Mark: How to make him miss you long distance! Seven ways to make him miss you in a long
distance relationship. I am here with France's number one, dating relationship, coach Alex
Cormont. Thank you for coming in, sir!
Alex: Nice to see you man!
Mark: This gentlemen has coached more than 30,000 people all around the world, incredible
12 years he's been doing this. Who better to bring in because he really, you're the
romance guy! You know, you're creating romance, you're doing it for people all around the
world and missing someone long distance. It does have that romantic element to it, doesn't
it? What's your seven tips? What's your first idea, Alex?
Alex: So I think it's really important. The first tip that I want to share with you, it's
when we think about long distance relationship, we think about a relationship in problems
because we are not close to each other, but you know, I have personally experienced long
distance relationship because I'm from France. I live in the US and with my fiance, we were
at long distance relationship. But I was able to focus also on myself. And I first started
to think that if, if I want her to miss me, I need to always be positive - tip number one.
Mark: So it's really creating this positive experience.
Alex: Exactly. It's to think that this relationship can work. It's to think that this relationship
is beautiful even if we are not always together. So you need to train your mindset and tell
yourself, even if I'm in a long distance relationship, it will work. It's not, it CAN work. It WILL
work for sure. Because you will be able to be yourself and to not just be after this
man or overwhelm him because that's when the breakup occurs when there is a long distance
relationship. So tip number one, I want you to train your mindset.
Tip number two, I just want you to focus on your qualities because the people that I've
coached, most of the time women, they are always losing self confidence when they are
in a long distance relationship. They think that he will cheat, he will not be attracted,
or just, he will not give a lot of love months after months. So I want you to focus on your
qualities. I want you to make sure that you will be always confident when it comes to
talking about this relationship and not to be scared of losing him or make scared of
that he will cheat on you because when we are scared, things will happen. Fears. Yeah, exactly.
Mark: And the thing about long distance is you don't have as much time together,
which actually gives you a huge opportunity to spend more time working on yourself. That's
really cool.
Alex: And that's really important because when you met this man, it was attracted by
you. So if you change this you and you become needy, or you give him a lot of time, and
you would just not do that the other tip that I was sharing with you, I can guarantee you
your relationship will be over soon, and this is not what I want for you. So tip number
three, it's really important for you to understand that as human, we are talking about what is
negative and not positive. So we focus so much on negativity. So if something happened
at your work and your boss was yelling at you. This is not something to share to your
boyfriend, not all the time, for sure. You can just rely on him. He will be here to help
you, but long distance relationship are based on positive energy and positive experiences.
So it's really important for you to just focus on it because I don't want you to lose yourself
one more time and to focus on something that humans are doing - focusing on negativity.
Mark: Yeah. I talked about this in a previous video, and I don't think I can drum this in
enough. Any relationship, you know, John Gottman's research, five to one positive to negative
experiences. It's not five to zero. It's not like you can never share a negative experience,
but give him five great things for every one thing that you want to complain or vent about
because that is what draws us to people and what makes someone miss us or us, or they,
us miss them is the feelings that we get from them. And so if every time you interact, you're
getting this kind of positive feeling, positive vibe from him, you miss him. And the same
is true in reverse.
Alex: And that's really important. Now, something weird that are fun would be my tip number
four. It's when we look at the relationship and the long distance relationship, the reason
of the breakup, it's not the long distance. It's the routine because when you will meet
each other, you will always do the same thing. You want to stay in the room. You may be want
to have sex, or you want to go... Yeah, instead of going to the theater, you will stay in
the room and watch Netflix. But the problem is nothing will be excited here. So you will
not keep the excitement or the attraction. So I want you to always remember, you have
to create memories. You have to create memories even in long distance. So plan the next trip,
plan some ideas. And one advice that I can give you, you should never meet your boyfriend
or girlfriend at home. Try to meet somewhere that you will discover together because you
will not stay in the hotel. You will want to.
Mark: We think we can't go on dates just cause it's long distance. We can! We can.
Get you, get you a satellite wifi, get you a satellite internet, go on a date around
the place, go to a theater, go to a park, or just take the other person out to places.
And you're bringing them in that experience. That's so beautiful. And that's something
that they can watch and share with you. And yeah, I love that.
Alex: Yeah. And you know, something that we need to protect also, that could be my tip
number five is when we are in a long distance relationship, we feel that we need to always
be connected. So we will talk on Facebook, on Instagram, on WhatsApp, on Skype. And then
we realize we're always talking, but we become friend and not like love. So I want you to
be careful when it comes to communication. It's not because you're in the long distance
that you need to always be connected. I love something that you have said in a previous
video when I was interviewing you, you said distance can create attraction. So it's not
that we are mad or we are not talking to each other.
It's more, "Okay, will do my life and I will leave my phone, and I would just be in a present
moment with my friends, with my family or at work. And then, this will work for my long
distance relationship because you will be naturally distant."
Mark: It's this concept of natural space, the space that you create not because you're
trying to be distant and push him away, but a natural space that you create when you're
living your life, put your phone away, when you're at the gym, or you're off doing your
thing at work, you're concentrating on work, just creates this very natural space for the
guy to miss you.
Alex: Sometimes people asking me, "Alex, what should I do? I'm in a long distance relationship.
What is the magical tool we have it can work?" And I want to tell you something. There is
no magic when it comes to love.
There is two things that I want to share with you, and that will be my two last tips. You
need to live with purpose. So you need to have your own life, your own dreams. And
I love to tell my client, "We only have one life. Let's do something crazy, just be yourself!"
And you need to allow yourself to follow these dreams. So to live with purpose. And honestly,
I just use this expression from you. So I'm quoting you a little. I love this expression.
I was not able to translate my friend's views in English like you did, so it was amazing!
Thank you so much! And my last tip, please guys, you need to make sure that you're planning
the future even if you're in a long distance relationship. I have coaches they want to
be together, so they try to work to get a visa, to change the work or to meet in another
country and to make sure that will be able to live together.
But I've also other coaches where their goal is to stay long distance. It's just, just
planning the future. Then it's all they do is what they want to do in 15 years. So I
want you to tonight, just dream about your life. Where do you see yourself in 20, 30,
40 years? Where do you see your relationship in this time too? Because then, you will be
able to avoid the small stuff, avoid the small problems, because even in long distance relationships,
there is always more stuff and more small arguments, I can say
Mark: Of course.
Alex: So just focus on the future. If you can create this plan, your relationship will
be stronger and you will be the happiest person in the world.
Mark: What do you recommend Alex if someone isn't willing to plan with you or isn't on
the same page with the planning?
Alex: So I guess if someone doesn't want to plan, if someone is not really involved in
the relationship, I would just try to stay a little bit distant and to work on the attraction
and the romance. Maybe we can do a video about romance together because this is where we
can have someone really involved. If I'm not planning, it's because I don't pay attention
to you. If I'm not planning it's because I'm taking you for granted. Even if in a long
distance relationship, it can happen and it's not good. So if we work on it, it's you start
to live with purpose, I can guarantee you, your man will plan a lot of things and will
be after you. He will be chasing you.
Mark: I love that! And what do you recommend finally, about couples who have met online?
I'd love to hear your thoughts cause there's two different long distance situations. There's
the couple that were together and then had some time apart. So they've kind of got the
foundation. What's your advice for people who have met online? I have to be honest,
this isn't something I coach for, but it is something that happens if you've met someone
online, and you haven't actually spent time with them yet. What are your thoughts on those
types of relationships?
Alex: I would keep in mind that we are not in a relationship. We are still in the attraction
process because you know, I have heard so many women telling me, "Alex, I feel that
I know these men for 10 years. And then when they meet, they are just going too fast. To
build a relationship, there is some phase you need to take the time to play the seduction,
the attraction, the romance as French people always say. So my advice is to not think in
a relationship. Don't think like you're married for 10 years if you've never met him before
and it will hold you to just be playful and also to be more attractive. So you will always
have to chase you, so I'm not against meeting online. I think it's beautiful, but sometime
we just are too emotional and these emotions will lead your relationship to a breakup because
it's not strong. So I want you to learn who is this guy to learn him, to just make sure
you know him before to be in a relationship. That's something really important.
Mark: Yeah. I love that. I think not calling it a relationship until you've actually met
is very wise advice. Thank you so much for coming in, Sir. It was a pleasure to have
you as always, France's number one relationship and dating coach. How can they find out more
about you?
Alex: You can find me on my French website alexandrecormont.com but also my US website,
frenchrelationshipexpert.com.
Mark: Check it out and make sure do it! Make sure you subscribe to his YouTube channel.
The guy's phenomenal and just meeting him, I've really appreciated how much. So Alex,
thank you for coming in! We will get you answering some comments in the space below, so make
sure you leave them - thoughts, comments and questions. Hit the like button and the big
red subscribe button with the little bell, so you get all the notifications of future
videos. And we'll see it in the next one real soon.
Alex: Bye bye!