[electronic version of "Silent Night" plays]
[fizz, sip]
Aahhh!
[typing]
One very important part
of the Christmas tradition is
tradition
for a lot of people, myself included.
Specifically, the tradition of watching
childhood favorite Christmas movies,
like the one that the game today is based on.
And, uh...
no, it has sadly nothing to do with the classic Rankin-Bass
stop-motion special with a couple of misfits
or any cool stuff like that–nope!
It's based on some 1998 musical,
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Movie,"
that I'm pretty sure no one really cares about anymore.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's Magical Sleigh Ride,
published by WizardWorks and developed by ETI Entertainment Technologies, Inc., in 1998.
And if you've never heard of the developers, just know that the people behind this
also worked on titles like Anastasia: Adventures with Pooka and Bartok
and Cosmopolitan: Virtual Makeover.
And while the box may look suspiciously like the movie's at first,
it's got a gimmick that makes it less lazy and actually pretty unique.
Rudolph's nose... lights up
and blinks away,
which I imagine was pretty eye-catching on a store shelf.
I'm gonna go ahead and say it flat out:
this is the single-most interesting thing about this game.
So let's take a closer look,
'cause I'm avoiding everything else.
Inside the box, you get a pretty normal cardboard insert,
but there's a little spot cut out
just for an LED to fit through.
Nestled in between the cardboard is a battery pack
holding two AA batteries
and two wires connecting to the LED board taped to the front.
It's just a simple red LED
connected to the circuit with a transistor in the middle,
allowing for the blinkage.
Kinda crazy that they'd go to the extra expense
just for a low-budget seasonal movie tie-in game.
I assume it was some kind of partnership with Rayovac
due to the branding on the back of the box.
But, oh yeah, there's still a game here, too.
I almost forgot.
Also in the box is the game itself on a single CD-ROM,
but mine didn't come in the correct jewel case.
Instead, mine came with Too Many Typefonts!
Rudolph the RNR's MSR begins with a short little animated animation.
WOMAN: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's Magical Sleigh Ride.
Aw, man, that lady's voice sounds like every children's audiobook I've ever heard.
I love it!
Too bad she's never used again.
And then you get a disturbingly simplistic menu,
with options to do things like start the game
or go to the print shop–
W-wait, print shop?
Yes, this features, and I quote,
"three magical activities,"
one of which is an external print program.
It's simple enough. You just pick from a bunch of pre-made characters, objects and backgrounds,
place them wherever you want and maybe drop in some text,
then print it out as a black-and-white coloring book page.
Quite appropriate, actually, since the entire Rudolph story was created for Montgomery Ward
as a cheap replacement for the coloring books
they were handing out in the 1930s.
But I couldn't print anything here,
since it just crapped itself whenever I tried.
I guess that's what I get for expecting printers to actually work.
So, moving right along to the game itself.
And, uh... [laughs]
Oh, man.
This has gotta be the best intro I have ever seen.
ELVES: Hey, look, what's going on– RUDOLPH: I gotta make a special sleigh run.
ELVES: We sure can–
[dialogue and sound effects overlapping]
Yeah, so if you try to run this on an incompatible machine,
everything runs like ten times too fast and gets all jumbled up.
It's hilarious.
Though as much as I love it,
it also makes the game completely unplayable,
so let's try that again on another PC.
RUDOLPH: Can you get the toys and bring 'em to Santa's sleigh?
ELF #1: We sure can, Rudolph!
ELF #2: This thing's all ready to go, go, go!
ELF #3: I'll get the gifts, Rudolph!
I'm on my way!
[slide whistle]
ELF #3: Yahoo!
ELF #2: Be careful!
LGR: Right, so now that everyone's off the caffeine,
the gist of the story is that Santa's mismanaging the North Pole AGAIN.
Somehow, he's let this terrible contraption come into existence,
which drops oil and bees onto you for no good reason.
It also drops presents every so often,
and it's your job as the head elf or whoever
to catch all of them and avoid the oil, killer bees,
and evil penguins with snowball bazookas.
Anyway, once you get the set number of gifts
without losing your candy cane health,
it's on to another short cutscene of no consequence whatsoever.
Then it's time to wander around the world
and pick where to go next.
Although, how they managed to create the clunkiest interface for something so simple is beyond me.
Sometimes you need to press left, sometimes right,
sometimes left and right just to enter a single city. It makes no sense.
Finally, you're off to deliver the gifts you caught earlier
and, uh...
Hmm, well this looks quite familiar, doesn't it?
At least if you have seen my other Christmas reviews.
Special Delivery: Santa's Christmas Chaos did the exact same thing 14 years prior,
just with more solid clouds.
And sadly, you don't get to do all the cool trespassing through the chimney
like you could in that game.
Nope. Here, your only job is to avoid the things flying at you,
and to make your delivery to the city's home.
Yes, home.
Not "homes."
Find the home
with all the Christmas lights and ignore everything else.
That's the one you want.
I guess the moral of the story here is
you'd better decorate your house for Christmas
or else Santa doesn't care,
and will just pass right on by without a second thought.
Seriously, he doesn't even care if it makes it to you safely.
He just has his elf toss it down the chimney.
I mean, what if there was a fire going?
Oh, well. Too bad. Try again next year.
And really, that's it
for Rudolph and the Sleigh- Nosed Ride of Reindeer Magic,
or whatever, the name's too frickin' long.
You just do this until you're congratulated and earn a medal of valor.
Although I honestly have no idea why Rudolph receives it
because in case you didn't notice,
you don't play as him for the entire game!
Every single thing is done by an elf,
from the gift collecting to the tossing of presents
into fires around the world.
And yet, here's this squeaky-voiced punk
who comes along and gets everything handed to him
because he's got a genetic defect that the slave-driving management
finds useful one night of the year.
What about the elves, man?!
What thanks do THEY get?
NONE, that's what!
I bet they aren't even allowed to unionize!
It's no wonder that elves in so many other Christmas games
are always causing havoc in one way or another.
They don't get no respect.
Well, anyway, enough polar politics.
What it comes down to is this is a simplistic game
that is sorta, kinda, not really based on a Rudolph movie that no one remembers
with a print program that doesn't work
and a set of mini-games that get boring before you even start them.
I will say that the animations and graphics themselves are quite awesome.
The artist behind this definitely had talent.
But other than the art, the box itself,
and the fantastic glitches that make everyone freak out like they've had 37 lattes,
there's just not even a reason to even bother.
It might amuse your kid for an hour or two,
but there are a hundred other things that do it better
and actually have some values to teach.
All this teaches is that you need to decorate your house to get presents
and that no matter how hard you work,
someone more special is going to come along and take the credit.
Merry Christmas and have a happy status quo.
[cackling laugh]
[thunder]
[MIDI version of "Winter Wonderland" plays]
Well, on that delightful note, I hope you enjoyed this video,
and I hope that you have a very merry Christmas indeed.
If you somehow enjoyed this,
uh, you might want to check out some of my other ones,
especially the Christmas ones that I've done more recently
because they are far more in the Christmas spirit than this.
You can check them out on my channel page,
or you can subscribe to receive anything that I make in the future
right on your YouTube subscription thingie.
You can also follow and interact with me on Twitter and [Facebook]
for other things that I happen to ramble on about,
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and stuff like that.
And as always, thank you very much for watching.