This is really important if you are dealing with covert narcissists,
you definitely want to watch this video to find out.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney and also a narcissist negotiation expert.
If you’re dealing with narcissists in any way, shape or form,
you're definitely going to want to subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell,
because I upload brand new videos every single day.
I've helped thousands and thousands of people
break free from the chains of toxic people and
I want to help you do the same thing.
So, are you dealing with a covert narcissist?
Covert narcissists are the absolute worst.
I have dealt with them in my personal life and
that’s why I am on this mission, this crusade,
to help you guys break free from them too,
because I know they get stuck in your head,
they know how to get stuck in the recesses of your head,
you become obsessed,
seriously, you wake up in the middle of the night,
you're thinking about it,
you wake up in the morning, you're thinking about it,
brushing your teeth, you're thinking about it,
you seriously cannot get away from this,
but, it's seriously like “Death by a Thousand Cuts”,
because they are so subtle.
I've recently heard this term, micromanipulation, and
I love this term because this is what they do.
I mean, it is so subtle,
when you go to try to tell somebody about it,
people think “That doesn't sound that bad”,
there's this term called “Plausible deniability” and
that is what they do.
I mean, it's so subtle that it's really hard to describe
what it is that they're doing.
It just doesn't seem that bad
because these micro manipulations are so tiny,
they're literally messing with your mind a little at a time.
There's this old term “Chinese water torture”,
which I kind of don't love that term,
because I'm half Chinese and it's not the greatest,
but it's a little like drip, drip, drip, on your forehead,
where it's just a little at a time,
same as “Death by a Thousand Cuts” thing.
This is how covert narcissists literally make you crazy,
and drive you absolutely insane.
These micromanipulations are what they do to drive you crazy.
It is a subtle form of emotional abuse
that they use in their closest relationships,
to gain a certain sense of control,
or regain a sense of control if they think they're losing it.
It has like the shock value, like,
“I had a biopsy today, I don't know what the outcome will be” and
then they'll unsend it, “That wasn't meant for you”,
something like that and
you'll be like, “What was that?”,
this massive drama bomb and you'll go “What was that”,
then they'll say, “Sorry, that wasn't meant for you,
that was for somebody else”.
It was so that you will go,
“What was that?” “What was that?”
Play on your sympathy, so that you'll come back and
want to know what that was, to get your attention and
then they'll be super secretive about it.
“Oh, that wasn't meant for you, sorry”,
“I know you don't care anymore”,
to try to reawaken your empathy, see if you still care,
try to get you to worry or something to that effect,
so that may be one of the things that they might do.
They'll make you do that,
they know you will go along and you won't say anything,
because they know that you're the type of person
that will go along to get along and
they might say, “It's just a minute, it won't take long”,
and you'll be fine with it.
Then, after awhile, it ends up being like your whole day,
or something like that.
An hour turns into three hours and
it turns into the whole day or something and
you just end up being annoyed or whatever.
But, you just ended up kind of
getting roped into the whole thing and
what can you really end up doing about it?
They end up just sort of roping you into that whole thing.
Then, it makes them sort of feel like,
they got their way, but what can you really do?
They say, “It wasn't supposed to be that” or whatever and
you end up being the bad one if you say anything about it.
So, that's another example.
One of the things that somebody close to me,
for example, it was a family member,
that my husband and I had in our family and
they would do something nice for you,
then, as they're doing something nice for you,
they would be saying something like,
“You're going to get so spoiled
because I'm doing this nice thing for you”.
You kind of get the sense like,
there's these strings attached to them doing something nice,
so, there's like this sort of manipulation around it,
the strings attached to it,
or they might give like a backhanded compliment,
like “You're losing so much weight,
I mean, you have a way to go,
but you really look so much better than you used to”.
“Your friends are so great, but don't really love this person”,
“Why do you hang around people that are so not worthy of you?”,
something like that.
“You really could hang around better people”,
make it seem like your friends aren't the greatest,
or something like that and
talking negatively about people in your life all the time and
trying to just isolate you from your friends,
that sort of thing.
They'll always sort of put you down.
“That sounds like a good idea, but why would we do that?”,
Or “How about if we do it this way instead?” and
you just sort of start to realize that any time
you have given your idea or opinion on something,
they never take your idea or opinion on something.
They just always sort of put it down,
or they'll always sort of discount it and
you realize they always go with their idea or opinion,
it's just always these little kinds of things.
It's a micromanipulation,
just these little tiny things, just tiny things,
like, if you cleaned a room, for example,
they say, “Yeah, you did a good job with it”,
but as they're kind of going behind you and
continuing to fix it up, or to continuing to clean it,
to let you know you didn’t really quite do a great job,
that sort of thing.
So, those are the kinds of things that you see.
If you want to know more about covert narcissism in relationships,
I have a whole video on that.
After a while, it just erodes away at your self-esteem,
at who you are, you just lose the sense of yourself.
I'd love to know what other comments,
or things that you have seen.
Go ahead and put in the comments as well.
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If you are getting ready to negotiate,
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You can join my free private Facebook group for more support,
“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
That's my take on micromanipulations that covert narcissists do.
I cannot stand covert narcissists because of that.
That's why I'm here on my mission, my crusade,
to help save you guys from toxic relationships and
help you break free from that.
I'm the only lawyer on the planet that's doing this at this level.
So, that is why I am here.
Remember today's a great day to start negotiating your best life.
You can do this. Remember to slay.
I will see you guys in the next video!