- (TV viewer) Reality TV is still real to me, dammit!
- (Ian) SHUT UP!!!
- (woman) I totally just saw a ghost!
- (man) Oh yeah, there's definitely a ghost here.
Let's spend the entire episode investigating.
- This show's so stupid.
Everyone knows ghosts aren't real.
- (sighs) It's just a TV show.
Can you imagine how boring it'd be
if all TV shows were actually realistic?
If TV Shows Were Real 3
Black Mirror
- Huh?
What?
Whoa!
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
- Help! Somebody help me, please.
- We're the agents of S.H.E.I.L.D.
- Don't worry, sir. You're safe!
- Oh, so you're NOT the Avengers?
- Well, not exactly.
I mean, we have agent Coulson and he was in the first Avengers,
and he has a bionic hand. - A bionic hand.
- So we're totally f*cked?
- Yeah. - Yup.
How I Met Your Mother
- Dad, tell us how you met mom.
- Yeah, tell us.
- (dad) Sure, but wouldn't you rather
I told you about all the girls I slept with beforehand,
and THEN I'll tell you about how your mom brutually died
of an awful disease?
I think it will take about nine years, so get comfy!
(sobbing)
American Horror Story
- What's even scary about this show?
- Yeah, we're just two hot male models walking down a hallway.
- Mmm, Mama June, I need my s'ghetti and Go Go Juice.
- (squeals) Kill it! - DAAAHHH!
- Squeamy genie.
Ow.
House of Cards
- Of course, Mrs. Secretary. We'll get right on that.
What the secretary doesn't realize
is by the end of the day I'm gonna throw her
in front of a train.
- (secretary) What did you just say?
- Uh, nothing.
- You know, we can still hear you
when you talk to the camera, right?
- Uh... no, you can't.
Everybody Loves Raymond
- I love you, Raymond.
- I love you, Ray.
- I love you, Raymond!
- I love you too.
- Aw, everybody loves me!
Everybody Hates Chris
- I hate you, Chris! - I hate you, Chris.
- I HATE you, Chris! - I hate you too, Chris!
- Yeah, f*ck you, Chris!
Blindspot
- Aw, the guy behind me has his blinkers on
but I just can't see him.
Oh, fck! Oh, fck!
Oh, he's right in my blind spot.
Oh, goddamn it. What am I gonna do?!
The King of Queens
- I just don't get it.
You were so hot.
Why are you with a fat ordinary guy
with no redeeming traits whatsoever?
He's literally the definition of mediocre.
- He's the funniest guy ever!
- Hey.
(hysterical laughter) (laugh track)
Oh! See how many people he just made laugh?
I don't even know where those people are.
(farting) (laugh track)
Switched at Birth
- I know this may be hard to hear,
but your child was switched at birth.
You've been raising somebody else's child.
- How dare you! THIS IS MY CHILD!!!
- He has my ears!
- He has my dig.
- See, told you it would be dumb.
Whatever, I'm actually late for my ghost hunting job anyway.
- (voice-over) Coming up on Ghost Hunters.
- I know there's a ghost up here!
There's a ghost in here.
Whoaaaaaa!
Oh my god! There it is!
I caught the ghost!
Oh my god!
- (Ian) Hey, guys, thank you so much for subscribing.
If you guys wanna see bloopers from this video,
and a scene from Undercover Boss...
- Hey, I think there's something off about this new guy.
- Hey, guys!
What do you say we get paid less?
- (Ian) ...click the video on the left.
And if you want to see the first episode of our new series
Part Timers, click the video on the right.
- He's totally hitting on you.
- Me? He's hitting on you!
- I'm not gonna have sex with him.
- Neither am I.
- We're talking about jail time here.
- (Ian) And if you have one of those touch screenie thingies,
all the links are in the description below.