- So let's talk about how to attract your soulmate,
because there are few proven techniques that can support you
in attracting that relationship in your life,
and that's exactly what we're going to talk about today.
(smooth music)
Hey, my name is Mat Boggs
and I'm the founder of the Love & Relationships Division
of the Brave Thinking Institute,
where our mission is "Empowering people
to create and live a life they love,"
and that includes your love life.
So if you like this video,
go ahead and click the subscribe button
and that little bell,
because every week we bring you videos
to empower you in your love life.
And so today we're talking about some proven techniques
to attract your soulmate.
But to have this conversation,
we first have to define soulmates.
So do you believe in soulmates, and how do you define it?
Some people define it as, there's this one and only person
that they were destined to be with.
And once they're together, it's easy and everything cruises
and it's happily ever after.
And yet I don't believe that.
And I don't know, most people who've lived life a bit
believe in that type of soulmate because it's very limiting.
When I went on the search for America's greatest marriages,
I spoke with hundreds and hundreds of couples
who've been married over 40 years.
Some of them, it was their second or even third marriage
that had lasted 40 years.
I remember speaking with one woman
who had been married 15 years
to the person that she would describe as her soulmate.
And she described it this way,
where she said it was just this ease to be together.
"We were deeply, madly in love with one another,
and it was easy to be together,
but it wasn't that we didn't have any challenges
in our relationship.
There were struggles that we had to overcome
and had to grow."
And I love that because I believe
that we are all spiritual beings
having this human experience.
I believe your purpose and my purpose are the same:
to increase our capacity to express love,
and to receive love in this world.
And soulmates are a unique person
that helps us do that in our life.
And so this woman was with this soulmate relationship
and then he got cancer and he passed away.
So what does that mean?
If you only believe that there's one and only soulmate,
then you would believe that she was destined
to spend the rest of her life without that level of love.
And I don't believe in a God like that.
I don't believe in a universe like that,
because I've seen it firsthand.
She went on to attract another amazing relationship
in her life,
the husband that she had at the time of the interview.
And she said, "I feel like, Mat,
that he's also my soulmate, but in a different unique way,
and we grow each other in different ways.
And the love is just as rich, just as fulfilling,
but it's got its own unique flavor to it."
And I was so inspired by that,
and I really believe that that's what soulmate means.
Soulmate is someone who helps you grow in a unique way
that you are meant to grow on this planet.
And there could be lots of soulmates for you,
lots of people that you can have an amazing connection with,
an amazing romance with and grow with in your life.
And so I want to share with you a couple of techniques
to draw this person into your life.
The first technique is to be clear on the top five things
that you would love in your life.
And these are the qualities
that you want this person to have,
because the clearer you are,
the more able you are to spot this person.
But most people just leave it at the qualities
that they want in the person.
I say, take it one step further and be clear
on the way you want to grow in the relationship.
Most people think,
what do I want to experience in the relationship?
And there's nothing wrong with that.
I think that's wonderful.
Dream up where you would love to go
and what you would love to experience,
and the common interest
that the two of you will experience together,
and that's beautiful and wonderful.
I really think a different level of perspective
is to bring in that idea of, how do I want to grow?
What do we want to co-create in this world?
What legacy would I love to leave?
And what partner would I love by my side
as we're growing together?
So be clear on that, because the clearer you are,
the more able you are to attract it into your life.
But here's the second piece.
The second piece is what you're releasing,
and you're releasing upgrade-itis.
Because if you are a romantic and if you love love,
it can be very tempting to always be on the lookout
for something even more spectacular, even more legendary,
where you're like, oh, the person I'm with are great.
They've got all these great qualities,
but they've got these other qualities that aren't so great.
What if there was something better out there
that I'm missing out on?
That FOMO of relationships.
You've got to release that and realize that here's the deal.
The imperfections that your person has
are perfectly designed to help you grow.
That's why they're there, that's why nobody's perfect.
It's because it's those imperfections
that are perfect for growth.
So you go attract somebody new.
Maybe they have a different set of things
that you really like, but different imperfections,
and those different imperfections are going to help you grow
in a different way.
For example,
there is a client of mine who attracted her husband,
and she really loved when she was dating this guy,
the way that he was relaxed and peaceful.
And she was very type A,
and he was very go with the flow and helped calm her down.
And she loved that, and she loves so many things about him.
And so they chose to get married.
And now, one of the areas that she's called to grow
and AKA it frustrates her, is how relaxed he is,
how go with the flow,
how he likes to take his time when he's eating meals,
or a he'll walk slowly,
because she's type A and she wants to go.
But for her, she says, it's perfect for me.
It drives me crazy and is perfect for me
because I've got to grow in this particular area.
So release, upgrade-itis.
Release the idea that there's some perfect being out there
and know that the person you're with,
if they've got your top five must haves;
if they align with you
in the way that you would love to grow,
then dive deep, pour yourself into it,
give your heart over to this experience
and you will create something absolutely extraordinary.
If you would love support with this,
we have an amazing program called Manifest Your Man
that helps you get crystal clear on exactly what you want,
how you would love to grow,
and then strategies for how to call that relationship
into your life.
I'll put the link down below this video.
Click the link, you can check out that program
and see if it's the right next step for you.
I appreciate you.
I'm in your corner cheering you on.
Here's to your amazing love life.
I'll see you soon.
(smooth music)