- Mirror, mirror on the wall, it's yoga time.
(can cracks open)
Mirror, mirror, where are ya?
(liquid pours)
- What's up?
- What are you doing?
Wait, why aren't you dressed?
You were gonna work out with me.
- Oh is that today?
- Yes!
Yeah, we talked literally four hours ago.
- Oops, time flies when you're having fun.
- I don't think that applies here.
We're gonna work out.
- Honestly, I feel like you're good.
Like, you're already so masculine looking,
it's kinda off putting, if I'm being honest.
- Well, I'd like to, so.
(mat thwacks)
- Aw jeez, okay, hold on, let me get my stuff.
(phone dings)
(phone beeps)
(giggles)
Oh, you got a secret admirer?
- What, no, oh it's just Leo.
- Who's Leo?
- You know Leo, he's a friend.
- Oh, a friend.
- No, no, no, not like that.
- A friend that you wanna bang!
- No, with Leo?
Oh my god, no, no, no, no.
We do not see each other like that,
we are strictly friends.
- Are you sure he sees it that way?
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Friends, interesting, is he straight?
- Yeah. - Single?
- I think. - He wants to bang ya.
- Oh my god, stop!
- No, I mean, it's a surprise to me,
I hardly believe it all because you look like
an ironing board covered in flesh
but some guys are into weird stuff.
- He's not, okay.
Guys and girls can be friends.
- No they can't. - Yes, they can!
You don't know the details of our relationship.
- Honestly I don't have to.
It's probably better if I don't
because ummm
I don't care
- (sighs) You don't get it.
When we hang out, it's just like super casual.
And also, we're both dating other people, duh, so.
I mean, we're not like now
'cause it's really hard right now but--
- Is this the guy that was here
when you didn't get that job and you were all sad?
- Yeah.
- And he drives you to the airport, too?
- Well, he's my only friend with a car.
- And didn't you guys see Legally Blonde, the musical?
- Platonically, yeah.
- No, no, no, no, no man platonically goes
to see Legally Blonde the musical.
- Well-- - No!
He wants to bang you.
- Stop. - Nope.
You know what, either that or he's in love with you.
I mean, it's probably both and if I can be honest,
if I can be frank with you, I think you take this one
because I don't think there's gonna be a lot
of options for someone like you.
- Oh my god, I'm not gonna date Leo.
- Why? (gasps)
Oh, is it because you're scared of what he's gonna say
when he sees the mole?
- No, I'm not.
He's already seen the mole when I was drunk
coming out of the bathroom, I had my dress
tucked into my underwear.
- Oh poor Leo.
- No, not poor Leo!
No, he's just a friend!
- Alright fine, I forgot you like something
a little more toxic, you like something
a little more degrading (burps) I get it.
(burps multiple times)
- What? - Yeah,
it's like you like being a little bit desperate, you know.
You like the thrill of the chase
and then the inevitable ghosting
or he finds a girl with a cuter nose than you
and a less irritating voice and then you proceed
to creep her for about four months afterwards.
- That was one time and I barely even creeped.
- Well, I hope they're happy together.
- Actually they're broken up and she moved back to Halifax.
I only know that because it showed up
on my explorer, in the discover section.
I didn't like (hums) I didn't pursue it.
- Why don't you date Leo?
- Because we're friends, I promise we are.
We don't see each other that way.
And honestly, I think I would know.
- Would you though? - Yes, I would.
Are we gonna work out or what?
- (groans) Yeah, I got a pretty good buzz on
so I think this is gonna be a good time.
Let's play some jams.
90s R&B, let's do it!
Boom, boom, boom!
- Mirror, mirror on the wall,
oh my god I have to tell you something.
- You and Leo slept together?
- What, how did you know?
- Oh, baby, I'mma forward you my invoice.
- I don't pay you.
Also, no, it's not what you think,
it's not what you said, it was totally different by the way.
You know we were watching a movie and cuddling as usual
and then it was totally platonic,
it was platonic intercourse.
- I win the game.
Time for a drink!
We're celebrating 'cause I was right
and you were wrong, bye bitch.
Just kidding, I love you so much. (blows kisses)
I'll be back, this is gonna end poorly
so you're gonna need me anyway.
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Thank you for watching!
(garbles) See you next time, bye.