Wow.
What is my life?
And forgot more lyrics, made up more lyrics,
went home, and cried literally.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
A lot of embarrassing things have happened to me.
But one would be in college when I was walking
past the boys rugby team.
And I was a little hungover.
And your girl had to chuke in the bushes right
in front of all of them.
The most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me
was when I was a flight attendant.
And I was serving a very important businessman a drink.
And I spilled it all over his lap.
When I was younger, I mistaked my dad's car.
We were in a huge parking lot at Disney World.
And I mistaked my dad's car for another's car.
So I got into a stranger's car.
And my dad just left.
[LAUGHS] I guess he thought I was playing a game,
or I was hiding in the trunk.
So I kind of just, like, went home with another family
at Disney World.
[LAUGHS]
When it comes to being embarrassed on "Big Brother,"
I tend to be a little clumsy.
So a few slip and falls here and there might be a little bit
humorous especially walking up and down the stairs
to and from the HOH room.
There's a bunch of embarrassing--
I just all, like, in a huge party
back in Brazil in the middle of Carnival
that was, like, lots of rich people and famous people.
And I don't know.
I have, like, so many embarrassing stories that,
like--
I don't really care when it's embarrassing.
I laugh at myself.
So--
Every morning, I take these little fiber
pills, little capsules with powder in them.
And so I took up going about my day.
And later on during the day, I burped.
And I burped up all this fiber powder.
And it just, like, coated the inside of my throat.
I'm, like, hacking.
I vomited.
My body's just trying to get it all out.
And I was just like, really, from, like, a little pill?
And I'm, like, hunched over the sink for, like, 20 minutes.
It was so stupid and [LAUGHS] kind of embarrassing.
I don't really have an embarrassing story
because everything that I do is so calculated and thought out.
So I don't really--
I don't have a story where, like, I feel
like I was super embarrassed.
I get a lot of, like, secondhand embarrassment
from people saying stupid things.
But I don't actually have any, like,
actual embarrassing stories for myself
because everything I do, I just--
I think about every single move I make for, like,
before I actually make it.
And so I'm very thoughtful about everything.
You know, I don't really get embarrassed.
Anything you try to throw my way, I kind of take in stride.
But I will say the most embarrassing/disappointing
thing that happened is that I tried
to have a roast for myself for a birthday party a few years ago.
And I was ready to get my feelings hurt.
I was like, if you're my friend, you're gonna make
me cry by the end of the night.
I got to this party.
And not a single person had a roast written for me.
They were all just fluffy, nice BS things to say.
So maybe I am ready for Zingbot.
I want Zingbot to hurt my feelings because I'm, like,
three, four years overdue.
I would say the most embarrassing thing that ever
happened to me was when I was getting
ready to be crowned homecoming queen in high school.
And I was walking out with my dad.
And we were on the football field.
And I didn't realize they had called my name.
So my dad kind of, like, tugged along ahead of me
because he heard it before me.
And I ended up tripping and falling in my face in the dirt.
Oh, my gosh.
My light just went out.
Hitting my face in the dirt.
And then I had to get back up.
And then, like, mud all over my face, mud all over my dress.
And then I still excepted a crown
in front of, like, thousands of people that were in the stands.
No.
Like, there's one story that was super embarrassing.
I think it was when I was in the third grade.
And that's how far back it goes because I
remember it very clearly.
I was in class.
It was math, which was one of my favorite subjects growing up.
And the teacher was asking a question
and wanted to, you know, have students give a response.
I was sitting next to my crush at the time in the class.
And I jumped up to raise my hand and just
let out, like, a huge fart.
[LAUGHS] And that was probably the most
embarrassing thing that I can remember
because everybody heard it.
I guess I should get it out the way
because it definitely may happen since we're
gonna be filmed 24/7.
One day-- people may or may not know I'm a bus operator
in the South Side of Chicago.
And when I get really comfortable
or get really relaxed, I suck my thumb.
And one day, I was at a light.
And I was sucking my thumb.
And I looked over.
And it was a kid in a car looking right
at me like, what are you doing?
You're grown.
[LAUGHS] So just to get that look from a little kid
to be like, what are you doing, was
just definitely embarrassing.
And I don't know how long I had been doing it.
So I don't know who else had even seen me from my passengers
to anybody else.
Yeah.
When I was doing van life, one time
I was on the George Washington Bridge, which is, like--
I think it connects New York City to the rest of New York.
Huge.
Like, millions of people every single day.
And I remember while changing lanes,
my van literally died, like, taking
up the entire intersection of the George Washington Bridge.
I swear to God, I held up 100,000 cars
for, like, an hour and a half.
So just hearing, like, all of New York City honking at me,
I honestly thought I would rather have been dead than been
in that specific situation.
So that is probably the most embarrassing
thing to ever happen to me.
And I still think about that.
And I'm like, oh, my God.
That's the cringiest hour or two.
It was, like, a never ending-- like, usually
an embarrassing situation lasts, like, one minute.
That was, like, a full two hours of the worst minute of my life
every single second.
So [LAUGHS] yeah, probably that.
This is pretty embarrassing.
So I'm 29 years old.
And about a year ago, I moved back in with my parents.
So I'm single, 29.
I'm living with my parents.
So whenever I go on dates, I basically just say that I
have two elderly roommates.
I don't tell them that they're my parents.
Well, one evening, a girl was coming over.
It was a little bit later at night.
We had been talking for a while.
And I specifically told her, call me when you get here.
And I will walk you into the basement apartment
rather than knocking on the front door
and meeting my parents.
Well, she didn't take that advice.
And I got a knock on my basement door.
And it was my mom in her bathrobe walking my date
into the basement apartment.
And I was mortified.
So that was pretty recent and pretty terrible.
OK.
Is it bad that this is too easy?
My most embarrassing moment was in high school.
I was getting ready for homecoming.
And I had never gotten my nails or my,
you know, pedicure before, a manicure before.
So I went with a friend.
And I was a cheerleader in high school.
So I was fairly flexible.
And I got my nails done.
And it came time to get my toes done.
And I remember just feeling this sense
of panic, like, oh, my God.
Like, good thing I wore pants.
How in the world am I gonna get my feet up on this little table
so that they can paint my toes?
But, you know, I was a cheerleader.
I was flexible.
So I hike up my leg onto the manicure table
and try to position my toes so that the lady can paint them.
My friend looks at me like I just, you know,
did something unmentionable.
And lady's like, no, no, no.
You'll go over to the recliner.
We'll do your toes over there.
And everyone was looking at me in the nail salon thinking,
what is this girl doing?
Yeah.
I don't like to get my nails done anymore
after that experience for sure.
So there is a very long list of embarrassing things
that happened to me.
I might look smooth on the outside,
you know, maybe dressed decently well.
You know?
But it's hair gel.
But it's something where I'm extremely clumsy,
something my family-- they consider me,
like, the Labrador of the family,
the puppy, where, you know, I just make everybody laugh.
I'm not really trying.
So an embarrassing story.
And the people that I work with love this story.
So it was my first year of coaching.
And I went out.
Thursday night was Halloween.
Went out, had a good time.
But I knew I had practiced and had to coach
and work in the morning.
So I tried to be super responsible
and Uber myself home at a reasonable time.
You know, this way, I was good for work in the morning,
had my phone.
I was ready to go.
So I Ubered myself home, which was supposed
to be only 10 minutes away.
And I got to the Uber, actually fell asleep.
And I Ubered myself about two and a half hours away
and slept there where I Ubered that night just
in a parking lot.
Woke up that morning and realized that I still had,
you know, about two hours before practice started.
But being so far away, I was not gonna make it in time.
So I had to show up to practice dressed up in my sailor's
costume, change very quickly, and made it just as practice
was, you know, in the middle.
And I thought people really didn't notice.
But they definitely did.
I got a call from Legends in Concert
in Las Vegas, which is, like, the highest
you can go being a tribute artist or impersonator.
Moved out there and lived in a hotel room.
The next day, they put me in the show.
And they're like, here's your five songs.
You already studied them, right?
And I'm like, yes.
They're like, what about the finale?
I was like, no. What is it?
They show me a video.
It's "Viva Las Vegas."
Obviously, if you portray Elvis, you know "Viva Las Vegas."
But I came from a theater background.
So being a tribute artist, "Viva Las Vegas"
wasn't in my repertoire.
Well, I had about three hours until the opening curtain
happened and rehearsed with the singers
and dancers and musicians.
And they're all pros.
They've been doing it for years.
I'm looking off my iPhone for the lyrics of "Viva Las Vegas"
by Elvis Presley when I'm at the highest
position you could go in Vegas at Legends in Concert as Elvis.
I'm about to perform in about three hours.
And these dancers and musicians are looking at me
like, this is our new Elvis?
Like, this guy who doesn't even know his own lyrics?
Well, fast forward to opening curtain.
We perform the set.
We go to the finale.
I go out there.
And I forgot to include that there
will be these beautiful dancers who
are half naked showgirls now.
Earlier they were in sweatpants.
So now I'm trying to, like, remember these lyrics.
I'm making them up on the spot hoping
no Elvis fans really notice in Vegas singing "Viva Las Vegas."
And these half naked showgirls just circling around me.
I'm like, wow.
What is my life?
And forgot more lyrics, made up more lyrics,
went home, and cried literally.
[MUSIC PLAYING]