What image immediately comes to mind when you think of the word “success”?
Is it millions of dollars?
Is it lots of approval by people?
Is it partying on a fancy yacht in Hawaii with Rihanna and your very own pet tiger?
And although that last one was oddly specific, I think we can all agree it’s easy to automatically
assume people who have these things have quote-unquote “made it in life.”
However, this belief is flawed in more ways than one, and I can almost guarantee by the
end of this video, you’ll not only look at your life in a different way, but you’ll
see other people’s lives differently as well.
When discussing the topic of what is and what is not a successful life, I believe a great
story to base an opinion on is the episode, “Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life” from
The Simpsons.
In this episode, Lisa makes some judgements, and biases on her mother’s decision making.
It begins with Lisa looking through Marge’s achievements and accomplishments throughout
her childhood, and she is instantly impressed.
She doesn’t understand how someone so academically gifted could end up as a stay-at-home mom
years later.
It’s definitely not the lifestyle she would have chosen for herself, nor plans to choose
in the future.
Considering Lisa is pretty much a walking straight A, she begins to doubt if her grades
are good enough to avoid a future like her mother.
There is some truth to this observation by Principal Skinner.
At an early age, children treat their parents like gods, because the way their mom and dad
behave, and the way they live their lives is all is all they know, and see.
So no matter what, they’ll always carry traits from their parents both consciously,
and unconsciously.
However, this doesn’t mean they’re doomed to the same career as them.
“The School of Life” calls this dilemma, “family work scripts” Scripts that guide
children towards proven methods for survival, but can also restrict them in many ways.
Depending on how creative and ambitious the individual is, that person may decide not
to play it safe, not to rely on what has worked in the past, and to instead do something different.
Then it’s just a matter of finding a way to break out of that script, which varies
in difficulty based on the parents’ approval, and the parents’ beliefs about how hard
it is to do something different, and make money from it.
Lisa just doesn’t want to follow the script, and how can you blame her for that?
She further investigates her mom’s academic history and discovers her grades declined
dramatically once she got to the 12th grade, but what’s interesting is this was an intentional
decision by her mother, not just something that happened because she was depressed, or
her classes got “too difficult.”
These records might give off the impression that something tragic happened in her senior
year, but as I’ve said in a previous video grades don’t tell you the full story.
What actually happened was the opposite of tragic.
Lisa looks through Marge’s high school scrapbook, and discovers the moment she started dating
Homer was the moment she decided for herself her grades didn’t really matter anymore
because “she’s in love.”
Lisa sees this as a questionable decision from her point-of-view, because she believes
grades are the end all be all.
She discusses this discovery with Homer, and promises to never allow anyone, or anything
to distract her from her dreams.
Homer, carrying that “IDGAF” attitude, basically tells her, “you never know how
life may play out, so keep your options open.”
Lisa, in a stubborn, yet respectable way, pretty much ignores her dad’s advice, and
instead plans a decade ahead.
In an attempt to prevent any possible thing from distracting her in the future, she throws
away all her possessions, diversions, hobbies, and even her saxophone.
Homer breaks the news to Marge about Lisa’s determination to not end up like her mother.
Marge, of course, gets deeply upset, and takes it personally, I mean, what parent wouldn’t?
Nevertheless, in an attempt to meet Lisa half-way, Homer and Marge decide to enroll her into
a private school called “Cloisters Academy.”
This makes her happy because it pretty much guarantees that her 6 figure income future
is secured…
except no it doesn’t.
She's offered a full scholarship on the spot, and truly believes in her heart she has a
future worth getting excited about.
When Lisa wakes up in the middle of the night, she goes downstairs and finds the cold truth.
She witnesses her exhausted mom doing the entire school’s laundry, and immediately
realizes that there was never a scholarship.
Cleaning the school’s laundry was the secret deal that Marge made with the school’s principal,
so that Lisa would have permission to attend the school.
Yeah, there’s a reason why Marge wanted to beat this dude's ass, she could just sense the
dude’s a clown.
Feeling a bit of guilt about the situation, Lisa decides going to that school isn’t
worth it if it’s just going to make her mom miserable.
Even though she’s bummed out her dreams have taken a backseat, she knows in her heart
going back to her old school is the right decision.
You might think the moral of this story is, “a successful life is doing what makes you
happy” like what Marge did in her senior year, but actually, I would argue that happiness
isn’t the answer.
Why?
Because you can be happy and still be selfish.
Lisa chose unselfishness over her happiness.
Some of the wisest leaders to ever walk on Earth have famously implied that unselfishness
is the meaning of life.
That is, making sacrifices for God, and putting others before oneself, and the very acts of
those practices is what makes a life a success.
We all know in the back of our minds that there is no perfect answer to this question,
and yet, despite that, we still appreciate direction in life and have goals regardless,
almost as if there is a definite answer that exists.
We strive after what we believe would give us a great sense of satisfaction.
Some people might even argue “success is subjective” is a cop-out answer, an excuse
to not be ambitious, to not take risks, and to not take action.
Everyone’s got their own perspective, opinions and story, and that is why I was curious to
hear what other people had to say on the matter.
So for this video, I asked a couple of strangers what a successful life looks like to them,
and their answers were pretty thought-provoking.
This is a video of a homeless guy who calls himself the “happiest man in London.”
He spends his days putting smiles on people’s faces with his positive messages.
Homeless people are often looked down upon as those who have hit rock bottom, yet if
you asked this guy, I’m sure he would tell you he considers his life a total success.
If you were to ask me to give a legitimate answer for what I believe a successful life
is, it would be finding a way, or multiple ways to make a positive impact on the world,
in your own special way.
Similar to what this guy does for random people, it’s basically Marge Simpson's job to be generous
every day for her family, so I guess, in this context we could say she lives a pretty successful life.
Lisa gets the chance to truly appreciate this characteristic of her mother by the end of the episode.
It’s because of this story, the homeless man with the smile, and a few profound answers
from people I ran into, I now believe that success isn’t what you have, it’s what you give.
Don’t forget to express yourself, and thanks for watching.