT THE SIDE VERY LITTLE.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY.
UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE.
>> YES, UNTIL NOW.
SO IT'S JUST THAT THIS IS A SOLITAIRE OCCUPATION, AND I LOVE
THAT.
I LOVE BEING IN A ROOM BY MYSELF IN THE WORLD WITH THESE
CHARACTERS, THE BOOKS ARE SET IN IRELAND, AND, YOU KNOW, I SPEND
MY SUMMERS THERE, SO IT'S QUITE NICE TO BE IN LONDON, IN MY
OFFICE, AND GOING BACK TO IRELAND IN MY HEAD.
>> Stephen: PRETENDING IT'S LOVELY.
>> THIS HELPS, TOO.
>> Stephen: DOESN'T IT THOUGH?
CHEERS >> STEPHEN: "A KEEPER" IS
AVAILABLE NOW.
GRAHAM NORTON, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.