Growing up is always challenging, but when you’re a boy, it comes with some special
weird and embarrassing moments.
Here are some weird struggles that only boys will understand.
It’s almost enough to make you envy the girls every time you walk in the boy’s room.
They have clear, private cubicles that they can go into and lock the door when they need
to pee.
For boys and men, though, it’s time for combat at the urinal.
Not only do you have to find a space, but this often feels like a game of tetris.
There’s nothing more awkward than standing right next to some guy you don’t know at
the urinal, so you’d better move fast in order to find a spot where no one’s standing
next to you - and hope no one else comes in.
And it’s not the only time school wants you to get up-close and personal.
Gym class is bad enough, especially when you’ve got it early in the morning.
But then comes the most dreaded part of gym class - the locker room.
According to the teachers, it’s supposed to be a retreat for you to change in and out
of gym clothes privately.
In reality, it’s anything but.
All it takes is one guy and the entire thing descends into a chaotic battle of snapping
towels and stolen pants.
Maybe the best strategy is finding a quiet corner and hoping no one notices you - and
then slipping away when the teacher gets mad at the chaos.
But there’s one area of the locker room that’s even more feared.
If you’ve ever gone into a Turkish or Russian bath, or even your neighborhood gym, you’ve
probably noticed people aren’t very modest.
Old men will just saunter into the shower naked and talk about Sunday’s ballgame.
But in school, it’s a very different story.
Between changing bodies and bullies, it’s always hard to figure out exactly how to act
in the locker room shower.
One thing’s for sure, you don’t want to be caught staring.
So just look at the ceiling and try to get clean - or maybe just skip the shower altogether
if being a little sweaty for math class is the better choice.
It’s not the only area of school where things get a little...macho.
You’ve probably been dealing with bullies for a while, starting when Tommy Jones decided
to shove you down on the playground in first grade.
But as boys get older, the conflicts can get a little more...intense.
Some words are exchanged, and then next thing you know, someone is saying those dreaded
words - Fight after school!
Now you’ve got to spend all day worrying about getting your butt kicked, and you can’t
exactly back out because a hundred people saw it.
And worse, even if you win the fight, you’ll probably get suspended - whether you started
it or not.
Really, it doesn’t take much to get in trouble at school.
You’re just sitting there at lunch, trying to eat your cafeteria sloppy joe without spilling
it on your shirt, and suddenly a carton of milk smacks you upside the head.
It’s a food fight!
Soon the cafeteria’s in chaos, the principal storms in - and you’re one of dozens of
boys hauled to the office, even though you never hurled a single meatball!
The fact is, many teachers and administrators just assume all boys are rowdy troublemakers,
and they’ll just blame the whole group rather than trying to sort out who’s actually guilty.
Maybe they shouldn invest in cameras.
Of course, there’s one area at school that guys struggle with more than any other - girls!
It feels like as soon as many boys hit middle school, a switch is flipped!
Suddenly, you notice that the girl who showed you her favorite snails at recess last year
is actually, really pretty.
And then you can’t think about anything else.
You’re staring at her in class, all the world disappears, and the next thing you know,
the teacher is loudly calling your name and asking you a question you didn’t hear.
Embarrassing, and you vow to pay more attention - and it works until the next time the girl
of your dreams enters your line of sight.
And then there’s the period where the whole first-date thing gets super-intense.
Middle school is where you get your first taste of a classic teenage tradition - the
school dance.
Sure, it’s not as high-stakes as prom - you’re probably just dancing in the gym and you don’t
have to rent a tux - but you’ve still got to answer that one big question.
To ask someone out or not to ask someone out?
Sure you can go solo to a middle school dance, and you probably won’t be alone, but it’s
the perfect opportunity to ask out that crush.
But if she turns you down or has already been asked out, it’s every boy’s worst nightmare.
And even if she says yes, one more big hurdle awaits.
There’s no moment more nerve-wracking for a boy about to go on his first date - meeting
the parents.
Sure, the mom will probably be pretty nice, but she’s just playing the good cop.
It’s time to meet the bad cop - dear old dad.
At best, he’ll probably ask you some probing questions about your intentions, which are
probably to look silly dancing and maybe drink a lot of punch.
If he’s cleaning out his shotgun when you come in, the odds are he’s been watching
too many old moves.
But hey, it could be worse - she could have four older brothers.
And then there’s this timeless dilemma.
Things have changed since your dad was dating for the first time, but one question remains
- do you have to pay for both you and your date when you go out?
For your dad, the answer was almost definitely yes, but it’s a little trickier for you
- and that makes it more stressful.
If you asked her out, the odds are you’ll be paying if you want to look good.
But if she asked you out, it’s much trickier and the check may start to feel like a game
of chicken.
But if you’re hoping for a second date, it may be tempting to just reach for the check
and look good.
If you’re going to see a movie instead, there are still some potential pitfalls.
You probably shouldn’t have seen the movie about the reincarnating dog.
All you can think about is your old dog Sparky.
Your date is bawling her eyes out - and you also want to!
But before you tear up, you remember that old refrain - boys don’t cry.
It’s not accurate, but boys are under a lot of pressure to act manly and emotionless
at all times.
You don’t want to look like a mess in front of your date, but that dog is really getting
to you.
At least you’re in a darkened theater and can bury your head in the popcorn bucket.
Your interests aren’t the only thing that starts changing around this time - your body
is too.
It’s probably the worst fear of every boy.
Your teacher is talking, and suddenly she’s calling you up to the board to solve a problem.
There’s just one problem - you’ve got a pointy reminder of puberty making itself
known in your pants right about now.
She’s not taking no for an answer, and you can’t exactly explain it with the entire
class watching.
So now it’s a long awkward walk up to the front of the classroom, pulling your shirt
down and hoping no one looks too closely.
If all goes well, you won’t be the laughing stock of the class - today.
And that’s not the only weird change you’ll encounter.
What’s one of the most unpredictable parts of puberty for boys?
Body hair!
Sure, you might actually be looking forward to getting your first hairs on your chin or
lip, because it makes you look surprisingly grown-up.
Maybe you can get into an R-rated movie now.
But it doesn’t stay there - hair starts showing up everywhere!
You notice it on your chest, under your arms, and even...there.
It makes showering and getting clean trickier, and you’re kind of wondering if you got
bitten by a werewolf and didn’t know it.
Nope, it’s just those friendly hormones.
And then there’s one change that becomes obvious to everyone.
Maybe you had a high-pitched voice as a little boy.
It’s common, and it also helped out a lot in the school choir.
And then suddenly, like a switch was flipped - it starts cracking.
At first you have a weird, squeaky voice that goes up and down, and by the time it’s done,
your voice is deeper and sounds completely different from your old one.
And those songs you used to sing kind of sound like a slowed-down cover, and you’re being
chased out of the choir room.
Hormones pretty commonly wreak havoc on the voices of boys as they hit puberty, and unfortunately
for that record contract, there’s really no going back.
And if you have some questions, that’s when things get even more awkward.
Your body is changing, son, and it’s time we had a talk.
It’s the words that strike fear in every boy, because you know you and dad are about
to have the most awkward conversation of both your lives.
The odds are he’ll fumble over some explanations that leave you with more questions than you
started with, and he’s probably relying on the same book his dad used to explain it
to him.
Maybe you would have been better off waiting for the sex ed class in school, but go easy
on the guy - he’s probably repeating the lame speech his dad gave to him.
Of course, maybe you decided to try to figure some of this out for yourself.
It’s one of the time-honored rituals of being a teenage boy - searching the internet
for some things you probably shouldn’t be looking for.
There’s just a few things to be careful of.
Make sure you’re not visiting any website that has viruses lurking - and that’s probably
all of them for this subject.
Make sure to be ready to close the window quickly should mom or dad come into the room.
If you’re a little older, you probably have memories of getting your information from
a much more low-tech option - dad’s old adult mags that he keeps under the bed.
But there are a few other things that every boy can eventually relate to - and some of
them are pretty painful.
That body hair is growing fast, and you’re even starting to get that five-o-clock shadow.
But that’s kind of awkward when you’re still a freshman.
Time to break out that shaving gear for the first time.
Exciting!
There’s just one problem - how do you get through your first shave without cutting off
half your face?
Hopefully you’ve got a good teacher and have a steady hand, but the odds are you’re
going to get some nicks.
And they probably won’t be half as painful as when the aftershave hits your skin.
Of course, there’s one pain that comes above any other.
You’ve probably taken a hit or two in the balls over the years, and just thinking about
it makes you tear up.
But that’s nothing compared to one nightmare of every boy - the premature zip.
You’re done peeing, you’re in a hurry, and your penis decides to make an unfortunate
reappearance just as you’re zipping.
This is agonizingly painful in the best of times, an embarrassing hospital visit at worst.
Hopefully this is just a permanent fear after seeing it happen to Ben Stiller in the movies
and not an actual reality.
But some injuries are avoidable - not that it helps.
The odds are, most boys will have some interesting injury stories.
Maybe you tried to joust with a hornet’s nest, or decided to test the speed of a sled
down Doomsday Hill.
And the odds are, it all began with one of your friends saying “I dare you”.
So why do boys keep on making...less than ideal decisions?
Peer pressure and adrenaline.
Your mom probably warned you a few dozen times, but somehow in the heat of the moment the
excitement always feels worth the scars.
At least it’ll make a cool story at school the next day.
For more on the changes boys go through, watch “These Are the Signs You Are Going Through
Puberty” or try “Why Is Blue a Boy’s Color” for another look at how boys are
socialized.