Here's a bathroom fact for you that--it's not gross, bear with me--everyday the average
American uses 57 sheets of toilet paper. For a visual, lets count. One, two, this is really
cheap toilet paper, three.
Fifty-one, two, three, four, five, six and seven. That's 57 sheets of toilet paper that
we use every day. You know one super fast way that Americans could cut down on using
all of this? If we got with the rest of the world and started using bidets. For those
of you who don't know much about the bidet, it's kind of like a water fountain toilet
thing where you squat over and there are jets of water that clean off your rectal region.
Clearly I am eloquent when it comes to talking about butts and poops. The bidet was invented
by this French furniture maker in the early 18th century, it might sound weird that it
was invented by a furniture maker but the very first bidets that were installed in French
royal and aristocratic houses were stationed in bedrooms because these were the days of
chamber pots, when you went peepee and poopoo, the same place where you slept. Ugh. And for
francophiles out there the word bidet is translated to 'horse' or more specifically a short, strong
horse, which denotes the straddling gesture that you make over a bidet. A lot of environmental-minded
people are very pro-bidet because it uses only an eighth of a gallon of water whenever
it does its cleaning business whereas all of that toilet paper--the 57 sheets of it
every day--uses a tone of water in the production. It takes about 37 gallons of water to make
a single roll of toilet paper. Crazy wasteful, not to mention all of the chemicals and the
wood pulp ect. that go into those 57 sheets of TP. Not only are there obvious environmental
benefits of bidets but there are also potential health benefits. Oprah's very own Dr. Oz has
said and I quote, 'Besides Pilates the best thing that you can do for your bottom is install
a bidet.' Why? Because he says that by not using toilet paper to wipe and cause that
friction you might actually lower the chances of developing hemorrhoids and ladies pay attention,
they could also possibly lower the chances of urinary tract infections. If bidets are
so wonderful then why don't Americans use them already? Some bidet historians suspect
that it might be a holdover from our English ancestors who first reviled the idea of a
bidet because they thought it was an example of French hedonism--[french accent] Perhaps
le bidet is too French for Americans. Pardon this terrible French accent. And this wasn't
helped by the fact that in World War II American soldiers would patronize French brothels,
see bidets in the bathroom and thus associate bidets with sex that you don't talk about.
And a lot of times people think that we're kind of squeamish about our butt area. Even
though we're okay with taking 57 sheets of toilet paper and wrapping it around our hands
and then, and then cleaning. Using fresh clean water and a hands-free method? No! Maybe it's
time for the United States to hop on board the bidet train. What do you think though?
Have you ever used a one? International viewers, I know that there are a lot of you watching,
let me know if you think it is bizarre that American restrooms do no feature bidets. And
American viewers would you use one, would you install one maybe in your home? Let me
know in the comments. Lets have this bidet conversation.