Four traits of a biblical traditional wife. Now there's been this new trend going on, especially
on TikTok, about a trad wife. It's short for traditional wife. And it generally refers to
a woman who believes and adheres to traditional gender roles within marriage and family life, and
it's kind of exciting. The reason why is because there has been so much mockery against the nucleus
of the family, against a biblical and somewhat traditional roles of a husband and wife. And
they've been mocked and belittled, and even the enemy wants to blur the whole gender differences,
and so it's exciting to kind of see this coming back in our culture. But as Christians,
we're not following the culture, the trends or the hashtags. We're following the Scripture. And so as
a pastor, and as a husband who's been married to a beautiful, wonderful wife, I want to speak into
that. Now for those of you who are listening to this, you're like, "Man, this guy is not going to
tell me what to do. I'm a woman, and I'm not going to take advice from a man." I'm going to try not
to give you my advice but the scriptural advice. But while I'm at this topic, make sure that you
follow my wife's YouTube channel. She also has one where she posts different encouragements to women.
Now the first trait of biblical wife is a wife is a helper to her husband. Now the Bible says that
Genesis 2:20.
At first this may seem like, oh wow, you know so she came as a helper to a man. You know
her purpose, she doesn't have a purpose. Her only purpose is building you know her husband's career,
her husband's life and you know it almost seems like it's diminishing women. But it's
not because the word "helper" is the Hebrew word for "ezer." Which is the meaning for a
person who provides needed help or assistant. It's used 21 times in the Old Testament,
and 16 out of 21 times it refers to God. So God is presented as a Helper. This in any way you
know devalues or lower somebody's importance or dignity, just because of their role of a helper.
The second trait or the second role of a biblical wife, is a wife is a crown on her husband's head.
An excellent wife is a crown on her husband's head. That's what Proverbs chapter 12:4 says,
that an excellent wife is a crown on her husband's head. Now the word "excellent" in Hebrew is
"ha-yil" which means a wife of valor. Meaning a virtuous woman. The word "virtuous" in here,
actually normally was used in a military setting of a man or an army that is strong and mighty in
battle. So when this masculine term is used of a woman in these instances, it speaks of her
strong temperament and her pure moral character. Now the second part of this verse, Proverbs 1:4,
contrasts an excellent wife with one who causes shame. And the Scripture compares the excellent
wife to a crown, and the one that causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. It's almost like
it's a cancer. So there's these two wives. There could be a biblical wife, she's a crown. Now the
culture says, a woman or a wife is a neck. She turns the head. You know, like the man is the
head, the wife is the neck. That's not biblical. Biblical word for a wife or a place is a crown,
which is way above the neck, okay. Neck is like more about control. But a crown is about honor,
it's about glory and it's a very dignified noble place to be in. But the contrast to an excellent
wife is the one that causes shame, and that one, she's not a crown. She's a tumor. She's a cancer.
That's really strong words. And if you know anything about men, wives, one of the biggest
things that hurts a husband is constant criticism, constant making fun of him, comparing him to other
men, disrespecting him publicly, belittling him in front of the children, shaming him for not
being spiritual enough, always lecturing him, always nagging at him, always being negative,
controlling, manipulating with tears, withholding sex, making him feel humiliated on the inside.
A wife that does that is not fulfilling her biblical role and she is not building her husband,
she is not building her marriage. She's actually tearing it down. A third trait of a biblical
wife is she is a winner of her husband. Now, this specifically deals with women that are married to
husbands who do not obey the word. And I know if you're watching this channel, I am certain there's
a lot of you that watch this YouTube channel whose husbands do not serve Jesus. Now, Peter gives us a
secret to those wives, and it's actually one of your roles is you're a winner. You can win your
husband over to Christ, and he gives us the secret of how to do that. 1 Peter 3:1, it says, "Wives,
likewise, be submissive to your own husbands." Whoa. The husbands he's referring to are actually
husbands who do not obey the word. Which he says, "that even if some who do not obey the word, they,
without a word, maybe won by the conduct of their wives." Wife can win her husband
with her conduct. Without condemning, criticizing, lecturing, undermining, nagging
or punishing him. Women have power to influence a husband with their words. They can build up
their man with their words or destroy him. Eve influenced Adam to sin, but Abigail influenced
David away from committing sin, with her respectable words. Now, 1 Samuel 25:32-33.
Abigail didn't lecture, nag or quarrel with David. She emphasized his calling,
his destiny and his integrity. She didn't do it by being negative, and focusing on how stupid
it would be, and wrong of David, to go and attack her husband. David experienced the power of being
forgiven of sin, but this time, he experienced the power of being kept away from sin, by who?
By a wise woman. That woman, she won him over. She literally changed the direction and his course,
from committing a really bad action that David would have committed. She did that through her
words. But Peter tells us, that a woman can do that even without her word. Can you imagine how
powerful a wife is, when she can win her husband with her respectable words. Apostle Peter says,
without a word some wives can win their husbands, by what? Their conduct. So just because your
husband is not a Christian, this does not mean you don't submit to him. Now in a ways of course that
are relevant to or in line with the Scriptures. If your husband tells you to deny Christ,
of course you know don't submit to that. But if basic domestic issues, you submit to your husband,
and then you also speak respectable words because your words of power. But there will be moments,
where you're going to have to win your husband over by your works, not your words. Wives are
winners of their husbands, and they can win them over with their respect, and also with
their conduct. Now the fourth one, and this is the one where it's debated a lot of times and
people are afraid of this word, and it's that wife is to submit to her husband. Now it says, "Wives,"
1 Peter 3:1, as I read, "likewise, be submissive to your own husbands." Ephesians 5:22-24.
Now the word "submission" from the Greek is "hupotasso" which means to place or arrange
under. It's been used in the military, typically, meaning to place yourself under the command of a
leader. It was presented as something that you volunteer yourself, in cooperation and putting
trust in an authority figure. Now, "Submission is a humble attitude where obedience is rendered
within a relationship," according to Martin Mauser. Now, the submission is not just about
obedience. That's not necessarily submission. It's an attitude by which the obedience follows. Now, I
understand by this time you're probably, if you've been drinking from the cultural understanding of
what a wife is supposed to be, this probably is going to drive you crazy, because the idea of
submission is counter human and anti American for those of you from America. We as humans we don't
want to submit to anyone. Now the United States started in rebellion against Britain. So like I
live in America, you know it's national identity in America to rebel, and then in 1960s it became
the virtue of our generation to be rebellious. So I would understand why humans would have hesitancy
toward the Scripture, but I want to help to break that hesitancy because the Bible is not outdated.
We don't need to change the Bible today. Wives, God is not making you less than your husband,
when He's asking you to submit to your husband. Any more then Jesus is less than the Father, when
He fully submitted to the Father. Do you remember how Jesus says, "I and the Father are one." The
same thing as husband and wife. We are one. We are equal. Yet Jesus said, not My will be done
but the Father's will. Jesus says, I do nothing of Myself but what I see the Father do. And so
that's really the model from the trinity, where there is three persons who are equal. All are God,
yet they all submit to one another, and we see the Holy Spirit glorifies Christ, Christ submits
to the Father. There's a sense of order. There's a sense of submission that is there. And I feel like
the trinity, the Godhead is telling us humans, the family unit, says hey, if you really want to make
this work for a long time, there has to be a head. Because some marriages say, "Well, we don't need
a head, you know we're just gonna be two heads." Anything with two heads is a monster, and anything
without a head is a corpse. So marriage needs a head and marriage cannot have two heads. I'm
sorry, you cannot have two heads. That's a creep. That's not a healthy marriage. Jesus submitted to
the Father. It did not make Him less than God by submission. So are you wife, you're not less than
your husband, when you submit to your husband. So think of submission in marriage as a yield
sign. Failure to yield results in disobedience to God's Word, and actually marital problems. Now if
you are an 18-wheeler on the road, you still have to yield to Ikea, if you got the yield sign. Road
rules are to keep us saved. Now if we don't like the rules, we should not be on the road.
See relationships are designed by God, and God sets the rules, and God sets the rule for a wife
to submit to her husband. This is not because He wants to belittle her. It's because God is setting
the rules so that we can have harmony, unity, and so that husband also has to submit to God. And in
some regards the Bible says that we submit to one another. Now, one thing I need to make it clear is
the Bible focuses more on the wife submitting to her husband, than a woman to submit to a man. So
this doesn't mean that in a business, every woman needs to submit to a man. Absolutely
not. In business it could be the opposite, where the woman is this CEO and the men submit to her.
But in marriage, God sets this precedent for a marriage to be happy and to have an order. And so
I really want to encourage you, if you're watching this video and you're a woman and you're a wife,
to reject the Modern Woman's Liberation Movement's idea. Which honestly started positively, but it
ended as a movement that destroys relationships, gender distinctions. That focuses on abortion on
demand, language equality, blurring gender lines, removing the need from men. See it started with
let's give equal rights to women as to men, which is a biblical value. But today feminism
movement pushed so hard to say, we don't need men anymore, and that's not a Biblical value. We have
to reject the culture's view on what it means to be a wife in a marriage, if we want God's blessing
on a marriage. So, who is a wife? To recap. Well a wife, biblically she's a helper to her husband.
Secondly is that she is a crown on her husband's head. Thirdly, she is a winner of her husband,
and fourthly, she is to submit to her husband. I'm very grateful to be married for the last 13 years,
to I would say a biblical wife. Who is supporting me, helping me in the ministry, in the calling,
and I in return provide also for her, take care of her and bless her. She also has a job,
she works and she's also been a crown in my life. She has brought glory, I would say to my life. She
has made me better as a person. Not only that, but my wife has been a great winner. Sometimes she's
done things, even though I'm a believer, where she won me over in a very unique, respectable ways.
I've changed because of her, and you know she has walked in submission. I'm not a dominant you know
controller husband, but there are decisions where sometimes we don't see eye to eye, and my wife
will say, "Hey, you make the final decision. I'll trust in you." And that actually makes me
scared because now I know I'm responsible, not only for my self but for her, for our family,
and this decision could have heavy repercussions. So I would go to prayer and say, "Lord, guide me."
And then I would come back to my wife and I said, "Hey, I really feel like we should do this. What
are your thoughts?" And I always allow her input for that final decision to be considered because
without it, I will not make the best decision for our marriage. And so God bless you wives,
thank you for doing what you're doing. Stay strong, be the biblical woman that God has created
you to be. Thank you for watching this video. Click on some other videos where we deal and I
deal mainly with the man, what it means to be a biblical man. Where I go into a little bit more
details. I believe there's more responsibilities for men as well that we need to tackle. So click
on those videos as well, and don't forget to subscribe. I'll see you in the next video.