(street noise)
- Peter Parker, what brings you into my office today?
- Well, I don't really know how to explain it.
I got bit by this glowing, green spider,
and ever since then I've felt different.
- Yeah? Different how?
- I feel better.
- Oh yeah?
- Stronger.
- Okay.
- Faster.
- [Narrator] Pete, always remember,
with great power comes great--
- You have radiation sickness.
- I'm sorry.
- I know it's hard to hear but yeah,
you were bit by a glowing, green, radioactive spider.
It's radiation sickness.
We have to get you on treatment immediately.
- That can't be true.
- It can be. I'm a doctor and it is.
- Then how come after I got bit, I felt really lightheaded.
- That's literally symptom number one of radiation sickness.
- But then I passed out and I was clenching
my covers really hard.
- Also a symptom.
Do you think these are good things
that are happening to you?
- Doc, doc, listen. If I were sick,
then how come I can do this?
(grunts and laughs)
- You just jumped a normal height,
was that supposed to be impressive?
- Now that I have these gifts,
I feel like I should combat evil.
- Peter, these delusions of grandeur are side effects
of very serious radiation sickness.
- Delusions?! Dude, I was just swingin' on a web,
through New York City!
Oh my god! I'm doing it.
I'm webbing! Yes!
- We live in Detroit, and I just saw you
get out of a cab ten minutes ago.
- You know what, with these abilities,
I can avenge Uncle Ben.
Uncle Ben!
No!
- What do you mean avenge Uncle Ben?
He's fine, he was in the cab with you.
- Goodbye Peter. Have fun at the doctor's
knowing that I am very much alive and well.
- You know what?
- [Doctor] Peter?
I think I can do this.
- [Doctor] What are you doing?
Stop it.
- Finally!
- [Doctor] Peter!
- Finally, I can make a difference in the world!
- Peter, that's enough!
You are very ill.
We need to start an aggressive treatment plan,
and we cannot do that with you monkeying around my office
like some kind of eight-legged monkey.
- I knew you were gonna say that,
because of my spider sense.
- That's it, I'm done.
You kids always come in here with the exact same thing.
- Woah, wait, woah.
What do you mean, "You kids"?
- Do you think you're the first teenage, aspiring reporter
to come into my office with a radioactive spider bite?
- Hello, Doctor.
- Hello.
- What's all this, then?
- Are all the other ones British?
- Unfortunately, yeah.
- Well what about that guy?
- Hey Doc, I've been feeling a little--
- You will never have radiation sickness.
And I don't care if it is Cannon.
(upbeat hip-hop music)